I just joined this forum looking for people to talk about my "gender issues" I seem to have does anyone else look in the mirror and hate yourself?
Yes. I hate seeing myself, and will avoid doing so as much as is possible. I detest how i look with a passion.
I'm sorry if I make you upset or anything, I'm new a this and well I just want to know how to deal with this before I decide to hurt myself .
It's hard. Of course I take female hormones to try and give me a little bit more of the physical body of the woman that I really am, and hopefully genital correction surgery soon. But is still see the physical male characteristics of my face and body when I see myself, and it's very distressing. I accept it in as much as I know I can't change it. But it's something that's always been, and probably will always be a painful thing to live with. There's no easy answer to give you on how to deal with it. Accepting it and liking it isn't the same thing. Being female, having male physical characteristics disgusts me, and that's a feeling that will never go away. You just have to learn to cope with those feelings. But it's not easy, not for me anyway.
Well I'm the oppisite, wanna trade bodies? Thanks for the advice too, it's nice to talk to someone who understands .
I wish! It would be great if we could trade bodies. I do sometimes think there's some man out there somewhere suffering with my woman's body, while I'm stuck with his. LOL That's okay, you're welcome. I think some other people can be sympathetic towards people like us, but really, unless you're going through it, you can't even begin to imagine or understand what it's like.
Yeah, have you ever dated gay men? (Just curious maybe I could ask another question to bug you more )
Nope, I've never dated anyone. I made a conscience decision when i was still at school to never be with anyone, until i was able to be myself in a relationship. (Myself being a heterosexual female) In other words, while i still have male genitalia, I'm never going to get into a physical relationship with anyone. If ever i do that, i want it to feel natural and right. And it really wouldnt while i still have the body i still have. And I've never identified as gay anyway.
I don't mean to offend I just wonder because of my situation. It started as as me being a lesbian but then I realised that I'm missing something... A PENIS lol, and I dunno it makes me so mad to look down and see what I have you know? and you may or may not understand but my girl is an all-out lesbian and I always get the feeling she'll leave me if I get the change, but I love her too much to let her leave.
No, you didnt offend me! lol I realise a lot of people do have relationships in some bid to be "normal". For me, i always identified as a heterosexual female, but knew i had male bits. For that reason, i decided i would stay alone until i got myself fixed to something resembling what i always should have been. I do understand that, and people in this situation who choose to have relationships probably don't realise they're just making things more difficult for themselves later on. There were several reasons why i decided to stay alone, but all of them related to me still having a penis instead of a vagina. To me, the idea of being in any way physical with someone else with a penis attatched to me is repulsive, so i would just never do it. I wish I could advise you what to do, because I'm sure you love your girl very much and don't want to hurt her. But if you know deep inside you're a man, sooner or later you wont be able to repress that any longer. The longer you leave it to tell her, the worse it will be. I wouldnt know what to do if i were you, but i do know that repressing yourself isnt really the answer.
Thanks, but really at my age I can't really do much, I mean sometimes I wish I'd waited till I was right to start to date people so I could focus on getting what I need to, I don't nessisarly need a penis to feel right I just want a flat chest and some manly features cause as you already know the surgeries are sooo pricey and (haven't really researched m2f) has a lot of risks. I hope yours will one day go well I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.
The surgeries are very pricey. (Hence why i still haven't corrected my genitals) I think there are two reasons why people get into relationships, knowing their bodies feel wrong to them. The first, is obviously to give the illusion that everything is "normal". They don't feel comfortable with, or are to afraid to be open about who they really are to other people. Having a relationship is a classic "hiding tool" for people trying to hide their true selves from other people. The second reason, is because of the pressure applied by other people to be "normal", and the fact that being public about feeling trapped in the wrong body is likely to get you a load of harassment and abuse, and maybe even attacked or killed, so they try and "fix" themselves. In the misguided view that pretending to be a gender they don't see themselves as, or denying their true gender, will somehow make the problem go away. They try and make themselves believe that living as the opposite gender will eventually make them that gender. That they can force their natural feelings out. And again, having a relationship is one of the classic things people do to try and "fix" themselves. They think forcing themselves to live as the gender that feels unnatural will make them that gender. Doing what I've done is not easy, and I won't pretend it is. Being alone for so long has been a burden to me, and it is hard to live with sometimes. But i know the alternative would have been far worse. I would have been betraying myself, and not only that, pulling someone else into my attempt to decieve myself. It would not have been fair to me, or another person to get involved in a relationship in my current physical state. Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you can find some peace of mind one day too. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, it's a horrible thing to have to live with. Though i would say society's intolerance to someone like me is almost as distressing as being in the wrong body. Mentally speaking, i think being born in the wrong body is the most horrific thing anyone can be afflicted with.
I totally agree with you, thanks for being there for me, it's great to get advice from someone who knows what it's like. I really appreciate all the things you've done for me and I wish you lots of luck I just wish we could chat more often because to be honest you;re the first person I've met that can actually relate to me and I have so many questions to ask, as long as it's not a burden on you of course .
I have never thought that i am confused as i have always known that i am female i think it is others that are confused as they see me as one thing but find out that im another guess the old saying you cant judge a book by its cover applys to me
Well it's great your comfortable acting as you do, but I'm not sadly. I can't even look at myself without harmful thoughts I can't do with the body I guess. I wish I had the strength you had chubeebabe
I get really pissed off when I look in the mirror... It's not so much appearance as it is gender though. It's a burden that nobody should have to bear... I once put a fork in my leg because I got so pissed off... but when I thought about it, if I have to hurt myself, I try to do it in a more or less healthy way that won't give me any scars or anything, because that REALLY doesn't help the problem. I must admit that physical pain can sometimes be a nice distraction though... but you have to do it in moderation. It kinda makes it easier to breath, hehehe. Definitely do something about your gender issues though. Don't let people get in your way if you truly believe you are a girl, but think long and hard about it before you start. Also, if you find other people that have gender issues, such as here or in real life, they could probably help you more than people who don't know about GID or transsexuals. I myself have had to live through hell when people have been telling me that I'm "confused" and don't know my true "identity" and all that stuff. If it's socially appropriate, my response to them is "I know what being confused feels like, I am NOT confused. I know what I feel. You don't." It makes it really hard to actually DO anything about it. I took things into my own hands, paid a lot of money(pretty much all I have) on medical things and such.
hi. im also new. sorry if im interupting. just wanna say i know what its like every time i go to shower theres a women in the mirror i really wish it to be a male ore atleast something more androgynous than the female in it. no matter if its actully an attractive body. it still isn`t mine. i have been thinking of surgerys but theres so many buts and what ifs at this point that i more ore less ruled it out for now. personally iwant to be a man but if im whit a man ore women i don`t care. so i geuss im Bi ^.^
