i am an only child in a strict asian family and i am having a lot of difficulty telling my parents that i am a lesbian. It's hard because I know they won't be happy because the amount of times i have heard them discriminate against homosexuals tells me that i am not welcome as one. i just want a little bit of support and advice and maybe a few friends lots of love julie
If you're close to leaving your hometown for college or something, I wouldn't tell them, if their reaction is really severe, you're probably too vulnerable to risk telling them now. I'd wait until you aren't financially dependent on them, in case they do something ridiculous like kick you out. That's what I'm doing, if this isn't your case though, maybe it's better to tell them sooner than later.
I agree with spacer. A lot of people have no idea of how their parents would react if they come out to them. If you have an idea, and it's negative, it would be better to wait until you're independent.
Hi, I know you're facing a really hard dilemma. There isn't an unique answer to this question, it is really a case-by-case question. It depends on your parents' personality, on your personality and on your plan for the future. I am Chinese and my parents are very traditional so I really understand your situation. Spacer and La Principessa have touched a good point, it is independence. Yes, you have to be independant if you want to do your coming out. Firstly, of course, you have to be financially independant. Secondly, you must have a strong personality, because being asian, it means that you have to face all the familly, even your closest friends. You have to be brave, it will be really hard to see your mother crying, your father very disappointed, your uncles and aunts despising you and your parents. I know it because I did my coming out this year, more particularly, at the night of the Chinese new year. I'll remember that night until my last days, the shocked face of my father, this was the first time I saw him crying and it was also the first time he slapped me. And my mother holding me and telling me that it isn't true, that it must be a mistake. I must say that I'm a lucky girl, my parents didn't cut our relation and often visit me but we try not to talk about this question after that night. Sometimes, I ask myself if I regret my coming out. The answer is NO, I do not regret but I don't want to do this one more time because it is really painful. I do not regret because I want to be myself, I don't want to lie to my parents. They are the dearest people I have on earth, I can't pretend all my life. This was a choice I made. It doesn't mean that everyone has to make the same choice. I wish you'll be happy and do your own choice and, the most important, asume without regret your choice whatever it is. I've subscribed to this forum only to reply to you. If you want to discuss more with me, write to me to my email address: ezyf@hotmail.com.
