Cereal

I write suicide notes with Cheerios,
gluing them to a purple piece of
construction paper.

When they find me dangling,
they'll be shocked,
appalled,
staggered

and then they'll go,
"Well isn't that note just the cutest
thang you ever did see?"
and magnet it to the fridge next to
my brother's report card.

fyi: THIS IS PURELY MY SICK HUMOR AT IT'S BEST!

 

I'm glad your life is so shitty that you have to write suicide notes at the age of sixteen. Go smoke some weed and realize that life isn't really all that bad. Hey, you could have had a kid at the age of 14, had her taken away from you at birth, and been addicted to heroin for two years, etcetera. BUT I'm trying to remain optimistic.

So, get high and shut up.

 

Why go all negative on a magnificent example of teen angst? There's some serious humor (oxymoron?) going on in that head...

 

wow this is pretty good.
I love your humor.
It never ceases to make me laugh
So dark and sarcastic.

 

Who says my life is shitty? This piece I wrote has nothing to do with how my life is right now, maybe I should start explaining my pieces so idiots like you don't get the wrong idea.

 

Well the original poster added on that whole "FYI" thing after I had made my post, clearly because the message he was trying to send across was too... confusing/unclear...

Wasn't being negative. Before he added the "FYI" at the end, it seemed rather angsty on a whole nother level that I just cannot tolerate. Especially after everything I've been through.

Whatever, though. I'm over it... how 'bout them trees??

 

You might want to reconsider who you call an idiot.
I am not an idiot, by any means.
And I would take to explaining your "pieces", seeing as how before you edit your posts with that "FYI" bullshit, after I had already posted to try and make me look like an idiot for appearing to fail to comprehend the latter part of the post. Why don't you write about happy things? People don't get the wrong idea about happiness. Unless you're a pseudo-Adolf Hitler. That's a whole different ball game.

 

I was wrong for calling you an idiot. I wasn't trying to make you look like an idiot with editing it after your comment, I just fixed it so other people won't make the wrong mistake.

 

Thank you. And I apologize for jumping the gun. Truce?

 

Of course.

 

Groovy! How's your day going so far?

 

Fantastic, yours?

 

wow, the replies to this poem are fucking outrageous

never explain your pieces, it's not your job, why? b/c poetry is about interpretation

after you write down that last word it should stand alone

if you explain your piece, you might as well have not written it

you shouldn't worry about disclaiming your poetry with FYIs

as far as telling someone what to write, that's nobody's business, and is especially nobody's authority

i, for one, thought this short little poem was fucking great

fucking great

the only two things i want to really add in critique are:

you shouldn't end lines with prepostions or articles, the "of" and the "to," the last word in a line always carries the most weight

and, i'm not too sure about how well "magnet" works as a verb, but i'll let you work that out

i dig, keep'em coming

 

All hail the great teh-horace.

 

I'm a dilemma currently. Things are getting out of control and a lot of shit's pretty shitty. I'm ready for 2009 to come around. This has been a fucked up year.

 

yep, all hail me, king of everything there is to know about poetry

 

Good thing. I was beginning to think I was hailing you for another reason.

 

okay, so check this out, since i am the king and all

i just thought about something i said up there, because i was speaking in absolutes, which only works for the pope and george bush

you should never have to explain your work, poetry is still about interpretation, and once you've written it, you've put it out there and though it is "yours" in the sense that you wrote it, it's now "everyone's" in the sense that everyone will connect with it in their own right

i was kind of thinking in a poetry reading sort of sense, as in, if i went to a reading where a poet precluded every poem with an explanation, or even after he read it, i would feel annoyed, not b/c i'd have to hear all his mumbojumbo writing process, but b/c it takes away from the poem being something i can connect with myself

when it comes to workshopping a poem, explanation should roam free, mainly b/c it helps those workshopping your piece get an idea of where you're going, as well as helping yourself get an idea, and then it becomes a candid effort of honesty and construction

and if, after you read your poem to someone, they are confused and it seems like you do have to explain it, then that probably means you need go revise and make things clearer

so...

can i still be the king

 

Of course you can. Even with all that mumbojumbo you just said.

 

i just don't wanna appear to be a flip-flopper

no one likes an inconsistent king