Hello name is Mike recently went thru a separation been separated for a year going thru the stages of divorce now I met someone she's really a awesome person we seem to connect on every level except sex as of late. She moved in with me everything was going great and then it's like the well tried up. Didn't know it beforehand but she has some psychological issues ptsd anxiety things of that nature and she's on a good bit of meds for it. I am very active sexually and sometimes I think maybe I ask to much I hate asking for it but it just doesn't happen then when u ask for it it feels like it's just a chore to her. Help me please. I am so happy with her in every way but the bedroom. What am I doing wrong am I asking to much Thanks for taking the time to read my post.
A lot of guys fail to realize that a woman's sexual desires are part of her natural cycle of reproduction, rather than just a leisure pastime. For a few days out of 28, these desires will be very high. For most of the rest or the time they will be a lot lower and on a few days a;most non existent. Any hormone imbalance will accentuate the changes far more. Without discussion and understanding, things can go badly wrong between you. Particularly if you arrange a romantic evening on the wrong day and fail to understand her disinterest in sex, then take it all as a personal rejection. Just talk, talk and talk again until you understand yourself and each other. While it is obvious to me, even some girls fail to understand the difference that their cycle makes to their PHYSICAL attraction to their partner. This can easily ruin an otherwise good relationship. PS, I am sorry that I am not following your request for an answer from a female member, but Jane has suffered from hormone imbalance for most of our 39 years of marriage and it need not be a problem. Needless to say, it may be affected if your girlfriend is on medication, but hopefully a good relationship with you will allow her to cut the medication down. LOL.
I see nothing in the OP about her sexual needs; just his own. Might be why she sees it as a chore right there...
If some of these guys worked on a farm, they would put the bull in the cow-field on the wrong day. Watching them trying to entice the frustrated bull back out again would be endless fun.
No she has no issue there she will climax in a minute she's more then satisfied But thanks for the thoughts
Mike, the only solution is to talk to her. Talk about it until you find a solution.It will be difficult but you have to understand that it's not her fault for not having libido and it's not your fault for having one. I see 3 solutions here. For her stop taking her meds (only after talking with her doctor), make your relationship open or break up. An open relationship is a very difficult thing and if ever you decide to take this road you should read first as many things you can about it. You should know it takes a lot of trust and love to succeed in this.
I'm going to give you the advice you need to hear, not what you want to hear. You don't need to be discussing this with us. you should be discussing it with her. Period. And you need to be asking her what you can do to entice her more, engage her willingness. For women, if you want to get into bed, first you have to get into her head, because for a woman, it's as much psychological as it is physical. and if you don't engage her mind first, she can go from soaking wet to dry as the Sahara like (snap). Foreplay is a must, and not just the day of. Best advice I ever got for keeping a woman interested was this 'Foreplay starts immediately after her previous orgasm. She's like a steam locomotive. If you let her get cold, you have to start trying to warm the whole boiler up all over again.' and if you're not seeing to her needs, staying in her head and making her feel wanted, desired and loved, she's gonna get real cold /real fast/.
Then why are you asking if you are sure? Out of the frying pan straight into the fire? Not even divorced yet and straight into the next LTR???? "Help me please. I am so happy with her in every way but the bedroom" - well, then you are not happy in every way, and why are you asking for help??? There is no help for you, you secretly love being a chump
Suprise her with small tokens of affection a rose a small candle light dinners. let her know from the heart that she is special and loved it will revive her interest in you treat her like a queen in bed show her don't tell her you love her action speak louder then words best of luck power to your love
Here is another woman’s opinion. Leave her now because you are always going to be unsatisfied in that area. Having mental issues and on meds is not going to change so her sexual appetite will not change. Since you just got out of an unhappy marriage I don’t think starting off a new relationship unhappy already is promising.
Was she on meds before she moved in, though? If so, and sex was great, what changed after she moved in? And agree with Vanilla - you moved way too fast with this relationship. It's better to take your time to get to know someone, than rush.
MUST sit and talk, period. Ask her up front, will sex be a continuing problem in our lives? How do we solve this? Let's go to counciling. Two unhappy people make a teiiible team. Don't make it another divorce situation.
