dating, sex random blah blah

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by kurona, Sep 30, 2013.

  1. kurona

    kurona Member

    Just your random thoughts on dating?

    I live in los angeles cali.

    I just started dating here a year ago really. Prior, my old hypocritical conservative country - somewhere in asia.

    What I've observed here is that there's so much sex. Someone even told me, everyone fucks first. If you enjoyed that part, then you go and watch a movie or have coffee. Its like the other way around! hahahaha

    I know that is an extreme line but sometimes it does seem that way.

    People also make the effort to keep relationships that way - casual. People also cant seem to be comfortable talking about anything more, that like youre an alien species if youre interested in such and its NOT cool. hahahahhaha

    I do wonder, why it is so. Is it more efficient/effective?

    What bout you? What do you think of dating nowadays?
  2. usedtobehoney

    usedtobehoney Senior Member

    Well, you live in the land of the superficial, transient, detached, manipulative, nothing's ever good enough...that's the city you live in.

    While you can find people like that everywhere, it's more likely in L.A. It doesn't matter though what other people are like, if you have your own standards, you'll attract people with those same standards too. A lot of people live/date that way not because they want to, but because they feel they have no choice, because it's so prevalent.

    It depends on how much effort you want to put into it. Following the leader is the easy, lazy way in the dating scene.
  3. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    where the climate is cooler, people tend to date and stay together longer.. The pace is to fast in LA.. so youre going to get an LA WOMAN..
    dont wanna buy it, just wanna use it for an hour or two.."]Grateful Dead - West L.A. Fadeaway (Studio Version) - YouTube
  4. kurona

    kurona Member

    Ive never tried dating anywhere else outside of LA though. I tried to date an illinois guy, he was really nice but... its not easy to have to fly there -_-

    Whats it like in your areas?

    Thats what it seems here I guess. too fast in and too fast out hahahahaha

    I will admit ive gotten tired of it now. it can get boring actually
  5. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    Im in a ltr going on 2 years now..
  6. kurona

    kurona Member


    my longest here was 1 year. where i came from it was 8 years and 3 years...
  7. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    I think it all depends on the individual rather than the regional thing..... But at the same time, I guess the cultural aspect also has at least a little bit to do with the way people perceive relationships/dating, too.

    I can kind of relate to you, Kurona, in terms of the regional arrangement but the other way around sort of. My own culture is conservative in one way, but it's a weird one really. And then my "hometown" is a total chillville in many ways. I've dated two girls in my "hometown"(really not my hometown, but rather the place I feel most comfortable in), and then also dated two American girls online. Now I'm in a long distance relationship with a European girl. Never been happier.
  8. kurona

    kurona Member

    theres a european girl who seems to be really into me and we dont have a conflict of interest..., but I cant do the distance. if only people are closer... I do meet them y know... they just... live hundreds if not thousands of miles away!!!!!!!!

    sad coz i really kinda like this place. theres something for everyone... except for em that maybe... -_-
  9. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

    I'm going to preface this with the fact that I don't like LA energy. I barely can take northern cal.

    You are talking about a few factors: the us as a more libertine society, LA being VERY libertine (and shallow, transient et al as said usedtobehoney), and a great fear of investing one's self.

    What do you want out of dating? Are you looking for long term? Are you looking for a companion to hang out with? What venues for dating have you tried? What's your approximate age and place in life?

    The pat US advice is find people with your interests. Clubs, activities, politics, music, etc.
    There's something valuable to it.
  10. MeatyMushroom

    MeatyMushroom Juggle Tings Proppuh

    Sex comes first probably cos of the 2litres of vodka at the nightclub the night before, then they go for coffee on the hangover. And it's probably more "casual" cos every motherfucker is so self conscious that they're afraid to actually give themselves away to someone else.

    I need to get on the scene though... I've been festering in my own head for the past 6 months... just sick of the superficial type - not my vibe at all. Less of that kinda person down here than in the UK, I just can't seem to find them :(
  11. kurona

    kurona Member

    Ive made peace with this place already. I am more curious though on how it is like for others, how the dating life is in their areas, curiosity.

    the idea of going for your interests, that is circumstancial/relative and can sometimes actually yield the opposite

    people dont like chains sometimes. sometimes, i wonder what is the line between being greedy and just being free to get as much as you want
  12. His Eden

    His Eden Queen of Mean

    I grew up in So Cal, and lived in the LA area and was married to a man from there for almost 10 years. I would say, generally speaking, that dating has become more superficial...rather than it being an L.A thing. I know people from the Midwest who don't last more than a month or two, and people from L.A. who have been together for many years. I do think that you are more likely to find people who don't want to have a long relationship in more populated cities...simply because there are more options.
  13. RIPTIDE59

    RIPTIDE59 Banned

    I don't think venue has much to do with it. Once you get north of say 45 , I would say it's all about the orgasm. Establish sexual chemistry ASAP. I estimate , at my age, (55) about half the population , male and female are incapable. Through bad lifestyle choices or just plain too much booze about half the folks my age are sexually done. Is that something you would be interested in? All right then ; let's find out ASAP what we are dealing with here.

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