Cheating - Too common?

Hey, so I have just been thinking... it seems like cheating has really become a common practice today. I don't know, it just seems to me that as time goes on, I hear more and more stories of people cheating on their spouces/partners/whatever, and not really caring or feeling guilty of it. Then it seems that its even being portrayed more and more in popular culture. Has cheating become some popular thing now?? I don't really understand it. I personally think its one of the worst things you could do, and there is no way in hell I would even consider it. What do you all think? Am I crazy, or does cheating seem to be becoming more and more common these days...

 

ive never cheated and (as far as i know) never been cheated upon. i want to keep it that way
nor have any of my friends cheated or been cheated on as far as i know.

but perhaps were anomalies? i just dont know anyone whose admitted to cheating of any kind... i think it makes for decent story stuff for movies and books and the like

 

Hmm... I just know I've heard a lot of stories, and had experinces when good friends of mine were cheated on... And its definetly common here at college..

 

wow! i was just thinking about this and trust. i don't understand why you'd stay with someone but fuck someone else. it makes the other feel worthless, and you're right. it's become a common thing and i think it's terrible. it's the worst possible thing you can do to someone you apparently love and care about. what's worse is the people who do it and don't come clean about it to their partner and hide it until it eats them up...or doesn't.

one time i thought my boyfriend was cheating on me and i told him if he ever did to just tell me...or if he wanted to see another girl just to let me know, and that maybe i'd be ok with him sleeping with another girl if it was just for the sex and not because he had feelings for her. i donno. i guess i was just trying to get him to slip

it makes it hard to trust anyone these days. i know this kid i talked to who is my friend...only. but he tried sleeping with me in the past. and he told me that because of past experiences he doesn't want a relationship anymore...just fuck buddies and i think it's horrible that cheaters cause the people they cheat on to have huge fucking trust issues and will make it a lot harder to trust other's.

i for one...would never cheat on my boyfriend...and i'd hope he'd never cheat on me.

 

You would think that you wouldn't do it until you are put in a different situation. I really don't think anyone can say what they would or would not do until faced with it.

That being said, I have cheated on my ex. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but I certainly do not regret it at all. It taught me a lot about myself and about my thougths and feelings toward relationships and toward my ex and what I wanted for my future. At this point I have no desire to cheat on my current boyfriend. But this is a completely different situation. If I did feel compelled to cheat, I'd tell him how I feel and we'd go from there.

I don't believe that monogomy is natural. And I believe that is why people cheat. I think we force ourselves into these "relationships" with no way out, and after a while they are not right for us and we end up stuck. And in order to not fuck up the whole world, we decieve ourselves into believing that we should cheat. Personally, I think we should just let go of the idea of "til death do us part" and be honest with people up front.

I have done quite a bit of research on monogomy and it is not viewed the same way in other countries. In Russia people cheat all of the time it is pretty common place. They just don't tell anyone about it. And no one asks. In Japan they go to clubs and hook up all of the time and to them it is just like going out for happy hour.

I'm not saying any of this is right. And of course I do realize that we don't live in those countries, I'm just saying that the reason this is a big deal is all because of culture and not nature.

My arguement has always been: "would you have the same thing for dinner every day for the rest of your life?" of course you wouldn't. So why on earth would you force yourself to believe that you should be with only one person for the rest of your life? Might not be that strong of an arguement, I do know that much, but I don't have time to get into this whole discussion.

Again I'm not saying we should all be liars and hurt people. I'm just saying that we have brought this all upon ourselves.

By the way in case you all didn't know this, cheating is nothing new. People have been cheating forever. It is just more out in the open now. More people know about it, perhaps flaunt it. That doesn't make it right or wrong. It just is what it is and now we see it more.

 

I agree that it is way too common
I don't know that it is any more common than in previous generations
and I must admit it is an intriguing subject to me

 

come to rio de janeiro! everybodys doing it here, i feel like its impossible to find something with meaning here.... i dont want to endup being slutty like all the popl around me who are fucking there freind boyfreinds & girlfreinds or cheating on there own.. what a drama

 

I have been put in the situation, and I never
cheated on anyone, in any way, at all.
And I always told myself that I wouldnt do it.

And, would I have the same thing for dinner
every night for the rest of my life?
Yes, of course.
When one is wrapped up in satisfying the
physical sense, delusion and suffering are always
trailing you like your shadow.

It is not a matter of forcing yourself to be
with one person for the rest of your life for
everyone.
Some people are not in love, yet stay with
a person with whom they are unhappy with
out of attachment/selfish reasons.
Or because they are too weak to tell the
other person how they are feeling.
The truth can be hard to swallow for some.

But if you are truly in love with someone, then
you are not forcing yourself to do anything
accept be happy.

Of course everybody is different, but making
such a generalizing and bold statement that
you can not know how you will react to sleeping
with someone while your attached to someone
else until the situation presents itself to you
is a bit unfair, in my opinion.
Some people DO know themselves and are
comfortable enough with their own personality
to know how deep their self-control is rooted.
~

 

i' m sorry but food and being in love do not compare in my book.the bottom line is there will always be cowards out there cheating on someone they claim to love. then when they get caught they blame the other for his reasons of why they cheat or they'll blame it on stress whether goo d stress or bad stress.(sound ridiculous right?)we should look at it this way.....you waste more energy in the actual act of cheating and alot more energy trying to cover cheating tracks then you would if you were just honest and told the person you don't want to be together anymore.

 

Well i think there should be more guys like you then.
I've been cheated on in 3 different realtionships, including my current husband, (which we are working things through at the moment).
I've been in the situation a couple of times, where i could have cheated, if that's what i wanted but i never did, and even though my husband has done it to me, i STILL would never do it to him.

 

How can you even compare being with the same person your whole life to eating the same thing for dinner every night? I'm with the one I'm with because I WANT to be with him for the rest of my life, not just because I choose to keep him around until I get tired and switch tastes...
I've been in plenty of situations where I could have cheated, and so has he. Never happened, never will. I don't see how it's that hard to say "no" when you're already committed.

That said, it does seem to happen a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm almost the only person I know that has never even thought of cheating on someone. Sorry, but if I'm not happy with someone, I've got the balls to break up with them before I go sleeping around with other people...

 

i feel sorry if your sex life is so formulaic and repetitive with one person taht its comprable to eating somethign made from the same recipe over and over again
for me, its more like would i eat chicken every night fo rsupper? yes i would, but what we do and how we do it is always different... spicing up your sex life a little is necessary imho but its easy enough to do with just two people

 

see, but the thing is
that's how YOU are
other people (apparently the perosn you have responded to) see things their own way

the biggest mistake one can make when judging a person, is to use themself as the comparison

I find this to be one of the most true things in life
that when one is unhappy in what should be a fufilling relationship, it is of their fault
you can't be happy with someone else if you aren't first happy with yourself
you can't pleasure someone else, or be fully pleasured by someone else, without pleasuring yourself first
the happiest relationships are always the least selfish
a relationship is not about a single person fufilling themself
it is about two single people fufilling each other

 

I kind of just caught my boyfriend. Its the stupid myspace. We just go back from blazing up and he checked his myspace and had new messages and everytime he checks he always looks at them before i see them and then he lets me look. Well yesterday he wouldnt let me look at first and then he said that he was talking with someone about a present for me and then i was like ok well atleast tell me who its from because we've been talking about marriage and i thought he was talking to someone about an engagement ring but then he comes out and says that it was this girl that i knew and he thought it was someone who hated me playing a joke on him trying to break us up because alot of people have been trying to and i got really upset yesterday because this is the 3rd time hes done this and hes used the same excuse everytime. I really dont want to lose him because hes the best thing thats ever happend to me but ive never been hurt so bad in my life. I really thought that we would be together forever but it seems like im not god enough for him. Im a lil over weight but ive been on a diet just for him. I dont think he knows how bad hes hurt me. I literally cried for hours once he left yesterday and im still crying today. Then he got mad because i didnt believe him but i think i had a right to be mad and not believe him. I still dont believe him but next time i wont cry for hours and beat myself up over it im going to dump him before he can even say im sorry or his excuse. I used to have really bad depresssion and cut my wirsts and stuff like 2 years ago and yesterday i wanted to cut myslef so bad because it would relieve all my stress and worries but i didnt because i told myself i wasnt going to get worked up all over a guy. But yea idk what to do. I guess cheating is common if he's pretty much done it 3 times. but whatever i love him and want to be with him forever so hes got one more chance. I hope it never happens again. I seriously dont know what i would do without him. I hope im not making a wrong choice. Some say i should just get rid of him now but its really not that easy. Any suggestions?

 

It freaks me out when I hear all these people around me cheating on their partners and how it all seems so normal to them. It does seem like such a common thing. I don't get it. I've never cheated and can't imagine I'd ever will. If I'm not happy in a relationship and feel the need to be with someone else, then I'd rather just end the relationship because obviously it's a sign that something is wrong. But cheating... it's disgusting. Why would you even do that to someone you supposedly love...

 

wow. my dad cheats on my mom, but I finally found a boyfriend (fiance now) that doesn't cheat on me, even though my guy friends tell me thats impossible and only a matter of time.

Most of my male friends openly cheat on their women, BRAG about it, and most if not all of my ex boyfriends cheated on me.

so really I have only witnessed one man that has shown himself to not be a cheater. thank god it is my fiance.

 

what about people who deeply feel in their hearts monogomy is the only way for them. are they liars?

I'm not a liar, and I'm monogomous, and would not have it any other way. I hate this argument that usually only my horny male friends give, that society is the culprit, and how relationships are forced. Fuck society. I will be the first to break the rules. but monogomy is in my heart and yes I will take the same man to bed every day and night of my life, and be thankful for it.

 

girl, from my experience, EVERY time a man is trying to hide something, there's a damn good reason for him. Can you hack onto his myspace and find out?

Usually thats not good, but if my man gave me reason to doubt him I wouldn't hesitate. You have a right to know.

 

yah it was a misunderstanding. and she knows my password so theres no need for hacking

 

I've cheated, more than once, and on more than one girl.

The reason? Coke and booze make me a bad person.

And now I've quit teh drugz and the heavy drinking for my girlfriend now (not because she made me, but because I wanted to).