Coming Out and Betrayal

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by 037014, Apr 6, 2007.

  1. 037014

    037014 Member

    I am 16 years old. I work at a fruitshop and told the gay person whose about 24 that i was gay. He was well accepting however was not physically responsive (did not touch me whilst i broke down and cried) and said to tell my mum. 2 hours later my mum came to my work and said 'i will love you nowhatever you are'. It took that person less than 1.5 hours to tell my mum that i was gay and effectively screw me to the wall.

    I felt betrayed because i trusted him as a friend, a superior and a person who i though knew how hard it is to be gay. I did not see him for about a week and he ignored the topic making me feel worse.

    To make this even more complicated i am now attracted to him which makes it awkward when he is cold and distant towards me.

    Did the person i trusted have any right to out me to my mum without my permission and do i deserve to feel betrayed and angry at him?
     
  2. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

    I suspect he may have acted out of fear considering that you are only 16 and he is 24. In this state and most others I know of, had he even touched you, some rabid prosecutor could have had him labeled a sex offender and he could have done prison time. Does that justify him calling your mom?...No. He's a real shit for doing that. Don't waste time on trying to persue him because it's only gonna cause you more pain and frustration than you need. Yeah, I'd be really pissed at him for betraying you but he may have been scared of the legal hassle he could have faced.
     
  3. KewlDewd66

    KewlDewd66 Member

    A very good observation. Yeah, he should have never called in your Mom but equally so, you are still a minor and he was protecting his ass. I am not approving of his action, but I see a guy trying to make sure, he does not get to see the state prison from inside.

    K, now: one important lesson learned. One open declaration too many and the proverbial shit hits the fan.

    Make friends, enjoy each other company. Do things together and see, where this takes you to? Hold it with 'I am gay' Big Speech...

    Preferably, try to hook up with other gay youth and enjoy their company, too. No rush or anything. One thing at a time...

    KD
     
  4. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    What a stupid dickhead! How dare he do that! Fuck...I couldn't imagine someone doing that.

    "Um, hello? Is this Johnny's mother?"

    "Why yes, hello. Who is this?"

    "This is his supervisor. Oh um, your kid is gay by the way - lololololol!!!!11 ...........K bye"

    Even though I say that Yarapario makes a good point. He may have been acting out of fear - worried that if he were to touch you he would get in trouble "wit da fuzz".

    I guess you've learned a lesson - don't come out to guys who you don't know well enough. Sucks that you're attracted to him, but unfortunately it sounds as though he doesn't really like you back, so I think you should respect that and leave him alone..well maybe not too alone. Maybe try pull some evil shit on him like ...[insert cunning prank here]. Just joking, don't do that...though it would be funny. Actually do do it, then record it and put it on You Tube for the entertainment of others. Oh and then tell everyone he is gay. I'm being stupid now, I'll shut up. I'm starting to say that a lot lately :D
     
  5. CrazybutLazy

    CrazybutLazy Banned

    You just got sigged.
     
  6. *Andy*

    *Andy* Senior Member

    Woot, thanks dude :)
     
  7. nealallen

    nealallen Member

    I think the guy is an utter dickhead, it was none of his businees to call your mother. So what you came out to him, did you acually say "By the way, feel free to call my mum and tell her?"

    A lesson to be learned here, (DON'T TRUST ANYONE YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW) and I wouldn't suggest telling him anything else, be it about you or someone else.
     
  8. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    the guys mistake was not telling you before he contacted your mother, if he thought it was a situation he couldn't handle then I think its fair enough him going to your mother as the adult in charge of your care
    S
     
  9. hater000000

    hater000000 Banned

    true, and the posters mistake was being GAY. fucking faggots stop being fags or kill yourselves, your all useless.
     
  10. 037014

    037014 Member

    OMG no

    i did not say to him 'feel free to tell me mum'

    i told him at the start you cant tell anyone what i am about to tell you. Then at the end i said to him you cant tell anyone, can i trust you and he said yes.

    i feel so ashamed of myself; i disgraced myself and he treated me like a piece of meet to act out his sick ideas about how to hurt another person
     
  11. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    I think your over reacting, this guy was simply uncomfortable with what you said and felt your mother needed to know, but didn't know how to tell you that he was going to tell her after all.
    the only thing he's guilty of is not keeping a confidence, reality check it happens all the time, make sure you really know someone and really trust them next time
    S
     

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