I just got a call from a friend, informing us that our friend and her son(6), who is our daughters' best friend, just died in a car wreck. She, her sister and son all died, and the fiancee lived. The baby lived long enough for him to make it to the hospital and for them to open him up. Have any of you experienced this? What did you tell your child? I am supposed to teach his class on Sunday. sandpedlar
So sorry to hear that.. So tragic and terrible. I believe that children are human too, and deserve to know the truth. Just tell the child in "nice" words what happened, and letting them in on the emotional side of death is unfortunately just part of life, and we all have to do it. I wish your friend's family all the condolences. Good luck.
I don't have any experience with that yet thankfully, but I just wanted to offer my condolences. That's just horrible...
I, too, have never exerienced anything like that, but I'm very sorry to hear this. I think that telling your daughter in a real, but gentle way would be the best thing.....
I once read that average children up until 12 have no real understanding of death, but it is very important to tell them what has happened anyway. Be sensible. They have their own way of mourning.
average children know when pieces of their life are gone, and they need support from those they depend upon. definately chat with a counselor for the class-- have her/him avaialble whenever the kids need to talk. I'd be concise with the class: "Jon, Jon's mother and aunt (add relation of baby) were in a bad car accident. they died form their injuries and we will miss them. The counselor is here to talk to anyone about what happened. Does anyone want to share a nice story about Jon?" Maybe make condolence cards. My son's class did this for his grandfather's passing. and it really helped.
Thanks, all. We told Ivy,6, and our 4 year old this morning, and it went much better than we expected. We explained, finally, that Adrian's body stayed on the earth when he died, but that we wouldn't be able to see him anymore. We assured her that he didn't go to a "bad" place or anything like that, and the girls reacted pretty positively. wow. They talked for a little about the things they liked about Adrian and Shannon and said that they would miss them, and that was it. We'll see how it goes from here. Thanks again.
Aw, how awful. An entire family gone. This just makes me cry. I think druminmama's advice is so great. This is the best way to handle it. Children may not "understand" death, but they realize that they will not see someone they know and love anymore. The hardest part about being a teacher in this situation is the Spirtual Aspect. Kids will ask "What happens to them after they die?" Saying that a part of them are safe and warm, and asking the child to maybe discuss this with parents is best, only you know, too many parents don't bother to ever talk to their kids. Using the Conselor is useful for this. Blessings to your family, and those who have passed on.
