they’re strolling along the endless roads of time contemplating if they will ever reach the destination the final gate blurred faces through the glass are hidden deep sapphire diamonds shining through your hair wish I could have been there dark earth vibrations closing in time on rippling shades of gray pasture skies stretching throughout children’s dreams purple flowers floating as Indians dance searching for reason in symbolic peyote trance windless tunnel’s inescapability fading light, sunshine dimmer rising moon put asleep the innocents those that do not dwell among the night all that will run and yell in fright hallways full of Doors curse the lush cabbage singing of the officials pale faced mongrels are coming to the party the plant will grow, out among the stars and should I have died? or will it be yet to come when they all have congregated and I am done luxurious skies spread across the soft glowing fire rain unexpectedly occurs within the absence of mind green mist engulfing all hope of foundation wooden palates cackling at their own death winter smiles at its own perfection
There are a lot of loose ends and scattered images, but it's hard to find a concrete theme, a topic, a message in this...unless it's just to describe your trip. For me, your writing lacks focus, find a subject and then embellish it with all this great imagery you've got going on, but when you just have imagery but nothing to back it up, your poem loses strength.
