changing negative patterns

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by kitty fabulous, Aug 16, 2005.

  1. kitty fabulous

    kitty fabulous smoked tofu

    i've recently left a failing marriage, only to find myself "stuck" in a new relationship that does not appear to be healthy, and repeating past patterns of codependency. we are both aware of the pattern, discuss it, and are trying to avoid certain behaviors that encourage it, but without much success. i'm not sure if my current relationship should be saved, or if i should just move on. i feel trapped right now because i won't have another place to live for a month, so i'm trying to take it one day at a time. some days the pressure builds - i feel that he is more serious and has bigger expectations for the relationship than me, and some topics hurt him to discuss. i'm thinking i might want out if things don't improve by the time i move.

    i didn't want to do this, i think i need to turn off the drama, maybe even avoid men altogether for awhile, and work on changing my own behavior patterns and strengthening my boundaries so that i may be more assertive & independent in future relationships. i've made such progress, so many positive changes in my life recently, that i actually feel kind of dumb making such stupid relationship moves and repeating such an obviously unhealthy pattern. how do i break it? i'd apreciate advice, although i wont necessarily follow it unless i find it truly helpful. i do value your opinions. thanks.

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