I've got severe depression and anxiety. I'm medicated and see a psychiatrist from time to time. This'll probably be a rambling post... I get very anxious about taking care of my pets but I think that is a facade for some other deep setting issue that I can't pinpoint. It's a constant feeling that something bad is going to happen. Both my dogs are reactive so controlling them physically also makes me anxious... My mom contracted HIV through blood transfusions back when they didn't screen for it. She is a good mom but she's controlling, conniving, she blackmails me to do things by saying she won't take her medications if I don't etc. she's a horrible wife. She doesn't understand that people have to work to make a living and that family can't be there for her at her whim. I've a MS but I can't find a job. I've been working odd jobs here and there but nothing up to my caliber of education. Not working or working odd jobs adds to the depression and anxiety. It sucks... I guess I wonder; how do others manage their depression and anxiety?
what field is your education in? for me, the best cure for depression and anxiety is to remove any factors that seem to contribute to depression and anxiety. so, while there isn't a whole lot you can do about family issues, finding a real job would probably make you feel a good deal better. of course, that kind of seems too obvious to be helpful anyway, but it's generally the only thing i've found that really helps with those feelings. other than getting drunk, which is just a 4 hour bandaid anyway.
What exactly is it about your pets that you get anxious about, in the care of them? What type of anxiety do you experience? As for the situational things- you've got to look at any given situation and figure out what you can change and how to go about it and then act. What you can't change you need to set aside (maybe set aside a certain amount of time to deal with it) and let it go. And focus on other things- like what is good about life and have a sense of gratitude. Sometimes you have to let go of ppl. or things that you care about but are unhealthy to you to be healthy. With you mom- I don't know her or how your interaction is with her so I can't really say so much. But for instance.. in that situation, I would consider talking to her about how you feel using I statements -(ex:"I feel stressed out and hurt and scared when you act like this...) (never "you" statements).... figure out what you can and cannot realistically do for her and lay those things out in a matter of fact manner to her... "I care about you and I know things suck for you and I want to help you by doing this and this...but this other thing effects me like this.... so I cannot do this anymore and I won't" I deal with my anxiety and blue moods by practicing gratitude. I have so many wonderful things in my life and I take the time daily to appreciate them. I deal with neg. situations that can create anxiety and.or depression by taking action when I can and then letting it go. I let go a lot. And move on. And create things in my life that make me happy. When I get stressed I release my emotions and take time to rest my body and refill my soul. I don't take things too seriously. When I can't change a certain situation I accept it... either on a permanent basis, or more often than not, I remind myself that it is temporary and will get better and things will be okay... and they can be better than okay if I take certain actions. In short, I see the bright side of life, take care of myself, take time to laugh and unwind... and I just take the steps that will make everything turn out well... then when certain things don't turn out well, I know I did all I could and I am at peace. To furthur elaborate I take time to express my gratitude daily. And I never, EVER, allow myself to feel sorry for myself. And I've been thru a LOT of shit all at once. I always know it could be worse and if I feel I'm strong and can handle it, then I can. I allow myself to feel the peace that is available to feel no matter what- it isn't situational. But yea, self pity is a HUUUGE no no to me... it's a really realllly fast way to end up in a depression.
I have dealt with both quite a bit. Drugs and alcohol are not the answer, though they have been for me in the past. Those things will only worsen your depression in the long run. My advice would be to occupy your thoughts and your time with things that matter to you. Try not to get bogged down in negative thought patterns. Of course this is easier said than done, since it still happens to me a lot, but you really need to work on changing your outlook more than anything. Focus on what you have vs. what you don't have. Look at yourself, then look at some others who are less fortunate than you are. Try to put things into perspective whenever possible. Remember that things could always be worse, and that we tend to make things more difficult than they are.
Yep, that's the part he can act on. Which is the best option always. Do something and all else will follow. The letting go part may have to do w the mother and the MS. (although there are options for both of those situations too, but you can't change all of it, or maybe even any of it.)
Booze leads to not giving a shit, going out and meeting people, having fun, getting laid. Therefore an acceptable mode of treatment :2thumbsup: I'm not trying to make light of the situation, but ultimately that's how I beat mine. Making light of it and disregarding it.
Gratitude can be sooo simple too. I am here today.. it's a beautiful day and I'm alive and I don't feel terrible! =) And then just run with that mood... the best way out of negative thinking is positive thinking on what you do have. And one more little silly thing to get happy fast that isn't unhealthy like drugs/drinking... I once heard that you can't be miserable while jumping around...and damn it, it's true. So, I dance a lot.
Yea.. not giving a shit... going out, meeting (terrible) ppl., having fun, throwing up, getting arrested... it doesn't always end well. I'm actually joking but... drinking is fine just to have a drink or drinks but it's usually not a good idea to drink BECAUSE you're depressed or anxious. (you can't really treat depression with a depressant).
I don't drink or do drugs because I'm Muslim... I have a MS in hydrology. Leaving my dogs for short periods of time makes me anxious. At home if they're not in my sight I'm anxious. Dogs are considered unclean in my culture so subjecting my family to them makes me guilty. They don't always listen to me which makes me anxious because what if they get into something and don't listen to me when I ask them to 'leave it'....
Oops, I read that as MS the illness. Nevermind my references to that. Do you live with your family and your dogs? I mean, are you worried about what they'll do to them?
shit, i couldn't even begin to guess how one would go about getting a job as a hydrologist. i guess it could. i agree that it leads to not giving a shit at least. and is usually fun. rarely does it contribute to me going out, meeting people, or getting laid.
That's because I'm retired from all that. Doesn't mean I can't share my secrets. Although, I did go to tpc this weekend and party with a bunch of yuppies (don't ask). Then one of my friends jumped in a pond filled with gators. See, alcohol is fun :sunny:
I have really severe anxiety and honestly I have found that meditation and yoga work wonders... alcohol also helps.
Most of them don't. Try running. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphins#Runner.27s_high Also try to stay away from people that make you feel worse. How long have you been medicating for? I don't know if in your culture people have generally stronger bonds with their families, but I'd say, try to stay more away from them. From what you have described they aren't helping you at all. There is of course guilt of leaving your family, but it is your life, try to spend it as best as possibile. Where do you live? Maybe you could consider moving to the other country and getting fresh start. Such big change of surrounding might be helpfull. Tell us more about your situation if you want. Possibile outcomes to this: - you will feel better when you throw out everything that is bugging you - we might help or suggest something - even if it won't be direct help, you might come up with something when reading other peoples opinions - at worst nothing happens, but at least you tried
