Did I do the right thing?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Stalkz, Jan 15, 2005.

  1. Stalkz

    Stalkz Member

    I'm not so sure.

    I just broke up with my woman yesterday. I still love her.

    I broke up with her because whenever we spend time together, without fail, I end up making her depressed and miserable. She has a thousand complexes and is really big into attention, and is insanely in love with me so no matter what I do I don't meet her expectations and do something that makes her feel terrible.

    She's taking it like it's the worst thing anyone's ever done to her (me breaking up with her), and she won't talk to me anymore. I don't know why we both thought it'd be so easy to be friends afterwards.

    I did it for her, because I was sick of making her feel bad all the time, not because I didn't want to be with her.

    This sucks.
     
  2. At least tell her what you wrote here (not wanting to dissapoint her and maybe that you still love her) and be kind to her.
     
  3. Man i know how you feel, but if it just aint fun anymore then your doin the right thing, who knows you two could always run into each other in the future and things may be different
     
  4. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    Is she looking for someone to make her happy or is she looking for someone to be miserable with?
     
  5. Stalkz

    Stalkz Member

    I hope in a few years we cross paths again and she's matured and we're both more suited for eachother


    I've thought it over myself and decided it's definitely for the best right now.
     
  6. clockworkorangeagain

    clockworkorangeagain femme fatale

    yes i think it is a good decision...and you are awful young at the moment to be in such a strenuously dependant relationship. enjoy time to yourself
    i also think that perhaps she would have weighed you down alot in the end and made you feel depressed yourself
     
  7. Stalkz

    Stalkz Member

    It made me VERY depressed.

    I used to light up with joy when I saw her (and now I do again). After a while I was afraid to even like talk to her online because something horrible would happen and I'd make her feel sad, and inturn, I'd feel horrible for doing it.
     
  8. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    Dude, you are not wrong to break up with a woman who "has a thousand complexes and is really big into attention."

    It sounds like SHE is the one who is maladjusted, with the mental problems, and YOU owe it to YOURSELF to be with someone who is more NORMAL.

    Head-cases and psycho bitches INVITE guys to break up with them. Why should you have to put up with that? It's HER faults that "make" you make her miserable, right?

    If her expectations are out of whack because she is "insanely" anything, then her reactions to the way things are are her fault alone, NOT YOURS.

    You are better off free of her.

    -Jeffrey
     
  9. grim_rebel

    grim_rebel Member

    I think Jeffrey there put it a little harshly.

    I know what you mean. But like that quote goes, "In love and war, nothing should be expected"

    Or along those lines.

    Maybe this will help you out, I read it in a book called, "The Celestine Prophecy". It's paraphrased:

    In relationships today, it is a common mistake for two people to join together and create a single, super-human. This is that feeling you have of being elevated. This is also that feeling you have of being depressed; perhaps when you are not with that person, or when you are but that higher being is being torn apart.

    So it goes on and talks about this human being. But the part that i believe is relevant to you is that ideally, it shouldn't be two people representing one half of the circle each, to join and create one big circle. Because this creates a power struggle over who owns the person. Rather, you should both be two complete people. Flowing like water.

    It sounds like you are more complete than she is. She might be depending on you, on your energy to sustain her. This is not good. Everyone has more than enough energy in them to sustain themselves. Help her out, I don't think it would be proper to break off all contact. She wants to be heard. I think she wants you to help her. I mean, dude, she's your girlfriend! Or was...

    Either way, I guess what i'm trying to say is, cuz we're about the same age, that you should somehow work the situation so that she can stand on her own two feet again. You feelin me? Then you can lean on each other and share the the weight...

    Good luck hommie, no matter what keep ya chin up.
     

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