My bf and I broke up. We had been friends for 15 years before we started dating. He broke up from an 11 year relationship about a month before we started dating. He led me and mutual friends to believe he had harboured feelings for me throughout his relationship with his 11 year ex. She cheated on him. He told me that he is not sure if he is in love with me anymore. He told me that he needed time to think it through and to figure out how he feels about me. We decided to try to remain friends while he makes up his mind. That was 3 months ago. He still is none the wiser. I can't walk away because he tells me: He loves me He misses me I am his ideal woman He feels he has never known anyone who had as much in common with him as i do. He cannot relate to anyone as well as he relates to me He is still very much sexually attracted to me He thinks about me all the time. He doesn't trust anyone as much as he trusts me. He doesn't expect me to but want's me to wait for him. He feels he would interfere if I went out and find someone else. He is not 'getting over me' he is still trying to work out how he feels for me. But that he will not: Get back together with me unless he KNOWS he is in love with me and that he believes it WILL work between us. We broke up because we argued alot. We argued alot about his ex. He remained her only support for 6 months after they broke up. While she was begging him to get back with her. This made me insecure. So we argued about his continuing contact with her. We argued. I could have dealt with things better. He could have dealt with things better. We both agree on this. I am still in love with him. I know friendship will never be enough for me. I don't know what to do. The waiting is killing me. I cannot even begin to get over him while the limbo continues.
i agree, why are you letting this guy decide your fate? why dont you step up and just find someone who will VALUE you and not take you for granted. if he misses his ex, it sounds like he has a habit of leaving things he really wants. do yu want that to be you? go find someone who will respect and cherish your time. dont worry, they are out there. i know it hurts, but this guy just isnt it.
emphasis mine. he's playing you for a fool. It's up to you whether you allow him to do that to you or not. I wouldn't now, but I have in the past. It's no fun to have no self-respect. Forget what he says to you, you apparently can't trust that. Look at how he treats you, what his actions say about him. Is this what you want from a lover? from a friend? Would you put up with that if it came from anyone else? Change perspective a bit. Say it's your best girlfriend instead of a lover. She says she likes you and she needs to be your friend, but every time you need her she's not there for you. But when she needs something, you are the first person she calls. Every time you think you might go out and have coffee or something, she doesn't show up, or calls it off. Would you continue to think of her as a friend, keep calling her and talking to her? Or would you write it off as a learning experience, and never go there again?
i think you might just want to move on. i mean torturing yourself over one person for a long time will tear you apart. so in my opinion just let him go man, just let him go, anyways why would you want to be with a guy that treats you like that.
