Coming out check List

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Samhain, Apr 23, 2007.

  1. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    What I'm going to do with this thread is make a check list of the things that a person may like to consider when they are thinking about coming out, there are no rights or wrongs with this and it won't answer questions, but it may get one thinking a bit more about the subject.

    Support
    What type of support have you got for when you come out?

    *check out in your phone book and local gay cafes and pubs for groups that you can go to that will give you support
    *Phone book for help lines
    *a friend that already knows
    *a gay friend that can give you an idea about what it was like for them

    How

    *Someone that can come along with you, even if its just waiting in the car outside
    *a shoulder to cry on or someone to celebrate with
    *someone on the other end of the phone
    *someone whos not involued with your life telling family and friends why it isn't a big deal should they react badly

    How will you come out?

    *Make it a big event and tell everyone you know
    *just tell one or two people you know you can trust
    *Tell most people but not people you think won't be able to handle it (but would they find out anyway)
    *not plan it at all and do it when you think teh times right
    *hint at people and hope they guess

    Why are you coming out?

    *because you don't want to live a lie
    *because theres someone you really like and it would be easier if everyone knows your gay
    *because your friend thinks you should do
    *because you know gay people who have come out and you really admire them
    *because you hate your family and would love to shock them
    *because your in a relationship and want to be honest about your partner/because your partners asked you too
    Are you doing it for you or for other people or a mixture, do you think there are any pros and cons in it being for you or for others?

    Negatives

    *you might loose people in your life you didn't expect too
    *you coud be in physical and emotional danger from your family and friends
    *you could be bullied at school
    *your job could become intolerable or you could loose it
    *it could be a big anticlimax, you thought it would be great, but nothings really changed that much
    *you may feel afterwards that you are actually unsure about your sexuality, but by this point its been said
    *the gay community may not be as supportive as you felt it would be

    Postives

    *family and friends are really supportive
    *you can be proud of who you are
    *you can be a role model for others who haven't come out yet
    *you don't need to worry anymore about being seen in the gay community
    *you can finally stop lieing
    *people are proud of you for not being ashamed of who you are
    *you are sending out a clear message that there is nothing wrong with being gay
    *people can get to know your partner
    *you don't have to explain to people why you are not interested in them sexually
    *you can take a gay orientated job or have a gay hobby
     

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