Casual Sex Protocol

In a casual-sex relationship, what is the protocol? I try not to call a guy for at least a week after an encounter, but sometimes this turns him off -- like he thinks he was bad in bed or something. However, I know if I call too soon, he might think I want a relationship.

(What is with that, anyway? Aren't guys supposed to dig it when a girl likes sex so much she calls for it twice in one week?)

And what about talking about it? Are you supposed to have a discussion, like, "This is what I want and this is what you want"? Or do all guys think, if a girl mentions it, she must be lying?

 

Condoms, condoms and more condoms sound like appropriate protocol.

 

Well, yeah ... that's kind of the only way it works for me.

If he don't want to wrap it up ... he don't get to stick it in.

 

I'm wondering how to act later. Like ... I said above. No matter what I do it tends to fail rather miserably.

 

YES! Love is mean!

Hmm ... he's kind of oblivious, and when I called him twice in one week (Tuesday and Friday, and Friday was a casual heads-up about a party I thought he might be interested in) ... he seemed to get kind of ticked off.
Now I'm probably just gonna let him call me ... which is not very helpful because I could really use some company now!

Bad thing? Hell no! The only reason I care what he thinks is that my current ass-getting hinges on it.

Sweeet! I'm good at being straight up. These damn games are what kill me.

 

So, really quick, as per this specific incident -- we were easygoing friends (not even that close) who had a drunk hookup; it hurt me a lot, physically, and he knew it. Everything seemed normal right afterward, but when I contacted him last Friday for a simple unrelated question he made up excuses. Today I talked him into bringing me something I had left at his place, in the hopes of scoring another round, but he was a little distant. I could really use the company this weekend ... and all my friends say to call him ... but I'm a little scared that he might think I want a relationship.

So should I try to contact him somehow and get this straightened out, or just hope he gets horny enough of his own volition?

 

If you're serious and impatient
call him and clearly/ in no uncertain terms (bluntly)
tell him what you do and don't want.

Chances are you'll scare the shit outta him though.


OTOH you might be in for a lengthy wait if it's left up to him...

 

Give me credit, I did figure that out ...

Great ... I just wasn't sure how to bring it up! Thought just acting like nothing had happened would do the trick ... but it didn't.

So you think I should try to talk to him this weekend? He wouldn't think I was a loony stalker?

 

you can call me whenever you want Suncatch

seriously though, I never understood the protocol either.... had no idea when to call my "buddy" so i just waited till I saw her out again.
thanks for this thread.

 

Sonny, I think that's about all I CAN handle at this point in time.

Superb. I'll try it and see what happens.

PS: Stagger Lee, you're welcome. What would you do if I DID call you ... ?

 

Anything that you want me to do sweetie

 

Boys are jerks. Where can I find a man?

Anyway, I'll let y'all know how and if it works out.

 

Isn't representative of all 'men'. ^ ^

Thank Goodness...

 

Well, message sent ... have yet to receive a reply, but I'll give him 24 hours and talk to his best friend before I dismiss him completely.

PS: Best friend told me out of the blue to contact him. There seems to be something more complex at foot here.

 

Bull shit.
We'd have long been exterminated if you were... *L*

 

Apparently by not discussing what we each wanted beforehand, we sort of messed up not only our hookup, but our friendship as well.

So I think discussion is important, even just in casual sex.

 

Yeah i agree, Ive been havign casual sex with a friend for about 6 weeks now, and neither of us really spoke about it. Things got weird between us, we spoke properly at the weekend, and now were fine again discussion is very important!!

 

%

 

Casual means casual, there are no rules/protocals. You just found that out! :H

 

Try this approach:

*ring, ring* (he answers) "Hello"
(you) "Hey, its me" (without waiting for him to respond) "You wanna fuck, no strings attached?"
(him) "uhh"
(you) "yes or no"
(him) "sure"
(you) "ok, I'm coming over" "bye"