long story short, i've reached a point in my life where i would like to start dating men. up to this point i've only dated women and my question for all of you is are any of you in a similar point? do you want to start dating men as well? and for you guys who have dated men; in your experience, is there a big difference between dating men vs. dating women? like i said, i've never dated men but i can imagine there being some pretty big differences. for example, i can imagine dating guys could feel like I'm in an equal relationship, were we both actively work to make the other person happy. dating girls makes me feel like I'm actively the one trying to impress her, and as if they are comparing me to their other options. Dating girls definitely feels like there is more pressure to always be 'on', know what i mean? any thoughts on this?
None of the guys I have chatted online with, refer to it as dating. They meet up for mutual pleasure if it suits and if it doesn't suit that time, they meet some other time. It's all centred around the groin area, not the brain, as far as I can tell.
If you think that dating women can be a major pain, so can dating men since, in my opinion, there's no real difference since in either situation, you have to "court" and "woo" them and convince them that dating you - and all that comes with what this means - is going to be in their best interest. Would it be an equal relationship? I... doubt that since a relationship should be based upon equity, not equality. Personally, as much as I like dick, I wouldn't date a man and more so when dating, as I've been told, is a prelude to a relationship and I have no interest in being in a relationship with a guy (again - been there, done that already). I come from a time where men did not ever date other men; we hung out, hooked up, go grab lunch together or hit a local watering hole for a drink or two and don't you dare call it a date - or even think that it is. Times change; guys want to date men but aren't sure how to go about doing it and the answer is... how would you go about dating a woman? Just don't assume that because you want to date that other men want to - dating has some very serious implications; you still have to impress the other guy and, again, convince him that being with you isn't going to be a bad thing; you wine and dine him, probably invoke the "no sex on the first date" rule and won't even consider it until the third date and dating guys does not mean there will be no pressure to always be on. Your biggest challenge in this is finding a guy who wants to be dated. It's my opinion that if you go about dating guys like it's different from dating women, you're going to have problems because dating is dating, and the only real difference is the person you're trying to date - and that's what you should pay the most attention to - who he is as a person and not the obvious fact that he's a guy. And just like you'd have to do with a woman, you'd better bring your A game since you only get one chance to make a good first impression.
that's fine. i can understand guys not wanting to refer to it as 'dating', especially if there is no romantic component. i could go for more of a friends with benefits type thing as well. or maybe something that's a bit more than just friendship but less than it being romantic, if that makes sense.
Dating is more for establishing a bonding and emotional relationship IMHO. I can't imagine myself ever dating a guy. I'd like to have a friendship where we hang out together (no pun), share some common activities and find some privacy to have sex. Nothing deeper than that.
like i said, that's fine. in fact i'm not 100% sure what i want myself. although i know i don't want random hook ups
Random hookups are like playing russian roulette with ones health. I think some guys here play with a large capacity magazine, lol.
A. Male + Female: 01) Gender-typical Male + Gender-typical Female The much-discussed standard combination. The male is looking for a soft, warm pillow that caresses him and reads his every wish in his eyes. Females are looking for male confidence. This is a code word for pleasant, relieving dominance that leads to positive life outcomes, including financial ones (→ Hypergamy). Even if marriage and children are not in the foreground, it should be remembered that this may only reflect their well-known deterrent effect. 02) Gender-typical Male + Gender-atypical (= more masculine) Female Greater similarity means easier understanding and fewer emotional rollercoasters, but also less feminine exoticism with much romance and generous validation. This is also a good combination for uncomplicated extramarital copulation in the case of low Conscientiousness scores. 03) Gender-atypical (= more feminine) Male + Gender-typical Female This is usually a male uphill battle. Most females prefer gender-typical males, even if they understand them less and are less agreeable. However, some extraverted females find this combination ideal because assertiveness is a facet of extraversion, so an extraverted and gender-typical male would be too much for them. 04) Gender-atypical (= more feminine) Male + Gender-atypical (= more masculine) Female Gender-atypical females are usually even less enthusiastic about gender-atypical males than gender-typical females. They are less neurotic (= less negative emotions) and usually do not tolerate emotional rollercoasters. On the other hand, there are some gender-atypical females who find their desired complement in such a male, and they simply take on the traditional male role, even during the dating process, to everyone’s satisfaction. B. Male + Male: No matter what males say, they are primarily interested in sex, while females are primarily interested in relationships. 05) Gender-typical Male + Gender-typical Male On the one hand, communication is unproblematic, as both are factual and relatively straightforward, but on the other hand, they find it difficult to talk about their feelings and their more hidden desires. As they are both dominant males, they are in competition with each other rather than complementing each other. Gender-typical males may also have the problem that no-one would think that they have homosexual interests, and even then not expect them to be pure bottoms, for example. 06) Gender-typical Male + Gender-atypical (= more feminine) Male As you might expect from the above, a good combination. Experience with females is most welcome in order to overcome any problems that arise. After some initial disappointment, one has to admit that these males have many positive traits that one misses in ordinary men. In this respect, they are a good alternative to women. They are also more sexually open, and you are freed from the issues of marriage and children, at least with young men. There is more equality among males, which makes the search more enjoyable. But unlike females, they are not in a hurry, and as exciting sexuality is in the foreground, there is a constant coming and going. If you have a low frustration tolerance, if you are looking for a long-term relationship, you are better off with females. Most gays are single most of the time, I would say. 07) Gender-atypical (= more feminine) Male + Gender-atypical (= more feminine) Male Are two inverts a good combination? Havelock Ellis: Studies in the Psychology of Sex Vol. 2: Sexual Inversion. Third ed., revised and enlarged, 1929 HTML: Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2 Sexual Inversion (Mobi: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13611) CHAPTER III. SEXUAL INVERSION IN MEN Relatively Undifferentiated State of the Sexual Impulse in Early Life—The Freudian View—Homosexuality in Schools—The Question of Acquired Homosexuality—Latent Inversion—Retarded Inversion—Bisexuality—The Question of the Invert's Truthfulness—Histories. … The histories which follow have been obtained in various ways, and are of varying degrees of value. Some are of persons whom I have known very well for very long periods, and concerning whom I can speak very positively. A few are from complete strangers whose good faith, however, I judge from internal evidence that I am able to accept. Two or three were written by persons who—though educated, in one case a journalist—had never heard of inversion, and imagined that their own homosexual feelings were absolutely unique in the world. A fair number were written by persons whom I do not myself know, but who are well known to others in whose judgment I feel confidence. Perhaps the largest number are concerned with individuals who wrote to me spontaneously in the first place, and whom I have at intervals seen or heard from since, in some cases during a very long period, so that I have slowly been able to fill in their histories, although the narratives, as finally completed, may have the air of being written down at a single sitting. I have not admitted any narrative which I do not feel that I am entitled to regard as a substantially accurate statement of the facts, although allowance must occasionally be made for the emotional coloring of these facts, the invert sometimes cherishing too high an opinion, and sometimes too low an opinion, of his own personality. (Read Histories 1 to 33) Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2 Sexual Inversion CHAPTER IV. SEXUAL INVERSION IN WOMEN Prevalence of Sexual Inversion Among Women—Among Women of Ability—Among the Lower Races—Temporary Homosexuality in Schools, etc.—Histories—Physical and Psychic Characteristics of Inverted Women—The Modern Development of Homosexuality Among Women. (Read Histories 34 to 39) Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2 Sexual Inversion C. Female + Female: 08) Gender-typical Female + Gender-typical Female 09) Gender-typical Female + Gender-atypical (= more masculine) Female 10) Gender-atypical (= more masculine) Female + Gender-atypical (= more masculine) Female
Before I was married I would go all out to impress on a date with a woman. I wanted to show her I was worthy of whatever we might evolve into while I got to know her. With guys, I never really dated. It's just a quick meet to see if he's cool and then into bed. He might not like me and maybe I won't be his biggest fan but I overlook stuff when I just want a dude for some gratifying sex. I guess the audition is when I'm showing him how good I can make him feel instead of the audition I go through with a woman showing her who I am.
