Cannibalism

One of humanity's oldest traditions.

Consider the advantages!

We go back to our primal roots and open up the door to true human connection, through flesh consumption. Away with taboos and stereotypes! Onward with the social evolution of man!

Modern cannibalism will be strongly regulated and matched up to the best market regulations. No person would be eaten alive, or murdered for food. The law will be harsh and just on those who sin on their quest for flesh.

Poor folk could donate their lives to premium human meat breeding. The person would not only make a lot of money from the selfless sacrifice, but would also be well fed and taken care of until prime for consumption. He will then be painlessly terminated and fed to rich, salivating mouths.

Oh what a glorious way of curing the economic spiral doom of this nation!

The dead would be eaten instead of wasted on worms. The consumption would be regulated, and families would recieve money for the body of their loved one. The poor will be fed, the problem of world hunger will be solved.

We can even ship the corpses of enemy combatants to starving children in China! Imagine the posibility!

A smoker would taste smoked and a diabetic would taste like nasty chemicals! An old man would taste gamy while a child would taste like the most delicious veal one could ever hope to find!

We cannot afford to waste any resources in this desperate time of need.

Cannibalism is the only logical, merciful, and humane solution to the world's problems!

I beg of you people...

Legalize it, don't criticize it!

 

There was this Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin asked his teacher to start an open debate on whether cannibalism should be grounds for leniency in murder trials since it's less wasteful.

 

Id never eat human. Id feed some to my dog though, it seems to like biting people.

 

sounds to me like "a modest proposal"

 

Hah. Google didn't give me anything other than the actually text of the strip...

Calbin and Hobbes used to be the only thing that made the Sunday paper worth reading together with the obituaries.

 

I think that Jonathan Swift may have inspired my baby eating ways when I was a youngin'.

 

Sounds like a good idea, as long as we forgo eating the brain


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuru_%28disease%29


Hotwater

 

I ate the baby in my sig!

really flavorful, nice texture, free, and no more burden on the hospital treating his obesity!

 

Totally worth the risk

 

Yet Mickey D's has lost one of its top financial supporters.


I wonder if they'll make human burgers out of lazy fat people whose meat sucks.

 

I hear it tastes like chicken

 

I find the practice rather nasty myself and am agaisnt it

But they still practice cannibalism in parts of Papa New Guniea. Most of the time over there, a person is killed and eaten when they have brought great shame or embaressment to the tribe. PNG is the most diverse area in the world, with hundreds of tribes and nearly 800 spoken languages. So I am sure there are at least a few that still practice cannibalism. I would suggest using PNG as an example in your argument and researching that region. it is indeed an intriguing area of the world.

 

Well what else are they good for with the exception of a few who have earned their worth like;

Jorge Garcia ‘Lost’
Neil Carter ‘Gimme’ a Break’
Mabel King ‘What’s Happening’
Sebastian Cabot ‘Family Affair’
John Banner “Sgt Schultz” ‘Hogan’s Heroes’
Theresa Merritt ‘That’s my Momma’
Jackie Gleason ‘The Honeymooners’
Roseanne Barr & John Goodman ‘Roseanne’
Raymond Burr ‘Ironside’
William Conrad ‘Cannon’


Hotwater

 

I saw this movie about this gay guy who spent a lot of time in New Guniea with a cannibal tribe that openly practiced homosexuality.

The movie is about his coming back to the tribe as an old man, meeting one of his lovers, and stuff... fascinating movie.

 

I can't really use New Guniea as an example in my argument though. I'm trying to appeal to the western world audience first, and they will view the tribes as simple savages who are inferior to them. This will draw them away from my argument.

 

Here's a quote from wiki conserning William Buehler Seabrook's, a New York Times reporter, experience with cannibalism

"Seabrook went on a trip to West Africa, living with a tribe known as the Guere. He asked the chief what human meat tasted like, but the chief couldn't describe it to Seabrook's satisfaction. Later, Seabrook had the opportunity to try it himself, getting a portion of stew with rice as well as a "sizeable rump steak, also a small loin roast to cook or have cooked" however he wanted. The source, Seabrook stated, was a recently killed man, but he was not murdered.[1] He reported that, "It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in color, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all the meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable."

 

thats actually so intense, I wonder if I had the oppurtunity, if I would eat a man.. I can't decide

 

If you’ve ever read the book Alive by Piers Paul Read the description of how human flesh tastes is described in all-too gory detail






Hotwater

 

That would be a fascinating book to read.

Is it actually good beyond the description? I guess that the cannibalism itself would be worth it.

I know I would.

 

I read the book Alive way back when. Cant really remember the description of how the meat tasted.

Me for one, not sure if I could actually eat a human. I spose it would depend on the situation I was in. I dont think it would be something I would do out of curiosity, but more of a "had to" situation.