Hey what's up? So a few months ago I admitted to myself that I was bisexual and that was fine, being bi and only being sexually attracted to guys not emotionally (i'll never have a boyfriend, just girlfriends) I thought no need to tell anyone and I was fine with that but a couple of times of the last couple of months the chance to actually have gay sex has come up and I just can't bring myself to do it, the thought of gay sex arouses me, I watch gay porn and when I think about I think I would totally do it but when the opportunity arises I just can't do it, anyone else had this? Cheers
In one form or the other this happens very frequently to many people. Watching porn from the safety of your private environment with other guys doing the play is one thing. Doing it yourself in real life is quite another. It is now fashionable to go around bashing the porn industry for promoting unrealistic sex with "stars" who usually have equally unrealistic looks, and command extraordinary sizes, skills, come in buckets, etc. The bashing is as useless as it possibly can be. No one is forcing anyone to watch porn, and if a guy lacks the maturity to understand that practically all the porn is a commercially produced fiction with a number of tech effects that no one uses in real life, too bad for him. He needs to grow up. Most probably, you are uncomfortable with the actual scenario which presents itself when the opportunity for you to have sex with another guy presents itself. So, you bail out. Again, remember that there is a huge difference between watching the two dudes do it on the screen of your computer, and doing it in a bedroom with another guy. You may want to ease yourself into the world of m2m sex. Do not go for the usual, porn kind of a scenario, where you meet up a dude in a bar, gym, or on the Grindr, and take him home for a hot session in your bedroom, living room, kitchen or bathroom :dizzy2: . You probably do not feel comfortable with it in the first place, and frankly you are most likely pretty insecure how not to appear to be a totally inexperienced and clumsy noobie. Consider going to a bar with a backroom, spa, or gay baths, and venture behind the curtain without any obligation or pressure to do anything. More likely than not, a few guys will be at it anyway. Have a look, and move on. Someone may make a pass on you, and sure, you should feel free to return the favor to the guys whom you find attractive. In this environment, no one really expects anything in particular, since no one has invested any time or energy in meeting you or dating you, whatsoever. So, you get to make out with a dude a bit. Nope, this does not lead to mind-shattering orgasms that you know from your fav porn flicks but you are getting some involvement. Do as much or as little as you can, and start gaining experience and confidence. You need to break the ice in a zero pressure environment where you know that you can push reset at any time without feeling awkward or wrong. Once you realize that, yeah, just like all the other dudes, you can make out to with another guy, you'll feel comfortable to explore your options a bit further. Once you are ready to start a private 1:1 play with confidence that you know what you are doing, you'll do that, too. KD
A lot of sense being talked by KD here! I've done a couple of gay saunas where it's ok to stroll around naked, watching the goings on (folk will be in private cubicles if they don't want to be seen). It's fair to say that I'm a bit of an exhibitionist and I quite enjoy watching the gay porn movies that are usually showing. I like to know that there others there, watching me masturbate, and if they wish to take over, with hand or mouth, I'm definitely up for that. Generally, these places supply lube and condoms and one trick I noticed by those that are up for it, is strolling round with a sachet and condom attached to your ankle with a rubber band......... The intention is obvious though I havent yet sussed how to sort the 'tops' from the 'bottoms'! Some 'naturist' beaches are good locations too but mind where the sand gets! Studland in Dorset has an active gay/bi area where it is very easy to find a partner....... Though it is patrolled so some discretion is required. It may well be that you gain satisfaction from merely observing the goings on....... But I think you will quite quickly discover if you personally want to take it further. It's a big plus knowing that others are at least in the ballpark, if that's the right similarity! Like you, I'm basically straight so find it highly unlikely I'd have a 'boyfriend'. Kissing guys does NOTHING for me, and I don't give anal either......... This isn't a lifestyle for me, it's just a mood thing.......
I'll veer off the original subject here a bit... Some environments are in favor of being somewhere between advertising to disclosing your preferred sexual role in advance. Other places place little value on such signaling. A very classical hint for the bttm dude in a spa is to lie on his stomach in his private cabin with his butt sticking up and the door open. If you face a bit of a dilemma here, assume that the prevailing MO is to give it a try. A total top dude will quickly understand what you are after, and will stop the play. A versatile dude or a bottom dude will go along. Not a biggie... KD
