Colors

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by TrippinBTM, Nov 13, 2005.

  1. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    Colors

    My red beating heart
    In rhythm with all the green
    Wind in the trees
    Is blood in my veins

    And the sun rises
    Far south for the season
    Orange light in the pines
    Is fire in my soul

    Later on her yellow face
    Will smile upon the blue
    Then crash a violet violence
    In the sunset of my mind

    And deep within my soul I found
    The rainbow of the world
    Isn't more than one thing split
    The white of all my colors

    ***

    Just wrote this one up, let me know what y'all think :)
     
  2. celtgrrl

    celtgrrl batty woman

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    i like it. very evocative. i don't quite understand the last two lines though, not sure what you mean?
    i have to say i always think of the sun as a male. heh, but that's just me :)
     
  3. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    white light contains all the colors, when it is split, like in a prism, you get colors.

    Anyways, thanks for your comments.
     
  4. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    enjoyed this one; it has a clear flow to it, I really liked the structure of your stanza's; I read it a few times to figure out what it was I liked so much, and it's how each stanza starts with a description, and the last line locks down that answer, and locks it down with finality (I dunno how else to say it). Anyways, yeah, I like that. A lot. Great work with this one!
     
  5. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    Actually, the last line was my favorite but I knew what you meant by it.
    I used to puzzle over the fact when I was told that at age four, that white is the presence of all while black is the absence of all. Having mucked about in my crayon box, making my own colors ( I ran out of brown often) it always seemed I was closer to black than white.
     
  6. Keramptha

    Keramptha Senior Member

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    i m really enjoying your styule... its very clear and pure.
     
  7. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    It is very weird that I should read this just before posting a poem I wrote, which is but an expnasion of the last two lines of your poem.
     
  8. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    The vibes are out there bro, and we're both tuned in, it would seem :)

    Thanks Bhaskar, and everyone else, for your comments
     
  9. Dariah

    Dariah Member

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    I like it a lot, especially the last stanza.
     
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