Damnit I want a baby

Yeah, I've been married 7 months tomorrow! And, I've been in India 7 months TODAY. Yay for me. But, I think India has really messed up my female parts. My period is all wacky. Sometimes coming a week or more late. Once it came 2 weeks early, bled lightly for two days, stopped. Came again normally 3 weeks after that. This time around, it started 5 days early, I'd guess.

BUT I really want a baby. Another thing is I've been losing weight. I'm very overweight but I've dropped like 40 pounds last time I checked. This might also be why I'm not getting pregnant.

My greatest fear has always been that I won't be able to have children. Husband says wait til we've been married a year and then we'll get checked out if I'm still not pregnant.

There are sooo many babies here though and I can't stop staring at them and trying to "steal" them (just to cuddle) but when I do cuddle them I feel super sad cos I don't have my own baby.

 

Just wait..it'll happen when the time is right. Also you should go get yourself checked out.

 

You're young, and the one year anniversary is only five months away correct? Just keep practicing and practicing, and practicing...

 

It'll happen when the time is right, and you do still have loads of time. Until then just enjoy being together as a couple and getting plenty of practise. Good luck

 

I'd say the whackiness is normal. But after your weight and life stablilize, if your periods have not, see a doc. It could be any number of things.

 

From my observations, this whole "I WANT A BABY!" craze affects a lot of girls I know, 19-22 years old. I think it's just a phase, perhaps. Not insinuating that you don't want a baby. But I've just noticed that.

If you're not sure about your cycles, you should try regulating them with the pill and THEN try to get pregnant, rather than have very unreliable cycles where it would be harder to get pregnant because you're not sure of ovulation, etc.

 

Um. regulating your periods by using the pill in order to get pregnant is a very bad idea.

If you go on the pill, and then off of it, it can sometimes take up to a year before you get your period again.

Not the best idea.

 

i was going to say the same thing.

 

I'm just going to chill out and wait. I'm 19.. even if it takes several years to get pregnant, so be it. I want a baby, but I also realize that I have plenty of time.

That said, I really really hope I have a baby soon. My snobby, always showing off sister in law just got married. If SHE has the first son in the family, then damnit, it won't be fair. I was married first AND my husband (her brother) is the eldest son in the entire family.. out of 26 cousins, he is the eldest and everyone expects me to have a baby soon and preferably a boy. No one has TOLD me this, I just feel it. And my husband's family doesn't "prefer" boys, there are much more girls in his family than boys, maybe 7 boys out of 26 cousins. I can't be bothered to count. But I know I'd earn extra respect/whatever if I have the first son.

How childish does that sound? I really don't feel that way. Actually I do, but no one can understand it unless they live in an Indian family, hehe. The aunties and my husbands grandma ask every month if I am pregnant yet.

But yeah, I decided not to worry too much. I'm just focusing on spending time with my husband, because everything will change after a baby comes.

 

try to get rid of all that pressure to be getting pregnant, and to getting a son. This is in no way good for your wishes. Pressure made no one pregnant. Enjoy your life!

 

Um...

If you have a healthy baby who hopefully grows up to also be healthy and happy, then you're lucky.

Life isn't fair. Grow up and appreciate your marriage and the marriage of your loved ones. It would be fair of you if you did.

 

Anta Scene Ledu le Amma


I don't think India has anything to do with your wacked biology. Go to your local gyno, she will give you better advice than people on the internet on how to get pregnant fast.

Oh yea, stop eating anything spicy, like curry puffs, samosas and what not. Stop drinking tea also... once you get pregnant.

 

I don't understand why it is so important to have a boy. I would just want a healthy baby. You are young and have lots of exploring to do yourself, so just relax and let life guide you.

 

INDIAN MENTALITY: Boys stay at home with your family and stay with you forever.

Girls are married off and they go to another family, they are another family's 'amaanat'

Even my own mother went to various temples, religious sites and holy people to pray that her next child has to be a son and as a matter of fact some one great .

 

That's a lot to ask from a tiny cell.

 

I know right...

 

I don't exactly blame INDIA, I blame extreme climate change for messing up from cycles. When I left Oregon, it was like 10 degrees C. When I arrived in India, it was 43+ EVERYDAY (South India, I arrived in April) Where I'm from, it rarely rarely gets above 26 degrees, honestly. I was told by a doctor that this would definately explain my wonky cycles.

Secondly, dietary changes, physical activity changes, more stress, etc, certainly contribute to it. Don't worry, I'm not insulting Mother India

 

Sorry - where did I say I don't appreciate my marriage? That is insane to say. My husband and I care ONLY about having a baby. Boy or girl, it doesn't matter. I am only saying on SOME level, if I have a son, then my IN-LAWS will be happier. I have always wanted girls.

Some people read WAY too much into simple posts.

I assume Jedi is Indian, so he can (maybe) understand where I am coming from. I am American, married into an Indian family. Don't hate on me because of the culture.

 

Chai, I understand totally what you mean about India messing up your cycle. When I moved to SE Asia from Saskatchewan I didn't get my period for just over 10 months! I totally get that its not the "country of India", but its the Indian weather, altitude, diet and latitude/longitude that does it. It would be the same for an Indian woman moving to Oregon.

My cycle eventually went back to normal... it takes longer for some women than others, and some women it doesn't seem to outwardly effect at all. One of my travelling buddy's never missed a cycle.

Hang in there and it will all work out!