challenge: So i probably confused a few people...

yesterday i had a carefully planned trip. i was ready to face my demons, and i did it willingly. with a reasonably strong dose, i guided myself through something pretty emotional. im sure it was pretty unusual to anyone who read it. just gotta thank you all for even listening, or in any case allowing me to get a few ideas across.
my whole life i had been emotionally blocked from feeling self-acceptance. while i often seemed capable of intellectualizing self-worth, i never really felt it because i was trying to THINK that i was worthy, not FEEL that i was worthy. I think as my ego separated from me i was able to get past that emotional block that had appeared so long ago due to the pain i couldn't handle (related to feeling for myself) as a child. finally, i burst through that dam and felt like i could FEEL and SEE emotion in my brain going down a pathway that had been long dormant...

It was a transcendent experience and one I hope I never forget.

as soon as i came down, i went out with my friends, and had a GREAT night being the life of the party. the funny thing, was that i never felt that sort of dazed/disassociated feeling you always get after acid... especially 4 big hits.

These forums made it possible.

the challenge?
I wonder if anyone else could get something similar to me. I have been doing much research into LSD and im learning about how it works. yesterday afternoon however, gave me some more insight.
it seems to me that if you have an emotional hangup, or block, something that is very uncomfortable and perhaps scary or hard to face, but you really want to change how you FEEL about it ( not think about it ) you can do so more easily while on hallucinogens.

its like lazer eye surgery in that the ego is like a pupil that focuses all our perceptions into our being, and when on a lot of hallucinogens, you can remove and re-sculpt it. just my theory, i don't think its ever been put into those words exactly.

basically the same thing that expensive therapy does but faster and cheaper.

not really sure any of you guys HAVE that kind of emotional hangup, but if u do, let me know if your going to try. i would be very interested in the results.

if anyone has ANY questions, please ask

thank you all

 

think vs. feel

this is very important. acid takes you to the feel place, the raw connection with the nitty gritty of yourself and reality, no thoughts and paradigms and things in the way. Challenge is when you come down to continue your life in this manner.

I feel this was not your first time with lucy, yet clearly these effects which she produces with great regularity are novel to you. so my question is, why do you think you never saw this aspect in your previous trips? my guess would be set/setting/dose

 

in particular, i think it was a mirror. i had to look at myself, and at first, it was hard. i didn't like alot of what i saw... but that produced a cascade of effects... resulting in nearly perfect acceptance.

also, it was my first time alone, so i could focus more and feel more emotion.

 

I still have not taken the sacrament alone I hope to have an experience as powerful as yours.

 

Solo Journey

Welcome to the camp,
I guess you all know why we're here
My name is Tommy, and I became aware this year
If you want to follow me, you've got to play pinball
And put in your ear plugs, put on your eye shades
You know where to put the cork

Don't know why, but Tommy has been speaking to me a lot lately.

 

Your experience in the woods on a strip and a half wasn't on your own Mr. Writer?

I am surprised you have not tripped alone!

 

I was only in the woods alone for like an hour or two, and was still in cellphone contact with my friends coming to rescue me and texting PV and shit. I mean a real solo journey, drop the acid alone in nature, come down alone in nature, no outside contact.

I know it's weird. Only on LSD and mushrooms, have always done those with someone. weird! I think a nice fall trip is in order

 

My plan in the next week or two is to either go solo, for the first time in a long while, on a high dose hopefully.. Or with people out in the park or something. Fall is great becasue of the changing of the leaves, temperature is moderate and relaxing... And HALLOWEEEN is on the wayy and the vibes are already here

But i will do a solo trip becasue just like you BS i have some "melancholic demons" to face, i need a tune-up so to speak haha. And hopefully the experience will be like yours, i have had 2 trips about the same depth about a year ago and i wanna go back. I'll wait for the full moon, and since its autum, HARVEST MOON!!!
eace: