I can not take it. All she does is complain about every single little thing. I blew up this morning. Broke a chair and screamed in her face to Shut The Fuck Up. She says "don't talk to me" I said good, you do the same and maybe I can have some peace and quiet. Instead of screaming in her face, what can be done to help people like her besides drugs.
First of all, that was an unnecessary blow up. Second of all, if you don't like it, don't hang out with her.
yeah, if you're screaming in her face, it's time for you two to not be dating/seeing each other anymore that's an unhealthy relationship
Agreed. Blowing up then screaming in her face can sometimes lead to other more serious things. We have a co-worker just like that-I don't ask her about family or nothing since she obviously won't do anything about the situation even though her son is an adult. I tune her out. Perhaps its time for you to tune her out on a perm basis and leave.
I am not the cut and run type of person when a problem comes up. We been together for 10 years and a 3rd child is on the way. If we split, most likely I will end up under a bridge drinking gallons of whiskey until my liver shrivels up to nothing, and dying. And I love how this is my fault. She bitches so much that I can usually tune it out for a month. But everyone has a breaking point.
Well, if you think it's OK that you blow up at the mother of your children...maybe you deserve to be under that bridge. Think before you do things. There are other ways of dealing with things than screaming, yelling, and throwing things.
You can say whatever you want, but Annie I am no longer interested in your feministic opinions. It is obvious to you that it is never the woman's fault.
well, if you don't like to hear what people have to say, then don't post things here. I think a lot of people will agree with me when I say that violence, whether it comes in words or actions, is never OK... And just because a woman complains (or a man, because I sure have been around plenty of men who complain more than any woman I've ever met), does not give anyone, man or woman, grounds to talk to them like dirt and throw things. And if it was in front of your children. MORE shame on you!
it may be her fault for this problem, but you screaming at her is another problem in itself. i dont' know what she did and i'm not saying its your fault, but screaming at her will not solve anything. never does - never will. come on, you broke a chair, seriously, i really hope your children didn't see that. go do some pushups or go punch a punching bag to release some of that anger, but don't break a chair and start screaming at her. if she complains about everything, TALK to her and work on a resolution.
And this coming from a guy...well, fitz, I guess maybe you're a feminist too since you don't agree with what he did
nah, i'm just a guy whose been brought up to know that screaming and yelling solves nothing, and to work on problems by talking to each other
I better watch out. If I make him mad, I might get yelled at and and a chair thrown... It's all my fault too, yup
And that will be the worst part of it all. The cycle will continue. They'll think it's OK...and that will carry with them through adulthood.
Maybe you should try to figure out why she is so unhappy. If it seems like she always has a problem, then maybe there is a problem. Maybe there is some stress or frusteration on her end that is causing her to be cintinuously unhappy. She may not even exactly know the root cause of her pessimism. Work together on this problem, whatever it may be, instead of positioning yourselves as adversaries. Maybe she needs some counseling of her own, or you need couples counseling to patch up the relationship. That being said, breaking things and yelling doesn't helps solve any problems, only increases tension in the house. Finding a more productive way to vent frusteration rather than turning into the hulk and terrifying the household is something to keep in mind.
None of you even remotely understand. It is now 7 hours later and we are best friends again. I did solve the problem by flipping out. Because me holding it in would only make it worse in the long run. Would you rather the volcano explode frequently that way it can be predictable, or have one giant unexpected explosion where a lot of people get hurt or possibly killed?
You're right, we can't possibly understand, we don't know your situation. We only know what you post...and if you don't post all the information, how are we to know? You asked for advice (by coming here) and you didn't like what we had to say. If you guys TALK to eachother and communicate, things can be solved and nothing gets broken. I grew up in a broken home with a lot of yelling, and it's not easy...and it sticks with you...I'm concerned for your children.
I think that most people here would not want to live next to a volcano. The combination of "I broke a chair" and "How can I stop her from bitching"...well, you know what kind of flags that set off. She needs to learn how to express her needs without triggering your defensiveness. You need to remember that violence (both physical and verbal) has lasting effects. And you need that memory to work in the heat of the moment. I don't know how the two of you will get to a better place, but it seems that you aren't happy with the relationship as it is. If she feels the same way (i.e. things need to change), that's good. If she doesn't, you can still do things from your end.
