Im just curious is there many of you who have had similar problems to mine, most of my teen and now adult life ive had major confidence issues, and i put most of that down to not being able to handle the whole gay thing. But im so random with it somethings i can have so much confidence i would have no problem singing for a crowd (not that i have) and then other times most in general i will curl up inside and not be able to have a normal conversation with anyone because my head goes blank i get easily fazed and i cant get even the smallest bit of confidence to just relax and be myself... I think maybe its because for so long ive tried to be someone else that i find it hard to just let go, im being very open here but tbh im a very open guy sometimes too open but i dont care And the only reason im posting this is because some of you must know where im coming from?
everything,.... just plain old talking with people, might sound odd but its what i lack confidence in. I get fazed when people talk to me especially if there is others around, its f**ked up.
I have exactly the same problem - I think However, when I tell me people that I am close to they think I'm being full of it - a lot of people have thought that I was arrogant The secret here, so I am told, is to focus on how you feel about yourself and not on what you think other people think about you The problem with worrying about what other people think of you is that you may be wrong. You may think someone really doesn't like you and maybe they either don't care or they do actually like you - it's just that you're getting the signals wrong Another thing: There are always going to be people that don't like you. That's life Back to liking yourself - it’s all down to integrity Do you behave in ways that your inner voice, your Jiminy Cricket, tells you are wrong? If so, those thoughts are what are damaging your confidence Either your behavior is wrong or your Jiminy Cricket is wrong - either way only you can sort that out You sound kind of sensitive so I imagine your Jiminy Cricket is mostly right so you should listen to him It's an Oprah way of thinking I know but she's really popular for a very good reason - she mostly gets it right
I have the same problem. I do find that a lot of the time I end up focusing on what other people are doing, or thinking. I don't know what kind of guy you are. There's a possibility that you have a lot of pent up emotion, in particular, anger. Stuff like that can throw you off too, and make you retreat into yourself. I know exactly what you mean when you say you go blank, its like your brain stops working. Its frustrating, I just assume its something you work out eventually. Beautiful men, I saw your other post. Again I don't know what kind of guy you are, but if you were competitive once, it could be pent up anger or aggression. That stuff builds up in you if it isn't dealt with the right way. I'm trying to figure the same things out though, just thought I'd offer insight that I've garnered so far. Cheers.
Your right about pent up anger, i have allot of it built up over the years, but i am dealing with it, i mean the simple fact that im able to talk about it means im addressing it, ive always needed someone to talk to but i never went to a head doc because at the end of the day unless they are gay and know where im coming from i cant see how they can really understand and help me. Its why i come on to sites like these and really express myself. Ive been doing transcendental meditation for about 4 months, i recommend that to anyone its simply amazing and all of any stress i ever had is piling off me. With regards to the way people see me here where i live now, allot dont understand me and allot and think im an arrogant **** that wont talk to anyone, the simple fact is ive had confidence issues for so long, but now i have so much more and im happier but i cant seem to change for the peeps i know here and show them that i have because its too hard, so i think i need a new start, maybe a new town,.. i am starting a college course in a different county in a few months i might go from there and see how things go
I have a question for you. When you're trying to be yourself, do you have other people in your head? I'm not sure quite how to explain it, but its like they're you or you see yourself in them. Its like "oh thats like so and so, or that reminds me of that". It doesn't necessarily have to be men either. I'm curious because I do. This sounds depressing, but its like I've lost myself.
Everyone says to not listen to popular opinion. Everyone says mainstream music sucks. Doesn't everyone makes the popular opinion? Doesn't everyone listen to mainstream music? Everyone will tear you apart and make you into everyone.
To be honest, i think if i cant be myself all of the time because of confedence issues the best thing i can do is just be open about everything, even if im too open...
I'm not very confident, but I talk alot when I get nervous, which a lot of people mistake for confidence. I think I would be much more confident were it not for my face continuously breaking out since the age of 14. That's really the only problem I have with myself. I suppose that alot of times, when meeting new people, I just forget about how I look and conversate as if I were a perfect being. Maybe I do have self-confidence. Rather, I guess that I just really don't care what people think about me. If someone doesn't like me, I consider it their loss.
You have plenty of confidence. You're always your own toughest critic, imo, because other people are going to notice subtle things about you that you don't, and blah blah blah Confidence for me is wavering. If I'm feeling good, I'll strike up a conversation with bystanders, but if I'm in one of my mood, I'll keep to myself and let the misery fester quietly within. Basically ya just gotta be yourself. No matter WHO you are, there will always be people who will like you, and those who will not.
Youve hit a valid point there! The happier a person is the more confedent they will be. Its a simple as that, so do what you have to do to be happy i guess!
