Chaos to have none is to be all is to know truth to know truth is to teach, to teach, one with all is delusion delusion is freedom wandering from one, what the blind call creation what the Spirit calls Wanti try to notice if after posting to this site, people start talking very loudly and in synch or in response or reaction to or with your actions, sometimes insulting you and saying 'after living with the... ive been learning' and talking about really strange things, that i won't mention, shouting as if to speak to you, but instead speaking into phones... throwing you off in every way possible there are people who just throw trash in the water... i am unsure why... probably it has to do with a taoist group or something, who uses ecstasy, on mountains, and can't focus and hemp gay peddy christian something i ching thats a teenager i'm a molester thats what i hear my dad saying and such things as this... we are fucked up, our doctors are mostly fools it seems, the people around us are not sane either possibility that even to speak is to make it worse, to speak directly on the subject, and i think thats caused by the tao, which had flaws, everything did... but still, people try for good, i didn't ask for things to be like this, they just kind of happen i was caught in it, people around were saying it was okay, that i needed it i'm not sure, the entire truth is gone... i know the truth isn't of this world this world, the attacks are there, i don't know by what magick, i am preserved, it is not so much the ability to let things go, is both advantageous and disadvantageous just like the ability to write things down and have language which means specific things it causes good maybe, but its causes so much suffering maybe these are not the things beings said, now, 'you are like obama, you are so great, pyschology you must go to college' maybe its just my mind which makes it that way, so in a sense i am my own enemy but its true it is coming from those sounds, those vibrations, and i wish they would stop but they continue, they give rise to strange views, strange feelings in me, i go and wander looking into the plants for the cure i try to go with it, i end up being coerced to constantly work but i think about it and honestly, is it much worse than the lot of others through life? maybe its better to have a job, because maybe the noise like this would go, but maybe it would still be there, which is why i don't the trees say hey and yo, the spirit there i love, here i dont understand, symbolically, it seems to be designed to stop me from doing things, maybe it is the work of a redwood sequoya fairy, or that is what is missing, maybe its the items in the house which bring up notions of raping anal penetration, thats what my dad did to me, in a small way, a long time ago probably not meaning to, it really wasn't that much but i didn't like it but it seems like its being lived out and the memory of it always being allayed to without thinking, when im around here, these people maybe thats just the way people are maybe putting it on a site like this is just a way for it to grow worse, for us to know really nothing better is going to come of it, no one really cares, maybe its going to the same people who began it in the first place, but there is a chance healing is happening, i try to heal, but i see people throw trash into the lake and around it, i want to stop that but sometimes i just chill, eventually it will happen, i'll make sure of that, but whats the use of running yourself raw trying to when it seems people are just determined to never let the trash stop accumulating? sometimes its better jsut to let it sit then maybe they see its a lot, and they stop but this all is what i get to, not even the worst, but speaking of it, im sure eventually its going to cause more destruction than good, maybe a long time ago, that happened, maybe we are all doing it, theres a way out, i know that, but maybe this isnt the way and its unresolved i know but its like, an emotional state, and why is this happening, i mean theres so much but its still happening and i don't know i'm probably too sensitive, and i am trying to control too much but no one ever tells me this, so i dont know... i cant get a clear response or reaction.. but i think its getting closer but i think if it keeps going like this, its just gonna cause me to fall and seem like something is true that isn't, and i don't know if even for them, maybe the same thing has happened to them and they are me in another dimension, i dont have a need for vengeance, i dont even know if they actually exist, or me, really, i just would like it to stop and i wish this could happen with a doctor, but they are never around when i really have things to say, one day itll happen though.. i think that it just causes people to use more electricity and energy, trying to isolate themselves, hypnotizing themselves to what the system does sometimes consciously sometimes unconsciously, sometimes good can come from it, and maybe thats what Cybele is, the real one, sans the pretention both of crystallized tradition and modern misunderstanding and arising spontaneous in those who seek and have good intention from a place within, the mixture of these two, the real, the close at hand, and the ecstatic, that everyone knows ironically its the electricity and technology which blocks us from being able to just go and live alone, and be alone, theres no space anymore, in the end it could be happening for a variety of reasons, and theres no explanation, whatever that means you can decide for yourself for being a rebel, for knowing the truth, for not being strong enough to make it out there, but we do, the fairies, every time in some degree, those true spirits, i don't think there is a distinction by what i mean, a good person, a good way of life, this still exists, and not so far from what is now, for me that way is the Yomo though all around there is strangeness, i'm sorry, it pulls me off, it feels wrong, but maybe its just a matter of surfing it all, because thats what it really is, the eternal waves within the self, from a solipsist point of view, but points of view change and, i think things become better we have trapped ourselves with people we dont like and made it hard to life in a simple way, nobody feels its their fault, everyone is idiots, because of the system, and the values which it perpetuates, long this has been known, when is the day school stopped being about how to live an actual life, from the earth, growing food, and hunting, and building a simple shelter without this knowledge, people feel lost and are forced into paths trodden long ago, paths of manipulation and strangeness, why did it happen? they were confused by wealth, indoctrinating everyone to their system, they forgot the basic wisdom, and cast all the world into argument, but the wise ones know and they have no real malice, just want the ways to return, they dont want people to be tethered, never going out for themselves, but whatever happens will happen, it will come again, some way or another, in this world or the next, WANTI!!!
