Difficult Situation I am in (Help or Die)

This is probably a bit long for some, but I just need advice or just someone to say something.

I have a hardcore crush on this girl and I am having difficulty hanging out with her. She is a total random girl and kind of quirky, which is a lot like me. Her spontaneity is real attractive to me, and I can tell she'd just be a fun girl.

I've been hanging out with her and friends recently and I feel she is giving me signals.

But this is where it gets tricky. I have no way of contacting her besides through my friends. These friends are:

Friend 1 - just met him last year, cool guy, real nice, no problem with the girls, he flirts with the girl a lot

And then there is my Cousin - he claims he really really likes her, he flirts with her a lot, i love him to death cause hes my cousin, but he's done some dirty shit to me (like getting head from a girl i was talking to and never telling me about it as well as trying to talk to another girl I was makin moves with)
--With him it's odd though, because for how much he really likes her he goes off and tries to hook up with as many girls as possible at the same time. He also tries to get me and her to get together whenever we are at parties and stuff.

I can't just ask these guys to call her up to hang out because then it'd be like I'm crossing into territory with them I don't want to have to deal with. However whenever I hang with the girl she always gives me what I think are signals.

She is a real good girl and doesn't do shit with guys, beyond making out with them, but she isn't against anything beyond. As far as I know, she just hasn't had a boyfriend. Anyways, one night we were sitting in her driveway just talkin. At this point Cousin was trying to get with her.

Conversation moved to sex, and were asking how many for everyone. Friend had a few, Cousin had more, she asked me and I said 0 and she really likes that idea. Tells me I'm the favorite, and later says how we really will need to get together.

Next time we hang out not much, it's been a few weeks or so and me and Friend pick her up at her house. We are in the car going to get some food and somehow talk got to her making out with a lot of guys but she never goes further, so it's cool. She says how she still needs to make out with me and stuff, (I'm SO down, lol).

In the parking lot about to leave, i move some pot i had recently picked up to my trunk and she asks what I was doing. My Cousin had told me that she was really against pot but she drinks. I told her what it was and she was cool with it asking about it.

Friend asks if we wanna smoke a bit, so I start splitting a swisher, I ask her if she wants to, and she is totally cool with it. Unlike what Cousin said. (Maybe she knows I love my green? ) We end up not smoking, but that's all cool.

We then go to a friends house and I end up leaving before everyone else. I'm peacin to all and she comes running up to hug me and tells me again "You're my favorite." (Maybe I'm her favorite?) Me being a total dork was just like "Excellent!" and said bye before i got in my car. As I drive off she turns around and I give a cool peace sign to her. (I'm such a shmoozer /sarcasm)

A couple nights ago I hang out with her and Friend is there, him and her tell a story about how he was flirting with her and all. She is totally acting everything that he tried to do on me. I'm just laughing like a nervous fool, I think she was toying with me, but it was fun. (I feel like she knows a connection and is just messing with me)

Again she makes it a point to hug me before she leaves.

Here comes the questions.

This weekend she is having a house party that I'm gonna hit up. At these parties again, Cousin always tries to get me and her to hook up and hopefully he'll do the same thing.

Do you think it'd be terrible to take up the chance and go outside with her and just tell her in a dorky way I have a crush on her? (I play on my dorkiness and use it as humor, but have had many girls dig on the nerdy style)

I just don't know how Cousin will react if I make a move on her, cause she's the type of girl I'd want to date.

Friend would be stoked about it, cause she's supposed to be a tough one to get at.

I kind of want to smoke with her too, because I dont drink and I have this little desire in me to smoke with girls that never have before.

Her parents are gone and hopefully all systems are go, but what do you guys think?

 

I say go for it, dude! All's fair in love and war. And if your cousin reacts negatively just tell him I said that. lol seriously, I think there's nothing wrong with you making a move. Best of luck.

 

I thought this would be a nice place for this.

 

Go for it. I guess, the early bird gets the worm. I think you should talk to your cousin about it too, and explain to him that you really like her and everything.

 

nah, i'm not talkin to my cousin about it, he's been a dick to me about girls...well pretty much all the time.

as for man up? yeah probably...i saw her last night and totally wussed and walked away

maybe if i hire someone to spray me with water every time i do something wrong I can learn to do something good. lol

 

I feel like I lost my chances i don't even know...

 

Just go for it. It's better to regret doing something then to regret not doing anything, and then never knowing how it could have turned out.

 

It's all good...mostly

She had a party. Had a few beers, flirted around a bit, kissed her, got her phone number.

I stayed at her house

Lol, I didn't go to sleep, but I was snoozin a bit in the kitchen when everyone else was passed out, she came down early in the morning and we talked and joked around.

Scored some brownie points when I went out and got food for her and myself.

Only problem now is the Cousin...I feel so bad cause he was piss drunk and confessing shit he probably shouldn't be sharing with everyone. I don't think he has any idea, but she was giving me clear signals.

I think I'm gonna tell her tonight (another party :O ) how I feel. Depending on what she says, I want her to tell the Cousin how she feels about him. And I am not gonna make a for real outright move on her for a bit.

My cousin has done shady shit to me concerning girls, but that doesn't mean I need to fuck him over too. I know he really loves me and I love him, we truly are like brothers, so I just want him to not be too upset, especially with me.

 

Thats awesome man. Good luck, she sounds like a good girl.

 

I might take her camping tomorrow
We will see how it goes, cousin is coming too. But my best friend is coming too, so he will probably distract cousin.

 

Just figured maybe some of you would like to be updated on how things go.

Last night we went camping. It got awkward really fast as everyone split into two tents.
It left me, her, and my cousin in one tent. I was definitely getting vibes from her that she was uncomfortable, party because it was raining and the tent was getting soaked and also I think because of the cousin.

Ended up everyone came back into our tent because their's had started caving in or something, and from there we went to cars.

I have no idea how, I was pretty high, but she ended up in my car with me alone.
Cousin was pretty pissed off, but she seemed happy. If he tries to confront me about it, I'm just telling him that I just went with the flow.

Anyways, we stayed up for about an hour or two talking. I joked with her a bit and drew out her secret crush on me that wasn't all too secret. I told her I liked her and it was all good.

Nothing more happened, but that was alright. I am happy enough knowing how she feels and now that she knows how I feel towards her, it's just all good.

I don't think I need to go on with this thread, I think I know what will come of all this and it makes me happy

 

This was a nice story, it seems like everything is going down the right path for you... She seems like she's completely into you and you did nothing wrong getting to where you are now... good job taking the high road haha..

 

the "high" road.

jesus, past couple times I've been with her I've been a little impaired, kinda sucks, but it was fun. Definitely made things easier to say.

 

bud, your cousin might be related, but if he's done underhanded shit with you as far as girls go in the past, don't trust him. I had a 'friend' that was like that, and thought he could be trusted to uphold friendship over a piece of ass. Nope, he talked the girl (virgin, too) to screwing him, under the pretense that I'd 'never know'. Kinda funny when she turned up pregnant, though.

Karma.

But seriously, that's my only contribution, is if the cousin's that much of a dirty dog as far as the girls go...how else is he gonna fuck you? Set some boundaries of what you expect from him as far as you're concerned, or else he'll keep trying to find ways to use you for whatever.

You can be upset, and call me out on ragging over your family, but from your own words, he's not trustworthy, and this is just me having been in the situation before telling you to be freaking careful. That's it. No insult or hate intended, man.

 

I'm not offended, those are words of caution, and I appreciate them.

I guess I kind of know this stuff, I would just rather not believe it just because I've always been loyal to him.

Even when she was in my car and telling me how she felt about me and then she said something about him, I kept my mouth closed. I just told her I don't really want to say anything bad about him.

Maybe I'm just being too nice, sacrificing myself a bit to cover his ass. It was kind of obvious that she wasn't feeling him, but I still wouldn't say anything negative about him in front of her because he still likes her.

 

yeah, just let his actions speak for their own, because badmouthing anyone only makes the person doing it look like they've got a grudge or an axe to grind. I think she's already seen that he's 'not her type', but just hang out, and if he's like 'that' just let him hang himself with his own behavior. People that do other people dirty usually won't learn, because they 'do' have other people who hate to see them get hurt/in trouble/whatever, and so they never 'grow' at all, because someone else is always around to save their butt. Don't be that guy that bails him out.

good luck with this, and congrats with her being fond of you.

 

Thanks, seriously.
That actually really helps me out.

I guess he kind of dug himself a grave, so to speak. Not anyone can get him out but his self. It upsets me, knowing that he truly is a good guy, but I can't drag myself down and handicap my own relationships to try and help him up.

hmm, and i thought i had a clear path. with the girl it is pretty clear to me now. just the cousin now...i suppose it is up to him on how he wants to react.

If he wants to accept that I may be entering a relationship with this girl that he likes, good, I think we can both gain from that.

If not, I can see our own relationship hurting a bit, perhaps even my relationships with other people, seeing as we both go to the same school and hang out with the same crowd. That is also more up to the other friends we have and their perception.

If anyone still has any advice, it is all welcome. Critical advice, compliments, anything , I'll read it all and I'm sure it will help.

 

dude, 'clear path' and 'woman involved' are mutually exclusive concepts as far as I've found. women in general seem to be the signposts to life's detours.....granted, the scenery's nice, but if you're not careful, you'll lose track of where you were going in the first place.

 

dude im gonna give you the best advice you will ever hear.
fuck ten girls. go ahead do it. after you have fucked 10 other girls let me know if you still feel the same for this girl you have a crush on. (ok well maybe 10 is a little exaggerated but fuck a couple at least)


my point is this: stop whining about this "ONE" girl because there are many girls that are better. look at it this way: are you gonna mary her. most likely not. so therefore u just want to fuck her. sit down, read what i wrote and ask your self honestly "do i want to fuck this girl" obviously the answer is yes! because your attracted to her. but dont get hung up on this girl just because your cant fuck her. fuck some other hoes and see if it doesnt change your mind.

at the end of the day shes not gonna say "aww gee i feel sorry for this guy cuz he has such a huge crush on me, let me just fuck him!" nope, aint gonna happen!
what shes really gonna do is fuck someone who SHE is attracted to. so how do you get her to become attracted to you? well its not gonna be by hanging around her and being her lap dog. no sir! what you have to do is fuck other hoes, let her know that you are attracted to her but have other options, let her make some of the moves, let her work for it, because if your the only one working for it, thats not attractive.

just think about it, she is unattainable to you, in other words you cant have her (yet). thats what makes her so attractive to you. now if you turn the tables on her, and you become that thing which is unattainable then you become attractive, get it? now stop being a whinny little bitch and crush some pussies!

 

IMjustfishin....maybe you didn't read everything I wrote. The problem isn't so much her, bro. It's my cousin, cause that is what is making the situation difficult.

let me also give you some other background info that I'm not afraid to share.

I am a virgin, this girl is a virgin. I don't WANT to go fuck other girls, and as far as our conversations have gone on this subject, she doesn't want to go just fuck random guys.

I'm not whining about her at all, I'm asking for advice on the SITUATION that you obviously didn't read about.