"Constructive Criticism"

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by osiris, May 17, 2004.

  1. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    If I were to say to you,
    from the bottom of my heart,
    I Love You, would you
    just say it's too "cliche",
    that I could do better?

    If you had fallen down,
    and I were to reach out
    and offer my callused hand,
    would you shake your head
    in dismay at my display
    because
    I did it the wrong way?

    *cue laughter*

    much love :)
     
  2. lemontwistedmind

    lemontwistedmind Member

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    Wow...that's amazing *grins* omg, so witty...that's all i can manage to say ..i believe the rest speaks for itself...wonderful! :)
     
  3. VanAstral

    VanAstral Member

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    it seems as though people looking for CC need it least.

    nice
     
  4. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    i thought this warranted a bump from the graveyard. a reiteration of a point i've made many times.


    much love :)
     
  5. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    Your interactive compassion is beautiful.
    You are familiar.

    Much love to you.
     
  6. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    BRAVO!!!!!!!! I LOVE THISSS!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! KICK ASSS!! WOOOO!

    *coughs*

    :H
     
  7. rainbow dew

    rainbow dew Member

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    i love you bro, is that enough?

    *hugs*
    namaste
    x x x

    ps how is the wonderful pheonix?
     
  8. littleskinny

    littleskinny Member

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    *smiles*


    Likey likey, my friend!
     
  9. mebesideme

    mebesideme Member

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    lol, that is awesome. Made me smile.
     
  10. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    In the mist-shrouded night, amongst the lichen-covered gravestones, I heard a spirit whisper, and gave way to its beckoning.

    eMBeMLaHV! :)
     
  11. StickyPoohy

    StickyPoohy Member

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    Glad you did! I hadn't caught up with this one...
    Seems alive to me!


    S.
     
  12. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    Brow-beaten and scorned, the faintest glimmer of a dying light struggles to regenerate itself. It will be killed out, ruthlessly, at the leisure of the sycophant, there is no doubt, but, its death being merely an appearance, it will remain forever alive. ​


    He picked me up and I thanked him by spitting in his face. He poured out his love and I wasted him away with idle talk. There was no embrace; and now his bones have crumbled to dust; with unsatiated lust I gather it in my hands and spread it to the wind. Like acorns and oak trees, but on a plane far more subtle, he shall live, and we shall meet again. ​

    AGAPE.​

    AUMGN & AMEN.​
     
  13. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

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    i think you've gotten the poetic calling in everyones heart down to a tee there

    well done

    ;) sorry for having a go
     
  14. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    No, no, don't apologize! I quite enjoyed it!

    :)
     
  15. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

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    makes life more interesting i suppose

    you knob cheesE:p hehe
     
  16. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    Once transmitted,
    thrice scorned,
    swirling praise engulfs
    like misunderstood intentions.

    The self seeks magnification,
    in the mirror of others,
    while the Sol burns silent
    in the breast of awaiting vision.

    Rising to surge,
    as clarion clarity,
    to be shattered by insecurity
    on the rocks of duty.

    Torn asunder,
    as poles collide,
    to be fused conjunct;
    annihilation is birthed.

    A single seed
    bears a forest
    of newness...
    unfolding.
     
  17. marquis_de_odde

    marquis_de_odde Member

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    Glad to see some new posts from you.This one had a great feeling to it,and says a lot about the way things are.
     
  18. El Duce

    El Duce Member

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    Nights in white satin,
    Never reaching the end,
    Letters I've written,
    Never meaning to send.

    Beauty I'd always missed
    With these eyes before,
    Just what the truth is
    I can't say anymore.

    'Cause I love you,
    Yes, I love you,
    Oh, how, I love you.

    Gazing at people,
    Some hand in hand,
    Just what I'm going thru
    They can understand.

    Some try to tell me
    Thoughts they cannot defend,
    Just what you want to be
    You will be in the end,

    And I love you,
    Yes, I love you,
    Oh, how, I love you.
    Oh, how, I love you.

    Nights in white satin,
    Never reaching the end,
    Letters I've written,
    Never meaning to send.

    Beauty I'd always missed
    With these eyes before,
    Just what the truth is
    I can't say anymore.

    'Cause I love you,
    Yes, I love you,
    Oh, how, I love you.
    Oh, how, I love you.

    'Cause I love you,
    Yes, I love you,
    Oh, how, I love you.
    Oh, how, I love you.
     
  19. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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