So, me and my ex (the father of on of youngest child) have been split up for the past year and a half, we still live together and sometimes have sexual relations. He is in love with someone else who doesn't seem to love him and has actually only met once in his life. We had talked about possibly working it out if they do not work out or actually get together. He claims it's because he is scared that if we try it again we it isn't going to work and he is going to miss out on this opportunity with this girl. I really don't know what to think about this situation. Everyday it's a painful thing. Part of me does not want him around and the other part wants us to stay living together because I haven't let go. We don't cuddle or date and I miss having that. Most my life I have been in a relationship and now I'm not in one, but at the same time I really can't be in one because he is still living with me. I'm in limbo. I have no idea what I should do at this point to help myself out emotionally. If anyone can help please do.
Perhaps it's time for one of you to leave the house? You mentioned you've been in a relationship most of your life. Maybe it's time for you to learn how to be in a relationship with yourself again. But I think it will be very difficult for you to do that if you're living with someone who you partly want and partly don't want, and who in turn wants to be with another.
I agree with above people. It is not healthy for you and your kids to live like that. If he told you that about not dating you because he might miss out of the other girl. I said Ditch the guy. You deserve better then him and so does your kids. You should be happy. Living like that is not healthy for either one of you. Life is to short. Hope it works out the way you want.. Just remember your kids always comes first.
He's put the mother of his child on hold because he "loves" a woman that he's met only once??? Its important for your kid to have his/her(?) father in his/her life. But, is he doing father things? (Not mentioned in the posts.) I recommend an ultimatum. He needs to 1) Dump the fantasy about the other woman and commit to the three of you becoming a family. 2) Come with you to counseling. A woman who will put up with that shit (i.e. the OP) has issues that need to be dealt with. The counseling is not to "fix" him, its not to "fix" the OP, its to help two people form the adult part of a family. Absent either of those, the OP needs to get on with life away from this guy.
He does do the father things that he should do, we're almost like friends raising a family I guess. Everyone says it seems like we are together in public, but I don't see it. I guess counciling is a good option, but I don't trust councilors.
you know, dammit, sometimes these things just don't work out. people can't help the way they feel and what they want from life. first an foremost, consider the child. SECONDLY, and i can't stress that enough, fix up the particulars of the living situation. as long as both of you are willing to put the child about petty differences, bruised hearts, lonely bodies and irritating habits, things tend to work out for the best.
It's crazy when someone is chasing a false hope. He's also my best friend, and from that point of view I hate to seem him get crushed because of it... and he hates thinking that I may start dating, so I don't know if I should just move out and go on without him or what the hell to do.
so he hates that you may start dating, when he is supposedly in "love" with another woman? that's BS. and you need to get over it. yeah it may be a little hard for you, but hey that's life. For no just worry about yourself and your child. ..... ohh and false hopes suck ass :/
That's what I thought I should do too... just go our seperate ways... I don't know. For some reason I can't bring myself to let go. I want to, but I don't want to. I JUST HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WANT... to be honest, or if being sad and alone is worth it.
You seem dependent on having a guy in your life (like so many other women). You two should not be living together...You are taking second best..he is in love with someone else and you are allowing yourself to be used and cheated on mentally and emotionally. Please grow up soon and become a woman because your actions are a reflection of a young immature minded little girl. Your life is going to be a living wreck if you let this continue.
You are the mother of his child! he is bang out of order,what a selfish man if he is your best friend then you need to find new friends who show some degree of care for you and your emotional state.My advice is get rid and move on and dont stop to consider his emotions because he clearly isn't concerned for yours...keepitreal.good luck<
I've never looked at if from that aspect... yea. I need to do something. I can't keep letting this take over my life...
Ive been in a similar situation so I know how it takes over,it is so unhealthy for you.Being on your own can be hard too,I became a single parent when my daughters were 3 and 5 yrs old... The situation you are in must be very upsetting for you,im sure you try not to let that show because you have to keep things together so that you can look after your baby but you need to be emotionaly stable to give the best to your child and he is preventing you from having that stability.Show him the door give him the boot,enough is enough,claim back your right to be happy and enjoy looking after your baby.
Never make anyone a priority in your life while only being an option in theirs! You are missing any oprotunity to meet the right man as long as you keep him around.
umm sigh ummm thats a toughy i say kick him the balls tell him to get his priorities straight same for u just u have no balls. if he is stuck on this"fantasy" person find her and kick her ass or get them to gather what ever brings the decision faster, couse its is not fair to u to missout in a possible relation u may have with some one else idk its a toughy as long as the child is being raised well then i say what ever u two decised is ok the kid is the important factor. ( y im never having kids saw what my siplings and i did to them and heheh well i dont want that lol)
