Do you believe in the concept of virginity? Can it fundamentally change who you are as a person? Certainly theres a first time but is it worth mentioning and revering? Should we make a ceremony of losing virginity? Or should we begin to destigmatize first times, as though having sex for the first time was no different than using a pen for the first time. Tell me what you think, what would you have prefered for your first time? If you could change how first times go what would you say would be the best way?
To each their own, how they prefer to deal with it. Some are private, some will sing it on the rooftops
I'm not sure virginity can change who we are as a person given that we start off life as virgins. I wasn't aware of there being any stigma except for some who are still virgins in their 30s or 40s. There need not be stigma at any age, imv. I wish the world was such that women were treated equally and allowed by society, to behave equally to men, if they choose to do so. Some men will stick it in almost anything or anyone and that's considered 'just a guy being a guy'. When a woman would behave similarly to that, she gets labelled or earns a reputation that isn't favourable to her. (tart/slut/sleg/bike etc) That's a generalization, of course. So virginity won't change us but losing it, or giving it away may lead to our thoughts/opinions changing.
On the home stretch with house work today and tomorrow, small things to do 3 more days and the visit comes. It will be a week of activities during the day and easy evenings
@UnveilingGirl Yes I believe in the concept, yes at the time it did change me as a person (only slightly, taking sexuality to the next level), and yes it was a celebratory event that is well worth revering and remembering because of who it was with. Of course it's not the same for everyone, but these are just my thoughts. My first time was slowly built up to, so I felt relaxed and confident it would be a happy and successful occasion. It was, I have special memories of it, and it became a celebration of sexual freedom. I don't look back and wish it were any different.
My experience with losing my own virginity was with a close female friend who was as curious as I was as to what the other sex looked like. We'd talked a lot about many things, but this subject was frequent, and we simply decided to be each other's lab partners in the woods. There was a state park entrance across the street from the school, and we simply went there with blanket in hand and found a secluded spot. We made the mutual agreement that if we were to find the answers to our curiosity, we should be ready and willing to put our embarrassments and inhibitions aside and go for it. So the initial fumbling, touching and looking with amazement at and with each other. The talk of how things felt to us when we touched each other and were touched by the other lead to masturbation, which shocked us both but was so enjoyable that it led to sex, which was obviously even more shocking and enjoyable. Eventually as life experiences in both college and the Air Force happened, I was the first for two more virgins. Not the best sex, but memorable, especially a college girlfriend who had a VERY tough hymen... took three occasions attempting to unseal the thing, actually went in around it on the second try and it actually hurt, felt like trying to fuck a bedspring. Third time it snapped so hard we both jumped when it happened, and it was like everything went loose and easy. She bled a lot, and that was my first experience of going in a store and buying tampons for her. The best sex will always be with someone who has experience and some idea of what they want. But everyone gets at least one first time. I've been fortunate enough to have my own first time with another virgin, and two additional virgins. Can't say I'm unhappy about that.
There should be no negative stigma at all but I grew up with such an oppressive negative stigma that it's effect lasted decades. Oh to have my time over again
My wife's first time to have sex was when she was 14 with a neighbor boy after losing a game of strip poker. She doesn't count it. She claims that she actually lost her virginity in college to an upperclassman. I'm okay with that. There is no question that I lost my virginity to her on our wedding night. An alternative view is to count any orgasm caused by another person to be a loss of virginity. In that case, I was the first to finger her to orgasm, and she was the first to give me a hand job to orgasm.
Don't knw why I haven't commented on this yet..... I DID make it a 'ceremony' and I wrote a blog on the experience. I chose to seduce my best guy friend when I was 19 because I wanted it to be as special as it should have been. It was VERY special because we cared about each other as best friends and that made us go to extra lengths to take care and make each other happy. And he was experienced with sex and was able to guide and teach me some vaulable things. It was an all night experience that I will never, ever forget.
I kept my virginity until junior year of college. Even as a man, I never felt particularly stigmatized or worried about it. I was fortunate to lose my virginity to a woman I deeply care about. I am not sure the event of losing one’s virginity warrants a celebration, but it is definitely a personally important one. Otherwise, I would not have changed anything regarding my first time. But, as the years have gone by, I certainly cherish the memories of the actual relationship and don’t think too much about my first sexual experience with her.
Same for me! Except that I was a sophomore (but a rising junior already) and it was with my very best friend. Maybe the difference is that many girls feel that their first time will always be unforgettable. (Of course that depends on the circumstances, what kind of experience it was.)
Thanks for sharing your story. Would you describe your first experience as unforgettable? While may very first experience may not be that memorable, the memory of all my experiences with my first girlfriend are.
