Comfort zones and ripping the band-aid off

Recently I've been thinking about how much of humanity prefers to stay in their comfort zones, and are apprehensive to say something that needs to be said, or do something that needs to be done.

I used to hate getting out of my comfort zone, and relied on others to do things like this for me. And to be honest I still prefer to stay in my comfort zone at all costs.

Whether it comes to confronting someone in your life about an uncomfortable topic, or trying something new and different, I feel that ripping the band-aid right of is often the right approach, rather than staying in the comfort zone forever.

I like to compare it to jumping into a river or lake for a swim; you can get in the water very slowly as the cold water works its way up your legs to your junk very slowly. Or you can jump right in and get it over with. Much of the time, we as humans prefer to walk in the cold water very slowly, because it's part of our comfort zone not to get the full body temperature shock. However, I find that it's much better to just jump into the water and get it all over with.

Besides, in the end, we are more likely to regret not taking action and seizing the opportunity when it was ready and available. Most of my regrets in life come from staying in my comfort zone.

 

Well you only live once. I'm increasingly realizing that I want to use my money and time to have experiences rather than accumulating possessions. It helps that I have no family or parents to support. Some would call that selfish but it's just how my life panned out.

 

I find that the older I am getting the less problem I have with saying what needs to be said to people.

There was a time that I wouldn't do that.

Now, I'm like, "Fuck It. Who are you that I shouldn't tell you something true that you need to hear?"

 

I think people are afraid of losing friends and relationships so they stay quiet, even while watching loved ones and friends make poor choices. I plant seeds. I’m not better than anyone but planting seeds allows others to have their own light bulb moments. But staying silent while you watch people go down destructive paths isn’t being a friend.

 

You know what you are, D. You're a seed planter. I dunno if that's good or bad but that's what you are as you said it lol. So you're a seed planter. Big deal. Ain't nothing to hate on for planting seeds. so you plant a couple of seeds.

Rofl. Neveemind me I dunno what I'm on about, but believe me, I'm having a good time here.

 

Lol it sounded good in my head

 

Hopefully they are pot seeds...

 

Some are more open to experience than others, and I think this is somewhat inborn, but those who are more risk averse can learn to take more risks over time. I would also suppose that the older you get, the more risk averse you become. Probably because you have more to lose than you did in your 20s and 30s.

Where you recently in a situation that you made you leave your comfort zone?

 

I'm fairly non confrontational in real life, I think getting out my comfort zone in this regard could potentially be a bit more beneficial. The thing is when I'm prodded to speak my mind on a topic and it's divisive, then I'll speak with passion and people sometimes conflate this with me being angry or perhaps makes them weary.

 

I can mostly break a comfort zone if I'm on something.. But I have also done it completely sober like taking a huge leap of faith and its kind of shaped my life a bit at the moment which is a good thing so I can safely say for me at least, stepping over those boundaries where beneficial.

The main concern I have with social anxiety is that, I do not like showing up anywhere if I don't know anybody. Once I know one person, different scenario. I always look on my phone, well I use to. Now days if I'm showing at a venue it's with my pool cue, and I'm there for business. Can't let a room of pool sharks smell the fear, gotta walk in like Caesar.

So having that competitive routine in my life has definitely made me come out of my shell somewhat. As I get older though I notice a change in my attitude, specifically on this last camp trip I saw young kids 18yo misbehaving. And they ran away when we came. I wasn't going to do anything, blow whatever you want to blow up I'll watch lol. But I noticed that, I'm older now, which means I'm not the one running away anymore. If I want to sit somewhere, young people won't challenge that. I'm a senior lol. 10 years I try that I be shoo away by older folks, now I'm the one beginning to do the shooing lol.

 

on average that's probably true. but it could go the other way too. i suspect a lot of people reach a certain point in their life and realize that time is running out, and start going for things that they wouldn't have earlier in life.

 

Same here. Probably because i'm very quiet and more soft spoken. But when i start speaking about something i feel strongly about or passionately, without realizing i start speaking more rapidly and my voice tone pics up. Then people are like "whoa calm down dude." Which confuses me because i feel pretty calm.

Anyways, i need to get into my comfort zone of sleeping. Its past 6 in the morning which may bring me discomfort later.

 

I need to get out my comfort zone with meeting people. If someone hits on me or if someone I don’t know initiates conversation, I immediately start making a plan in my head about how to find a casual way out of the conversation. It’s not a habit that is serving me very well. The prospect of running out of things to talk about or of speaking for the sake of filling up space is just so aversize for me.

 

Very recognizable. Same here. But its not a comfort zone thing (for me at least). I think its a hearing thing. I just don't notice the volume of my own speech when im really into explaining stuff (to stupid people JK!). I raise it gradually.
I've told some people it happened several times with to please say it as soon as you notice it: i will adjust. It really goes subconsciously

Me too. Too many I know are getting kids and stuff

I can relate a bit. One thing that can make me a bit nervous/weary is when a seemingly fun/interesting person is claiming they dislike small talk I cant help but thinking they must only like and have very interesting and witty talk, if they put down all kinds of small talk..! That can be a bit intimidating of course. I want meeting new people to be fun, not feel like I have to raise the bar of convo in order to impress. In reality no one has witty and interesting talk all the time. And people who insist they have and put down/nag on every other kind of talk are fairly unpleasant. And if two people are getting to know each other and have a click a silence during a convo or on a date or something shouldn't be awkward at all But yes, theory and practice are two different things

 

Yeah, I like it when silence is comfortable.

 

A lovely thing indeed.

 

When I can be comfortable in silence with someone I know i've made a friend for life

 

And I am pretty averse to awkward small talk too, i'm not against small talk but I am super awkward about it. I'm one of those that keeps walking slowly away when you try to pin me down for small talk, so by the end of a sentence or two i'm looking at you from 5 feet away and then I turn and flee