Alright I just need to vent haha~~~~ Ahh... I'm so down lately, I try to act all happy when I talk to friends and my mom just so they don't feel obligated to try and make me feel better. There's nothing they could really do anyways. I'm a single mom and super lonely~~ I live in a small town and there's no like minded folks.... And ever since I had my son I've hated my body, I feel so ugly~~ I know I should embrace it and such but it's so hard when you're inundated with what hot girls are supposed to look like. I don't have anyone to really reinforce any positive thoughts about myself either... And that's another thing haha, I want my soul mate~~ where is he?? I really liked this guy I met on the internet and we've talked just about everyday~ but he's just kinda disappeared this week and that's leaving me with even more doubts about myself.... Blah I'm stuck in a nowhere job, not going to college- I wish my future would brighten up~~ I just don't know what to do I know I want to travel, more than anything, all over the world~~ just take off backpacking~~ live free~ how do I do that with a three year old and no money? I'm just super frustrated... I wanna run away.... not care about my self anymore.... I also just found out I'm having health problems that may lead to cancer and that has me thinking a lot more about my mortality and just living my life the way I want to~~ I could die anytime and I just want to feel somewhat satisfied that I let myself be happy with my life ya know? I just feel this ache in me that's longing for someone to be here and help me get to where I want to be~ someone that will find me attractive even with all my faults and imperfections....someone that'll take me around the world with him and inspire me..... Till then I'm gonna curl up with a book, listen to some sad music, cry my eyes out, and waste away....
take some E and open up. Ive been depressed for weeks and i just rolled yesturday nad now my mind is clear.
haha, that's some great advice~~ I would follow it but I don't do any drugs nowadays besides good ol' alcohol and a rare bit of caffeine...
But if you take too much E it will have the reverse effects.... it'll make you even more depressed than you already are... if you don't believe me talk to any rave veterans.....
Nothing a little bit of herb can't solve, amber. Maybe you're against it, but I can't imagine why you would be, unless you actually believe the government's lies. =P
yeah maybe it might sooth her pain but i think the problem seems much deeper, from what you wrote you sound like a respectable and responsible woman.
amber~ i cant say i know how you feel, bc im not a single mother. but i can tell you i know what its like to be completely and utterly DOWN in the dumps. of course i'm loads better these days BUT... every picture and post i have seen by you has been absolutley gorgeous and genuinly sweet. you seem like a strong woman...i mean c'mon, a single working mother! give yourself some credit i know its not necessarily what you would like to be doing, but youre selflessly doing it for your beautiful son and that makes you special. and as for your soul mate....you know he's out there. you're still young blahh its SO hard to be patient though, i know! anyways this is just what i have to say to you in a nutshell but you can always contact me if you needa talk/vent. i understand fustrations totally. i've been having many myself lately. just remember that you are B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!! seriously. melissa
I hope you are also feeling better amber, i know what it feels like to be unhappy and stuck in it, and feel like you have no options. but you do, do you have many friends or family? talk to them and see what they can say about it people often think of things that you wouldn't in the state your in. or try seeing a councillor. I think herbal remedies (not pot) would be of better use than drugs. even changing your diet can make differences to your life. Meditate, try and be positive. to others: why is everyone responding to a problem by saying take drugs? the PROBLEM with drugs is that people use it as a solution to a problem when its not.
DON"T USE DRUGS TO KICK DEPRESSION THEY DONT WORK. they just f*ck up your brain chemistry more. You say you just had a baby. I'd recomend going to see a DOCTOR. Beware some shrinks are cool and some aren't If you don't like the first one, immeadiatly find a new one.
I'm glad to hear that hun. Now that you've realized something is missing, you can get on with finding it. .. of course you'll find that it's right where you started but anyway, every part of the process is vital. about the drugs and psychiatrist stuff. don't go see a psychiatrist. They'll give you drugs. The effects of drugs like pot and E depend on the person and situation, and, yes they could both drastically change your life--for better or for worse. Whatever you do, I suggest that you don't take anti-depressants. You'll become dependant on them and then where the hell (hell=operative word) will you be. I suggest a gentle approach to living day by day. Meditation. Check out the meditation and yoga forum here. Once you change what's inside, things will inevitably change on the outside, and meditation is a good way to start. I wish you all the joy and ease you can stand
thanks for the advice guys I definately don't think drugs are the answer for me. I just started doing yoga and I'm finding that quite relaxing/getting more in tune with myself. I think my main problem is just being lonely I want my soulmate haha....
success in anything, be it career or love, requires 2 things, hard work and luck. now you would hate for that luck to come around on a day that youre not working hard. just stick to what you need to do, dotn worry about things out of your control, and things will fall into place. if they dotn right away, it will only make you a stronger happier person in the long run.
If you are with yourself, in the moment, you cannot be lonely. Once you can be with yourself you will be ready for a soulmate. If you can't be with yourself when you're by yourself, when you're with someone you'll abandon yourself as usual, and you--your mind, body etc. will complain and be unhappy. Thus your potential soulmate will be no more than another projection of yourself.
ahh... easier said than done... I'm getting worse, this sucks. It's been three days~~ no one has called me ... I can't stop crying.... I'm really not enjoying my life at the moment~~ i wish someone would come rescue me. I've got to get out of this horrible rut in my life and I just don't know how... I feel so fucking stupid, I hate myself more and more each day.
Stupid? Your the least to be called stupid, believe me I have seen the face of stupidity - since I look at the mirror every day- ^^ Excuse my bad humour but you shouldn't hate your self, you have a child, thats a great blessing which some people never will get to experience. Correct striving, patience and trust solves economical issues, missing one these features makes the deal quite futile.
