Bullying.

I want to perform a mini-survey here...
Please answer honestly, and to the best of your memory.

1. Were you bullied as a child/in school?
2. Did you find that, that bullying sticks with you, to this day and makes socialization uncomfortable, to say the least?
3. Do you suffer from any array of mental problems?
4. Are you still bullied, as an adult? (it happens)
5. Do you believe, being bullied in school, has anything to do with your current mental health?

Bullying, in my books, is anything that made you feel uncomfortable going to school...being your surroundings, and being uncomfortable with yourself and making friends. It could be from name calling, being physically hurt by other kids, or simply being rejected by fellow peers for anything like getting good/bad grades, being fat/thin, not "dressing right", etc.

The reason I want to ask, is because... I've found that a lot of my hurt, now, when it comes to accepting/not accepting myself, relates far back to the kids that just, "didn't approve"... I still think about it, time to time, and hurt. I believe that bullying played a huge factor in the development of my eating disorder. I find it hard to be social, without feeling awkward, or as if everyone is thinking terrible things about me.

I often think I'm being a big baby, because of this... but the more people I talk to, the more I realize that bullying can have a huge affect on a person, and the problems it might lead to.

So please share, if you will.

 

1. yes, I was bullied as a child.
2. Yes, I am afraid that people still judge me, even today.
3. Yes, i have bipolar disorder (not related) and some form of anxiety disorder, although medication and therapy has helped a lot.
4. No, I am not bullied now. Two years ago, I was and that really fucked my head up.
5. Somewhat, it just makes me more self concious than normal. Otherwise, I've learned to say Fuck those people, they have more issues than I do and I feel sorry for them.

Hope this answers all of your questions! I am willing to explain my answers further if need be.

Peace and love

 

Girls in elementary school picked on me because of my breasts. In junior high I got made fun of by some of the boys, and phys.ed was a nightmare because the boys would watch me run my warm-up laps. As a teenager I was called names that negated my worth as a woman... they made me feel like just a walking set of tits.

I do think it sticks with you. I am still over sensitive about my breasts and feel bad about them. I know I go out of my way to seem intelligent when talking to people in the "real world" to compensate for the whole "big boobs/no brain" thing.

As for mental issues, I have BPD and right now am suffering a touch of post pardum. I honestly think the fact that I can't find a bra under $80 that fits to be part of the problem... apparently 36FF isn't that common of a bra size? haha. I am getting a reduction for both my physical and mental health when I am done breast feeding, and to be honest, I can hardly wait to get the suckers cut the hell off of me!

 

1.) Yes, very much so.

2.) The bullying and peer rejection I received while growing up, working in tandem with other negative forces (ie, an abusive psychotic mother) has still, to this day, left me extremely insecure and desperately needy. So, yeah, it has stuck with me.

3.) Yes, quite an array - I'm horrendously insecure, cynical, and I have many characteristics of Avoidant Personality Disorder
4.) No, I'm not bullied now.
5.) I believe that the bullying I received while growing up, combined with other negative forces, has had some permanent effects on my psychological development, identity and how I interpret the world.

 

Something I believe to be true, from experience, is that the human brain is hard-wired to require the validation and approval of other human beings in order to be psychologically healthy, in spite of any self-help resources that say you have to "love yourself" and "appreciate yourself" before you will be able to get along with anyone else. It's not pleasant or empowering to think this way (ie, that you can't be happy from within), but it would explain why most people have a hard time accepting themselves after facing humiliation.

 

1 yup, sure was
2 not really, altho it did into my 20's
3 nope
4 nope..altho i guess ya could say some went on into my 20's (early) but just by total idiots with nothin at all goin for em
5 yea and no..yea it made me stronger, but no, i had alot of other things influence me more then a couple dumbass bullies

 

1. Were you bullied as a child/in school? No, not at all. I pretty much knew everybody.
2. Did you find that, that bullying sticks with you, to this day and makes socialization uncomfortable, to say the least? No. I have a hard time seeing how it could.
3. Do you suffer from any array of mental problems? Recovering cocaine addict.
4. Are you still bullied, as an adult? (it happens) No. I thought people grew out of that
5. Do you believe, being bullied in school, has anything to do with your current mental health? N/A.

 

In a perfect world.
I know so many people, many of which are my friends, that are still bullied to this day, even in their early to late 20's.

People don't always change.

 

I guess it depends on your defenition. Have I had people pick fights w/ me at bars? Yeah. Have I been made fun of? Sure. Life goes on. I've picked fights with people and made a lot of fun of a lot of people.

But routinely harassing somebody? Routinely threatening to beat someone up. Seems fucking weird to me.

Edit: I just read your definition - rejecting somebody is not bullying. Somebody not fitting in is not bullying. Getting made fun of once is not bullying.

 

I tend to disagree. Getting bullied is when someone makes you feel bad about being yourself. That could mean getting picked on once, which might have a traumatic impact on that person.

Peace and love

 

Were you bullied as a child/in school? the first few weeks in sixth grade because I was in a new school district and there were some hard core 8th graders but then my mom put me in karate and I got the balls to throw a punch and I made friends easily
Did you find that, that bullying sticks with you, to this day and makes socialization uncomfortable, to say the least? mmm it makes me afraid of gang members that are in that part of town! d: (I was right over the line to go to the good middle school)
Do you suffer from any array of mental problems? I have always had anxiety my mom says even as a toddler I would have to know exactly what we were doing for the day. But I think each bad experience in anyones life heightens their awarness and anxiety.
Are you still bullied, as an adult? erhmmm physically in past relationships with guys, but that's it and I would never let myself be in those situations again.
Do you believe, being bullied in school, has anything to do with your current mental health? not really, but I know people who it has.

 

1. Were you bullied as a child/in school? both. i was a bully in elementary school and in middle school i was bullied. in middle school, was bullied for being white, until i put my foot down and beat the shit out of a few kids.
2. Did you find that, that bullying sticks with you, to this day and makes socialization uncomfortable, to say the least? no
3. Do you suffer from any array of mental problems? no, thats a whole new can of worms there
4. Are you still bullied, as an adult? (it happens) nope, i refuse to allow myself to be bullied now
5. Do you believe, being bullied in school, has anything to do with your current mental health? for some, yea it can have lasting effects

 

Yes, to all 5. People just *love* to hate me.

 

i love to love you

as far as bullies go.;..i had alot when i was younger..and it was always 1 group..last time i saw any of them i was maybe 20..i saw a few of em in a parkinglot..they'd gotten a hold of me & the 1 who was always the worse..leader of the pack type asshole..starts tellin me boute how hed grown outta hitting ppl & shit..meanwhile 3 of his freinds got my arms pinned..finaly they let my arms go and act like thyre steppin away..& suddenly he sucker punched me as usual..but this time with brass knuckles..peeled my eyebrow down so it hung over 1 eye
these same assholes tried running me over more then a few times..
i doubt they ever grew outta theyre pathetic lives..but that was the last time i've ever been bullied..as in routinely..or teased or made to feel bad about muyself
altho ive been attacked by skinhead gangs & had my head stomped a couple times..but i dunno if thats quite the same
& that hasnt happened since early 20's
has it affected me now..maybe i do tend to stand up for whats right more
& do try to always be the peacemaker in tence situations

 

Aw, I love to love you too

But man, what bastards to do something like that to you! I hate people who can't find a better thing to do with their time than hurt people for their own pleasure. I'm so glad that you recovered, and that you are okay now,though! -hug-

 

1. Yes
2. Nothing more then how i would be if i wasn't bullied
3. Not theri was a point where i was looking preety close to antisocial disorder, but i was young and i won

4. No, i might in ways bully others (some people are spineless)

5. Bullying has made me more aggresive, more forceful i use to be quite nice to most people, but when i found out that i could force my bullies to shut up and that it worked, so some say i have a short fuse, but the worst form of bulling, wasn't the playground kind, it what i see everyday when in a way someone reject me, they see me and they judge, they see me and they catorgize, my body becomes an object, to their eyes, so i've finally learn to play their game, to get fit and strong, and all my crazyness was in a way caused from everyone who rejected me feed my anger, to point where it was sink or swim and if you read my posts you'll see i survied but i still don't take shit from anybody, i haven't since 7th grade.



as a side note, my personal promblem stemed from when i was young i would cry when i was angry becasue i would get punsihed for being mad, yet comforted for appering sad, so i had a lot of anger built inside of me, and i proceed to be reject by my peers slightly and sometimes becasue of my wieght. I not going anywhere but i remeber very mad this one time and i stabed a freind who was fighting with me with a pencil and through the jaket i drew blood, it hard to explain everything here.... but if your interested in one man's story i have it spread across this pages (sort of)

 

so, sininabin..would you say your bullying and emotionsal dammage as a child made you become a bully yourself/
and..when you say you still dont take no sit from nobody.. what determines what is shit..could i be concidered as giving you shit just by askin these questions?
what i'm getting at, is..where do you drawl the line as to what sets ya off &? brings on the attack instinct..

 

very good questions i've asked myself most of them,

i never really bullied anyone would be a lie, and i admit i am not strong enouph to resist the lure of power, and i know i can be long winded but let me tell you a time of my time as tormentor, i don't know maybe we weren't that bad:

In 8th grade my weak and flacid relationship ended, for matter i won't disscuse here, and my old freinds i ditched for the most popular kids. Sean and Sunny where the two guys at the top, and i always been hazy why sean took my under his wing, (well he did see me beat up some kids playfighting but we were just fighting to fight didn't have any qualms) but any ways are school went on a half week trip to washington, and we were allowed to choose are roomates, there would be four to a room. We all choose each other's name and but a diferfent name for the fourth one. THe last guy in our four was Wei Shi pang (he sounds like a target) we never talked to this kids before but he put each one of our names and that why he got into our room. This kid was asian FOB who had a gay lisb, and a scrawny unattractive build, he didn't really have any freinds and i think he liked sunny sry this is going to be long

SO the frist night we meet him and are quite shocked, and we proceed to just exclude him from us, he gets to sleep on the closet floor, locking him out of the room you know the normal stuff. we were talking after they locked us in our room, wei shi pang was isolated from us in our room, and we were kidding with sunny, liek you know he has a secret admirier, and wei shi liked him and stuff, sunny was getting preety worked up so he was saying shut up you guys and stuff, by the end he was like okay i'm going to do something when he sleeps. The frist night sunny brought shavin cream, and toothpaste and when wei shi went to sleep we put the products on his chest, and face and stuff. He then got his razor blade and was cut some of his hair. Wei shi woke up and he was said "what the hell are you guys doing" i remeber sunny hitting him in the stomach and saying "shut the fuck up", he closed the closet and we played cards

the next night wei shi went to sleep and this time keep his closet closed, after we contined to haress him in the normal ways, that night i don't know how it happened but we decided to all piss in that container that you put ice in and then dump in on wei shi, so we all pissed one by one into the ice holder and then dumped in one his stomach crotch area, when he woke up we said " wei shi pissed himself" laughting and stuff, he said nothing and went to the bathroon to wash himself off, we alter made fun of him and stuff calling him a bedwetter and stuff later

The next night we were bored again, and wei shi was taking a shower and sean had a disposable camera, the bathroom i forget it either didn't lock or the lock was broken, so sean decided to take a picture of his dick, me and sunny wathced from the bathroom door, as sean ran in hit the shower curtains, and pulled then off and took a picture of his crotch, i never saw the picture, and the other nights their were other things that keep us busy so we never really messed too much with him again

at frist i didn't feel so bad but rewritting it it sinks in what i did i would apologice if i ever meet him again

im very bad at drawing the line i'm on a football team so they basically if i think they aren't joking, i usally give a warning then hit them in the face, lol one time i hit the wrong guy in the face becasue another guy was throwing grapes at me, and i turned around and they guy i ended up hitting was holding the grape and simileing so i thought he did it, i'm usally patient but my rule is if i'm unhappy they will be too anyone pushes me i push back any one hit me i hit back, anyone nudge me i'll usally push back but they're usally a friend or accindental. i'm definatly more juvinial at school i feel i have to be. and really i never try to be mean..anymore

 

anymore..when was the last time?

some of that sounds pretty bad..do you ever wonder how you affected this kids life? ya ever concider wether thats like torturing an innocent animal just for being unable or unwilling to deffend himself?

 

I disagree with both of you.
Being bullied doesnt necessarily have a definition, but you sure as hell know when its happening to you.
I dont like to define it for anyone, as everyone reacts differently to certain things.

Bullying for me, was being continually picked apart for everything I was by a certain group of girls all through school, one in particular who just would NOT leave me alone.

Bullying for me was being called fat on an hourly basis during every school day. But that isnt how it is for everyone.