Business owners with stress that affects libido?

** If anyone has any stories I can learn from, I'd love to hear them, thanks in advance.

I've been with my girl friend for two years and I like her very much. I'd say over these two years, we've grown really close and intimate and she understands me very well now. I am 38 years old and she is 25 years old. I have never dated or been in any kind of relationship prior to being with her. Whereas she has dated a few people before me, so she has a bit more experience than me.

My girlfriend likes having sex, and I was able to make love with her once a week in the first year of our relationship. But this past year, we've hardly ever had any sex because of my stress at work. I've been running my own software company for the past 10 years and it's been a roller coaster..some good years and some bad years. But especially this past year, the company collapsed, and now I'm trying to build a new company. It's been a very challenging year, and I've been hit by one set back after another. I really feel like garbage and a complete failure in life. But that doesn't stop me from marching onward every day, wherever the battle takes me.

For much of my life, I'd say that I am both a very ambitious and career focused individual. But every day, I can't help but think how I never lived up to my own expectations, and that I am an under achiever. Especially the past 15 years of my life, I feel like a complete failure, because I've never taken my business and career to the heights I had dreamed of as a child.

And with the past year having gone the way its gone, it's really hard for me to get in the mood of having sex. Watching porn really turns me off as well, because the male performers exhibit that confidence and aggressiveness that makes me hate myself. How do I feel confident when I'm a failure in life?


My image of myself is so closely tied to my dreams of creating a great business. Lack of progress on that front destroys my libido.

Curious if anyone else has gone through similar phases in their life?

 

Your over thinking it bro

 

Yes I went through a similar experience some years ago when this country was going through a recession . I am amongst other things a number 2 in a small building company which is my main occupation .It was a struggle back then as the New Build programme ( New Houses) slowed to a stand still. So these were difficult times in trying to find alternative work for our workforce and I was very stressed out. So sex was a no no. Thankfully I have a very understanding partner who supported me and help me through this tricky period. However we did find some "us" time by having some weekends away . This took my mind off work a little and allowed me to focus on my partner .

So if you are able to do something like that then it will help but not cure it .

 

I was going to say sometimes doing things outside of normal like maybe have your wife visit you at work maybe have a office hand job sometimes stuff like that will spark something for later that night

 

remind yourself that there's a younger woman who wants to have sex with you.

 

I own my own bussiness and I feel like my sex drive is at a all time time

 

a all time time is pretty impressive. i'd like to own a bussiness if i can get the all time time sex drive.

 

I'm going to be blunt to start off with and say that "work stress," which I do not dispute that you have, is not stopping you from wanting sex or having sex. It's an excuse, not a reason. Late-stage terminal cancer, or a recent unhealed bone fracture? Those are things that will prevent a person from wanting sex or from being able to follow-through.

If it's a priority, you'll pursue it. It seems you have a willing partner. You haven't made it a priority lately. I don't judge you for prioritizing work over sex. We each decide what's important to us and how we spend our time. However, I would judge you for not being completely honest about it with yourself, with your girlfriend, or in your posting.

There's a researcher who has done a lot of work on sexual desire, and her basic finding is that couples who keep having sex for the long haul aren't those who have stress-free lives. They're the ones who talk about it, agree on it as being a priority for their relationship, and make the time to do it.

Couples that continue to have sex regularly aren't people who are always in the mood, or whose desires are perfectly matched. They're people who have committed to each other that sexual contact and satisfaction is important to the relationship. They do it because it keeps them close, even though one had a bad day at work, or there are dishes in the sink. I can't think of a better respite from a difficult day in my chosen profession than to fall into the arms of someone who cares about me and whom I want to please sexually.

I can't give you confidence. It comes from within, and only you can generate it for yourself. However, give your partner a good sexual experience, and practice and experiment to keep giving her better sexual experiences, and you will find that confidence you say you wish you had.

In a committed relationship with a willing partner, your being "in the mood," at a particular moment, should have little to do with whether you have sex or with the quality of that sex. Just as in business, instead of waiting for something to happen, in the bedroom, make it happen.

Stressed about work, and can't get an erection? Give her the best cunnilingus session you've ever given her.

 

First of all, those who say "stress at work should never affect your sex life" have never been under the stress you are describing. My husband and I have been there, and thank God passed through it. This kind of stress takes every bit of extra "anything" out of you.

As far as your sex life vs your relationship, that's harder. You aren't married...you don't have a super long history. In our case, at the time, we had been married in excess of 25 years, we were in the business together....we were in life together. And we stuck it out...not just the business woes, but the lack of socializing with friends, the lack of sex, the lack sometimes of being civil to one another.

And I don't know that I've really answered anything, other than stress can be debilitating, and relationships are important. Perhaps being your business owner isn't fitting a round peg in a round hole. Maybe use should use your talents elsewhere...and when you walk out of the door at 5, you don't have to think of it again until 8 the next morning. But if you're a small business owner, you understand that you never leave it at 5 p.m.

Again, I don't know your story. But if she is struggling with what the business difficulties bring out in you....and you really value her...then you have a decision to make. Best wishes.

 

I don't take my work home. One reason I love my job
Once I'm off the clock I'm done, Going home, don't give it another thought.

 

I guess I'm the odd ball! I have a full time job that involves a lot of stress and it is all out of town. I also have a small business to keep up with.
For me sex is a stress reliever. It kind of resets my mental and physical attitude. When I get home, if sex isn't going to happen my wife knows that I'm a bear with a tooth ache until we have sex.

But that's just me!

 

I have managed several business fulltime for over 15yrs. When I get home to both my bi girlfriend & my husband I want to really unwind. For me sex is the go to activity, it takes away all my stress & strains of the day. Try it you'll be amazed how good it really is