Confusion about sexuality?:

I was talking to a friend at a party last night, and she said she wasn't sure if she's a lesbian or not. This is just a totally alien concept to me, and she couldn't really explain what was confusing about the situation.

So, did anyone here experience confusion about their sexuality? If so, what's it actually like?

 

Hahahah.....Baby.....Im never sure what lable I fall under myself....am I Gay....or Bi....and what does it matter ???

 

I guess it helps that I had a fairly liberal upbringing. There was no pressure to choose, I never had the awkward talk or anything, and I certainly wasn't afraid of getting shunned or kicked out of the house over it. I suppose it might be different if someone's been raised more conservatively, to believe that you're either straight or gay, and you ought to be straight. There was no pressure for me to even commit to a sexuality, so I guess I could've made my mind up in my own time if I'd wanted to.

 

It sounds like you have had a really cool upbringing !!!

 

I am confused and this is what it is like. I am attracted to mostly girls and some guys. I dont know which I prefer sexually because I havent had that much sex(and none of the sex I have had has been very good.)

 

she just needs to get with a girl and if she likes it alot then stick with it.. if she doesnt then try out a guy..... it's all aobut trial and error..

 

Why would you have to stick with it though? I mean, I stuck with guys, but it wasn't ever a conscious decision. If I'd been unsure as to my orientation, I wouldn't have wanted to just pick one if there was any way I could "have my cake and eat it", so to speak.

 

Well, I felt attractions to girls way young, but I did the "normal" thing and dated guys. I never felt like I was forcing myself to do so or anything. I didn't give it any thought. My parents are cool/open minded but I still didn't figure myself to be gay I guess. I suppose you could say I was confused for a time.

 

I was confused as a teen... But I realized that I thought girls were pretty, like flowers or paintings, while boys were beautiful, people that I would was to be with on a romantic level. But when I was 15 I didn't really make that distinction.

 

I think that sometimes when people say that they're confused, it might not necessarily mean that they're confused as to who they are attracted to. It might just mean that they're confused as to what to call it. She might like girls a lot of the time, but then sometimes she's attracted to guys. Does she call herself a lesbian? Does she call herself bi? This might be the case.

 

Sexuality fluctuates sometimes, and depending on how insecure you are it might really freak you out when certain days you're just not attracted to the gender you consider yourself attracted to...

I had possibly more issues dealing with straight attractions after I'd been calling myself "gay" for a while, than just admitting I was gay in the first place...it was just hard because it felt like after all the confusion I went through on the path to coming out to myself, it might've turned out to be "just a phase" or something.

It's just...confusing! I agree with amp about the word thing, I think the problem comes when you begin to personally identify with your sexuality...because it won't always be perfectly consistent and all.

 

I was confused at 18 and I would say I'm more confused now despite being older! One thing I've realised is that sexuality is a very broad subject. It's not black and white, but different shades of grey and it can change over the course of people's lives due to so many different circumstances.

 

i didn't really think about who i liked, i just assumed i like girls, but i've never dated in my life, and i didn't really care about it... it was only some months back, that i began to think that maybe i like boys. and i've noticed i feel the same thing for some guys as i do for some girls, but rather like: they're cute, handsome, beautifull(and i could look at those girls/boys for hours, but when i'm away i don't think about them)...that's it.
i guess i've never really been in love then ^_^' but doesn't matter i don't really care that much about my sexual orientation (and being transgendered makes it even harder to put a label on it, so i don't really try, or just call myself bi *shrugs*)