Did losing your virginity change you in any way?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Fueled by Coffee, Oct 1, 2011.

  1. 6-eyed shaman

    6-eyed shaman Sock-eye salmon

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    Society socially separates people into two groups: virgins and non-virgins. As if there's a huge difference between someone who has had a life experience and someone who has not. It seems that society has us all believe that our perceptions, views, and even our personalities change once we lose our virginity.

    But did losing your virginity change you in any way?

    For me, it didn't really change me that much at all, maybe a little. I was still the same person except now I knew what it felt like and I had more experience. I was sort of dissapointed that it didn't change my personality or boost my confidence and reduce my approach anxiety of strangers. I thought it would have made me more suave and eliminate my rejection fears. But it didn't. I lost it a lot later than most guys. It did cause me to become more relieved that I could finally no longer pretend to be a non virgin while in public, and I was relieved it finally happened so I knew I wouldn't die a virgin. But the best thing that changed of me deep down was that it helped me completely get rid of my PTSD of sexual abuse and assault at an earlier age. Good sexual experiences and being in love with a girl was a great way to cancel out those negative sexual experiences.

    Did losing your virginity change you? If so, how?
     
  2. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    I do feel like I've missed out through not having that life experience. Though that could just be partly because it seems like everyone else is having sex, (or at least, has had it) so I feel a bit left out. I dunno if there's a huge difference between those who have had sex, and those who haven't, but I would say I feel like I can't relate to anyone. Although never having sex is only part of the reason for that. Also, when other people talk to me about sex, it tends to go through one ear and out the other. Cos I don't really care to hear about it.

    I think generally, there probably is a difference in the personality of a virgin compared to a non-virgin, especially in older age groups. Though it is only in general, and probably not an absolute. I think any new experience a person has, it must have an effect on them. To me, that's just plain common sense. It might not change your fundamental personality, but it's still something you've experienced that you hadn't experienced before. So to that end, I think it must alter you to some extent.
     
  3. Shale

    Shale ~

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    It was a milestone for a guy, like graduating HS, getting a drivers license, shaving, fucking a girl. I was on a quest at 19 and paid a Mexican pro to acquire that diploma/license.

    Yeah, I was more confident after graduation. On to the next levels of expanding on that knowledge.
     
  4. WOLF ANGEL

    WOLF ANGEL Senior Member - A Fool on the Hill Lifetime Supporter

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    It was (sadly) that long ago that I can't really recall a "change" in my philosophy, character and/or/of general persona.
    It was with innocence, a degree of naivety though with tender loving care and affection - maybe it made me?
     
  5. skinny.jeans

    skinny.jeans Members

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    The only thing that changed was that I knew I liked it and wanted morrreeee ;)

    ** Sent from my phone using Tapatalk :]
     
  6. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    Well for me I felt more grown up, like I lost my innocence. I was 18 so it was about time lol. But I definitely felt a bit different after. I feel less inadequate and I actually gained confidence in relationships. I used to think id never get someone good who would love me if no one wanted to even fuck me lol now I'm not infatuated by those that do want to fuck me, I have my loving boyfriend for that.
     
  7. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    This to me personally, does make a lot of sense as far as imagining how sex would change you. In a lot of ways, I feel like I had to grow up very quickly. But because I haven't experienced physical intimacy with anyone, there is a part of me that feels like I haven't grown up. Like when people talk about their sexual/relationship experiences to me, I feel a bit stupid and like a little kid because I can't relate to what they're saying.

    I also feel extremely inadequate and think I'll never get a decent bloke to love me, as I feel like if no-one even finds me attractive, how could anyone good possibly love me? So what you said definitely rang some bells with me.
     
  8. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    I felt like that a lot too. People would talk about how good the sex was with their boyfriend and I'd be kind of like..what do I say now?

    But you could still find a guy to love. Anything's possible.
     
  9. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    That is exactly how I feel. When people say stuff like that to me, I have no idea how to respond. It makes me feel very awkward, and makes me want to try and change the subject as soon as possible.

    Well, technically, me going to the moon is also possible, but it's also extremely unlikely...
     
  10. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    You should keep a positive attitude.
     
  11. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    I do try, but it is extremely hard sometimes. :( The older I'm getting and the quicker time seems to be going these days, it just seems less and less likely I'll find someone who will love me. I am quite a bubbly person at times, but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't times when never being loved doesn't really get to me...
     
  12. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    I know what you mean. I've had a few serious relationships, but it hurts a hell of a lot to feel like no one loves you when you have a boyfriend. It made me feel just as alone as I was before I had anyone.
     
  13. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Losing my virginity made me wise before my time.
     
  14. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    Well, there's a difference between being on your own, and feeling alone. And as hurtful as it is for me not having someone to love, (and who loves me) I'd rather be on my own than be with someone who didn't really love me, so I can definitely see what you're saying.
     
  15. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    i got pregnant. :(
     
  16. Jo King

    Jo King wannabe

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    it was just a few seconds of my life, so no
     
  17. Shivaya

    Shivaya Y'a rien de trop beau pour la classe ouvrière.

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    For myself, the change was that I went from being a virgin to not being a virgin
     
  18. LittleKitty

    LittleKitty Member

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    Losing my virginity was a beautiful experience that eventually made me sad and broken (due to the nature of the relationship) but not bitter or regretful. Then I found joy in it with other people and now sex is just wonderful!

    but it definitely made me too wise for my age
     
  19. NadaM

    NadaM Member

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    nope

    you are society in part, live it
     
  20. Bonkai

    Bonkai Later guys

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    I lost it pretty young so it just made me less anxious when sex would come up, physically or through conversation.
     

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