Hey everyone, So I just "lost my virginity" to my girlfriend about a week ago. I'm quoting lost my virginity because I wasn't able to ejaculate at all during sex and people say that doesn't count if you don't. We've had sex twice and I don't know what's wrong with me. The girl is extremely tight so the pleasure's fine, almost too tight that we're going to need lube. The first time was about 10 minutes and the second closer to 20... I never felt anything close to reaching climax. Also, first time was with condom, second without. Only positions we've done so far are missionary and cowgirl. I did used to masturbate frequently but honestly haven't in a little over a week now. This is really starting to make me think something could be seriously wrong with me and I may need to see a doctor. I'm definitely attracted to this girl and don't want her to feel weird that I can't cum. I always thought I'd blow my load in seconds honestly... Any suggestions or experiences similar to this?
Have you been completely sober on these occasions? If I'm stoned, and especially drunk, I can some times really struggle to ejaculate. You say it's lasted 20 minutes at the most.. Are you, uh, jackhammering? Sometimes you really gotta pound fast, and for a while. Unless you get really winded afterwards, you haven't been trying hard enough. I couldn't blow my load my first time either. We went for a few hours. Maybe try to figure out something that really turns you on and use that. Failing all else, finish yourself off. Have your partner aid you in whatever way would work best for you.
Should have added, each time there were others in my house and we unfortunately can't go as hard as we want to, as my bed makes a TON of noise. Tried on the floor but it just wasn't very comfortable. I guess not being able to pound as hard as you want could definitely be the case eh? Edit: And yes, both times were completely sober
I dunno, sometimes I gotta really work up a sweat and keep up the fast-paced boning for a while. Especially if stoned/drunk. I don't see how people can get off if they are just slowly poking at each other, unless they do it for hours and hours. You should probably try to get it on when there's no one around, or in a bed that isn't noisy, or just don't worry about whether people hear you or not. I definitely wouldn't worry that there's something wrong with you, sex is pretty fucking boring when you first start out. Once you figure out what you like and are comfortable enough to do it/ask for it, and you get to know your body a bit more, and in the case of a long time partner, as you get to know their body and develop a rhythm with each other, you will find the quality of your sex life dramatically increases.
I would ask if why you stopped at the ten and twenty minute mark both times if you didn't orgasm? Are you still hard? Keep going. I couldn't orgasm for the first six months of sex with my gf. Then it started to happen now and then, and then more and more, and now it's rare that I don't orgasm. Our typical sexual session lasts 45 minutes however, so you might just not be going long enough. Also I'd say don't artificially speed yourself up. It's actually about slowing yourself down. Go slower. Feel every second, every millimeter of everything, really be in the present moment, don't go all "pornstar" and make sex a workout unless you're working for HER orgasm, because it probably won't help you at all. Please like this needs to be listened to before it grows symphonically.
of course it still counts. otherwise, women don't generally lose their virginity until they've had sex a hundred times, if ever.
Sounds like a case of performance nerves! If you're worrying about performing and worrying about other people in nearby rooms combined with it being 'new' chances are you just need to get your mojo back! Practice makes perfect
