"A strange tale", dated 2 October 2007. Further to this. if people follow my example and stop responding to the work of others, the Writers' Forum will die, but very slowly.
I'm not a writer and I only read your story once through, but I didn't like it. It didn't seem to go anywhere and I didn't understand the whole thing about "metal boxes." Perhaps I should re-read it. Well thats my opinion and you asked so good luck. =P
Farley Mowat wrote a couple of early novels such as "Snow Walker" and "People of the Deer" in which he emphasized the total culture shock faced by northern aboriginal peoples due to white technology. He was writing in the 1950's. Fifty years later, most northern peoples have come to grips with technology, more or less, so that the absolute unfamiliarity with metal boxes (computers), metal birds (airplanes) and metal horses (cars) no longer exists, and use of these terms is comical. So, when I put my own story (refusal of US military service and emigration to Canada) in this type of language, the result is comical, but with a little work on the part of the reader, the story still comes through. It is not intended to disparage native people. It is also intended to reveal the military draft for what it was -- kidnapping by gangsters and extortionists pursuing their own murderous ends.
Well, I just read your story and left you a few words there. Now I understand what you meant with the metal birds and metal horses, due to this post, thank you. Interesting piece of writing.
Good thread and good post above. I'm guilty of reading and not leaving comments also. I find that I don't feel comfortable giving critique 'cause I'm a "dabbler" and not a writer. I should, however, leave a note if I enjoyed the read. Will do so from now on. I really got a kick out of your detective story, "Trouble," by the way.
i was not a member here back in october. i did not know of your short story. i will read it and give you my review.
"A Strange Tale" succeeded only in mystifying or confusing its readers until I put in the preface. Since then, those who have responded seem to think it's good, but still a little hard to follow. As I mentioned in a later post on the "Strange Tale" thread, the story is reminiscent of "The Gods Must Be Crazy", a comedy movie in which Kalahari bushmen interact with twentieth century culture. I'm trying to portray how a person from a Neolithic culture might interpret my life story.
