difficult getting a read on my girlfriend about having a threesome

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by mchip, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. mchip

    mchip Member

    This question is really for the ladies here as I'm trying to get a read on my girlfriends response to a conversation we had about having an mfm threesome.

    Just a little background on us. We've been together for almost two years now and have a really close relationship. She's pretty conservative outside of the bedroom but shares my very strong sex drive. Neither of us have a lot of experience with previous partners as we are both coming off of long marriages and I only had a few sexual relationships prior to her. She has only had sex with her ex-husband and myself.

    About 6 months into our relationship I put a few fingers in her mouth during intercourse. She went absolutely crazy and a few weeks later was expressing her desire to have me in her mouth. This quickly became one of her favorite activities and we both really enjoy it. She will come several times before we even begin intercourse if I work her with my tongue or hands vaginally at the same time.

    Seeing how excited she is with this I slipped out a quick thought I had on if she would enjoy having another man working one end of her while I was working the other. She initially seemed excited at the idea and asked me if I had anyone in mind. At the time I had not put that much thought into this and definitely hadn't started thinking about who I would want to join us, so I said no I didn't.

    We didn't talk about it much for several weeks and while we were cuddling after sex in the truck one day I mentioned having another guy with us at that moment wouldn't be so fun. She agreed with me and we dropped it.

    Well unfortunately this desire seems to keep popping back into my man brain. Several weeks went by and I brought it up again but this time she mentioned some concerns such as not being able to imaging any mans hands on her other than mine.

    At this point I'm wondering what she truly feels. When we are hot in the moment and I'm working her with my hands or tongue and she has me in her mouth she is going absolutely crazy. Do you think her shying away from the idea is her true feelings or is possibly just guarding my feelings? Her asking if I had anyone in mind the first time I brought it up makes me think she would be into it too but she is now shying away after hearing my moment of concern. She said she asked if I had anyone in mind just to see how far I had taken the thought, does this make sense?

    Sorry for the long post but I'm hoping this will give you enough information to tell me what to do. Keep in mind I really would like to try this out but I do not want to lose her over it. Maybe I screwed up my chances in my moment of questioning it myself.....ugh
     
  2. jimandjan

    jimandjan Member

    You need to talk to her about it. Just bring it up again during sex. For us it was a fantasy for a couple of years. Try a toy instead of your fingers. Maybe watch a movie, with threesome action. And yes if you don't have someone in mind. Finding a nice guy can be a problem. It should be a special evening, all about her satisfaction. Good luck.
     
  3. eggsprog

    eggsprog anti gang marriage HipForums Supporter

    Just ask her sometime when you're not in the middle of sex. Sometimes what someone thinks about to get off isn't something that they would actually want.
     
  4. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

    If you two can not talk about it when you are not having sex then there is no way you should do it! Open communication is so importent if you two ever do enter into the lifestyle. If you have a strong relationship like you say you do then this should not be a problem.
     
  5. Lorea

    Lorea Member

    Also,I wouldn't be so worried about asking her about it and being open...you are asking her about mmf, not the scarier one to ask (ie, ffm)! And enhancer13 is right...if you can't talk about it first, you shouldn't do it! So open up those lines of communication if this is something you really want to do. But...before you do, honestly ask yourself if this is what you want to do, as something like this can never be undone...make sure this is what you really want! the lifestyle requires a special relationship and unique personality types to make it work.
     
  6. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    She may be thinking you're proposing a threesome with another man, but only because you think after that it'll be your turn and you'll want a ffm.

    Talk to her about it and reassure her you're only interested on mfm.
     
  7. RubySoho6

    RubySoho6 Organized Chaos

    I've been dropping hints the hubs about this too. He seemed more excited about the ffm combo but not for him. I was talking about a female celebrity and I called her my "girl crush". He was like "ohh really. Too bad we can't invite her over. I'd like to watch that. I would record it so I could watch it over and over". He didn't even say anything about him doing anything. Just watching. I told him if he could convince her to come visit us I would let him have a go round with her too. haha. When I brought up a mfm scenario it got a little quiet. I understand talking about it in the moment is much different than talking about it when you're not hot at bothered and a completely different thing than acting it out.

    You've dropped plenty of hints. I think its time for you to just ask her. Ask her if she has thought seriously about it at all and what her feelings are. Let her know it is something you would be interested in if its something she is comfortable with. I think a lot of times the other person is more worried about what you will think of them if you admit you want to try something. It sounded like she might be interested at one time so if she knows you are serious about it she may be more open to it. Maybe bring up how you noticed how turned on she was when you first talked about it.
     

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