Can someone look at my translation?

Discussion in 'French' started by kiswah, May 21, 2007.

  1. kiswah

    kiswah Member

    Hi, I am new here but am intending on staying around:)
    I am getting married in France in a few weeks time - my fiance and I love it there and can't wait to get more involved in the culture and improve our language - which is currently at a fairly good intermediate level.

    We've written our own vows to say after the legal ceremony at the Mairie in French and English and as I'm not 100% confident in my grammar I wondered if someone could have a look at the few lines I've written- just to check there's no really obvious mistakes and that it makes sense from the French perspective.. any comments gratefully received!

    Here it is:

    Je suis X et je promesse toujours mis t'au dessus de ma liste, je assurerai nous accomplissons
    nos rêves et je promesse je trésor chaque minute toi et moi dépenserez ensemble.



    Je promesse pour garder ces vœux à mon cœur pour l'éternité.



    Je suis X et je promesse je ne serai jamais triste quand je vois votre sourire, je me rappellerai chaque temps special nous passons ensemble et je promesse je tiendrai votre main toujours.



    Je promesse pour garder ces vœux à mon cœur pour l'éternité.
     
  2. Sekiryou

    Sekiryou Member

    Hi Kiswah, i'm new here too and would like to help people with french learning ^^.

    I think your vows are great. Just some errors here and there. Take a look. I would say what you want to say like this :

    Tell me what you think about it.

    Sébastien.
     
  3. kiswah

    kiswah Member

    Hi Sébastien,

    J'espère que vous allez bien.
    Merci beaucoup - thank you so much for taking a look - they now read exactly as I wanted them to and your help is really appreciated. C'est parfait! Reading my version and then your version, I can see where I went wrong with grammar now! :)

    At least planning my wedding in France has been very good for improving my French - talking to and emailing suppliers has been a good success so far - fingers crossed!

    Are you from Quebec originally
    Kiswah
     
  4. Sekiryou

    Sekiryou Member

    Hehe, Fingers crossed [​IMG]

    Yes, exactly ^^ I'm from a city called Shawinigan in the province of Québec.

    I'm happy to have helped you.

    Sébastien.
     
  5. Lorna

    Lorna The Magician

    It should sounds more like that:

    Je m'appelle x et ferai toujours de toi ma prioritée, je prendrai soin á la réalisation de nos rêves, et promets de chérir chaque minute que nous passerons ensembles.

    Je promet de conserver ces voeux en mon coeur pour l'éternité.

    Je m'appelle x et promets que la vue de ton sourire retirera toujours toute tristesse en moi, je me souviendrai de chacun de ces instants précieux que nous passerons ensembles, et promets de toujours tenir ta main.

    Je promets de conserver ces voeux en mon coeur pour l'eternité.

    This more how it should be.
    I changed the line about the smile, cause if not it was saying that you will not be sad at the seen of her smile!! wich was quiet unproper and the opposit than wha toyu wanted to say.. it can mean both and could make people smile..
    so i replaced it by a non dubious one, your smile will always remove all sadness in me, is what i put instead.
    I made it all lore lyrical and more french..
    the previous one was a bit acva, some errors but good .

    good luck!
     
  6. kiswah

    kiswah Member

    Thank you!



    It seems there are so many different ways to say what I want to say and to make sure it is proper in the French language, any help is appreciated - I'm off to make some amendments!!
     

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