Bullies

I stumbled upon this video on youtube a little while ago, and it's one of the most heartbraking videos I have seen in a long long time. I was never bullied in high school because I was always pretty strong but I do like to stand up for other kids who are bullied and can't do anything themselves out of fear or weakness. PLease take the time to watch this video. I knew a few people who killed themselves do to bullying, i wish there was something more i could have done.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrqRRQD-sz0&feature=related"]Bullied to Death: Suicide of 15 year-old Kristina Arielle Calco - YouTube

 

There were 3 suicides here past last 10 years that I know of. I haven't knew any of those people personally though.

The only thing we can do is standing up for bullied people. And not many actually does that.

 

Sad she died. But I don't blame others for it. Are they horrible people? yes.... "bullycide"? I don't think so.

Disturbing that she had it that clearly planned out. At the same time, serious props..... she did it, instead of the usual "plea for attention" bullshit "attempts" that ruin the lives of family and friends for years, before an attempt accidentally succeeds.

I guess it's like the witch test..... if she dies, she was innocent

 

I'm sorry but suicide at the age of 15, due to people calling you names...is just a testament to how screwed up our society is as a whole...especially the friggin school systems.

I mean, why is it okay for kids to be bullied in school, why is that not apart of the job of the teachers and administration to take that seriously and not allow it?

 

It is part of their job but hard to monitor and 'execute' (not literally ) consequently. Especially if you're running out of time already to get a whole classroom of kids ready for exams. Sad but true.

 

There are some here to seem to be belittling the effects of that bullying can have on the victim. Bullying, especially long-term, systematic bullying can have a devestating impact on someone's mental well-being. I was bullied from my first day of primary school, up until I left school. And also suffered some bullying outside of school too. I definitely do not have anything negative to say about kids who have ended their lives through being bullied. Apart from the bullies themselves.

I know what a isolating, hellish existance it is waking up every morning in fear of the harassment and sometimes even physical abuse that may come to pass for me during that day. Suicide and thoughts of my own death were never far from my mind. It's very easy (but also downright foolish) to criticise others over issues that people have never had to endure themselves.

 

Just like Kristina, I used to be a scrawny little thing who got no respect from male bullies in school. Unlike Kristina, when I started looking better, the bullies completely changed their tune with me. Suddenly, they expected me to forget every heartless thing they had said to me in the past. I didn't. When they asked me out, I got to experience the supreme joy of telling them to go straight to hell. :cuss:

Bullies used to make my school day miserable, but at least there was no internet or smart phones to allow them to follow me home. And I had wise parents, who told me things like, "These idiot boys are never going to amount to anything, and you're going to have a great life when you get out of school. Most of your life is going to be spent as an adult, and you won't have obnoxious young boys in your peer group. You just have to get an education first."

My parents turned out to be right. According to Facebook and the scoop from high school reunions, those guys' rotten attitudes have followed them through life, preventing them from being successful at anything. And it's been years since I had to be around anybody who acted like them.

Most teachers in my (public) schools didn't care at all about bullying. Sometimes they blamed the victims, or said "they need to get tougher". One elderly teacher said to the class, "everybody has to learn to stand up for themselves". Some of the younger teachers seemed to admire the bullies, or think they were just funnier and cooler than everybody else.

I don't think many teachers feel this way anymore, but there are limits to what they can do to change things. They can't hear every word that students say to each other, and the online situation is totally out of control. And the girls are bullying each other! I never saw that. We had some cliques and minor catfights, but nothing serious.

Why do some bullying victims tough it out, while others can't handle it? I don't know, but I do know that 15 is too young to be dealing with that kind of pressure. I wish I knew how to put a stop to it. If all the bullies could be identified, I'd like to see them all put into one class in each grade level, and not allowed to interact with anybody else in the school. Something has to change, because the trend is getting worse. Maybe there should be more consequences for parents who let their kids get by with being bullies.

 

I can look up most of the people I went to school with here...

 

Bullying is useful because it gives children a way to learn, defend, and push forward. Simply put, bullying is an important part of development. We bully ourselves all the time. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt fat, or ugly, or too short, or too tall etc. These are destructive things we tell ourselves, the only real difference is that a bully has to gall to say it out loud.

Here are 5 reasons why bullying can be useful:

1. Bullying helps children grow thick skin:
Simply put, as parents, it is your job to teach your children what you know, and build up their self confidence. You should tell your children that they are beautiful and smart and thoughtful and amazing. The reality of this is, when people are told this all the time, they aren’t really exposed to what the world is like. A bully will impose some sense of reality into a situation. A bully is a person who teaches you that you aren’t perfect, and that you have flaws.

2. Bullying builds confidence if dealt with immediately:
There are lots of commercials that deal with internet bullying, and to be honest, it’s just a sign of the times. When someone is picking on your child, it gives you an opportunity to flex your parenting muscle and deal with it immediately. It also opens the door to discussion. If your child is not feeling confident, now is one of the best times to start telling them how great, amazing or wonderful they are.

3. Bullying helps children create a sense of self-awareness:
Let’s say, for instance, you have a child who hates taking baths, so one of two times per week, you let that child skip his/her bath session. If the child has a stain on his face, one of his friends might say “Ewww, you didn’t shower, you still have sloppy joe on your face from lunch yesterday, you’re dirty”, that one comment could catapult that child into the shower everyday. Although this is considered bullying, the result is a cleaner child, and because of the positive effect of the negative comment, the bully now has nothing to say.

4.Bullying helps children learn to defend themselves:
If your child has a bully who gets physical with them; even if you teach your child not to fight, eventually that child will fight back because he/she will get tired of being hit. The psychological benefit for a bully is to pick on people that he/she feels is weaker than them, because there is no real challenge. The perceived weakness can be because the bully sees that the child is smaller, or emotionally fragile. Bullies rarely pick on a child who will fight back, or who will insult them too. Once your child defends himself/herself, the bully will find another target.

5. Children eventually learn that bulling is a way to deflect negative attention:
Many times what we realize, but don’t act on, is the real reason for the bullying. Is that child (the bully) receiving attention at home; positive attention? Is that child having difficulty in school? What is going on with the bully? When you combat the problem that the bully is having, you can find a way to resolve the poor behavior.


Lastly, bullying sets that child up for dealing with disappointment. In life, things happen

Hotwater :2thumbsup:

 

Yeah, unless someone kills themselves.

 

It is very sad... i've known of 3 people that commited suicide in high school.. one of them i knew pretty well.. kids never picked her in groups. they always laughed and made fun of her... mostly the prestigious kids made fun of the "lower class kids..."
If you didn't have name brand clothing or wear make up or always fixed hair.. And even though we wore uniforms to school it made no difference.. you could still tell where you got your clothes from... not in sports or if you weren't skinny you got made fun of. Also if you are mexican....


The girl i knew she over dosed on pills...... her mom woke up and was going to get her up for school and found her on the floor in the restroom. I felt for that girl. and what really pissed me off all of the kids that bullied her felt guilty and was 'sad' she died... tears and even went to her funeral.... little arrogant fuckers were "cool" enough to bully someone to that point but then they were all sad and shit when she died... this is one fucked up world. I knew what she was going through cause i was bullied too. I always told her positive things and got detention for telling kids to fuck off.... and as said above many teachers favored the bullies.... "they are just having fun...no harm done...... " and often found it funny..


People bullied me mostly because I didn't have name brand clothes, my weight, and because i am Mexican. I never allowed them to push me to suicide.... but i did get in lots of trouble is school for telling them to fuck off and i believe it has caused some insecurities... i think as i get older i do get a little better and start to feel better about myself... i wish everyone could learn to live and love eachother... "live to love, love to live" cause my brothers and step dad also made fun of me because of my weight.


i also had problems where i went through periods where i didn't want to eat or i didn't want to eat at dinner because i was embarassed to eat because i knew i was chunky and everyone told me i was fat... i would eat very little and sneak food in my room at night.. which made me gain more weight and get bullied even more


also bullying doesnt always push people to commit suicide but it also causes health problems and eating disorders like bullemia and anorexia which can also kill you and cause many problems.... some people that are bulemic throw their food up so much that it becomes a normal thing.. they can't eat a thing without throwing up over time.. its horrible.

 

I was bullied the fuck out of in school, from the age of 6 up to 15. And I wanted to die. Physical and emotional bullying. I never told anyone but I resorted to self harm for a little while, without any intention to die because I knew once school ended I'd be free, pretty much. But bullies can be evil. I got hair ripped out and punched in the face because I wouldn't kiss one of their shoes, which would have gotten me a mouth full of boot anyway. That was at 11 years old and they were all 14-16....I was a target because I was quiet, clever and didn't fight back.

I don't agree with some of that post hotwater. Bullying did NOT make me confident and grow thick skin, it made me worse, I was confident before hand and they took that from me. I was a sitting duck because I had no choice but to be, they outnumbered me by a lot and I had 0 friends because of this. I turned to drugs at age 13 just to get away from it all, I even faked that I thought my appendix was going to burst just to get out of school. Went from top groups to bottom groups within months because I couldn't concentrate on anything other than not seeing these girls.

I understand that bullies may have troubles of their own at home etc but it is no reason to screw with someone else

The only reason I stopped getting bullied was because I managed to fight back, which goes against everything I stand for, I ended up ripping a clump of hair out of a girls head and I felt so bad for it.

But yeah, bullying would have been enough for me to commit suicide, if it wasn't for a counsellor I started seeing who helped me get through it. And I think schools need to do more because 15 year olds committing suicide is just wrong! The behaviour some of these bullies take with them after school could lead to something much worse in the future..

 

That poor little girl. If the bullying went on from JR high, I blame her parents for not keeping up to date on how she was doing,how she was feeling and being very involved in her everyday school business -- enough to realize what was going on in her life.
When my # 1 son didn't get off the bus one day after school when I was there to pick him up,I found out where he was and why he got off early. A rowdy older boy had punched his lunch pail almost flat and told him he was going to hurt him when they got off the bus. Nope. Not going to continue. I took care of it immediately and that shit never happened again. You have to nip that crap in the bud,but you can only do so if CLOSE communication is ongoing with your kids,teachers and sometimes other kids. Of course,this situation was pretty obvious and came out of the blue.
I never was bullied in school,but I stopped it when I saw it happen. I didn't/don't like to see people's feelings hurt or to see them embarrassed. It hurts me to see it,so I act and what happens--happens.
I've asked my grandkids how school is going on a regular basis and if there are any bullies or do they see anyone being bullied--so far so good.
The teachers and administrators need to keep a better eye on this stuff and snap some serious shit when it happens.

 

A little bullying often makes you stronger, a lot of bullying often scars you (and sometimes others like the parents too) for life. Out of proportion bullying can never be talked right.

 

ugh this is the most pathetic thing i have ever read.

 

Yeah that post is practically saying bullying is okay, or even positive.
Bullying has long term effects on the victim, whether they were recently bullied or not.
I get panic attacks still. I got panic attacks before going into my english lesson, I physically could not get into that classroom because of the people in there, so I failed english.

 

"a bully is a person that teaches you that you aren't perfect and that you have flaws"!!!!
Now that is fucked up!!!!! Anyone that tried to bully me or tries to bully my kids or grand kids will soon learn who it is that has the flaws!!

 

same here.... as i have said above i am very insecure with myself...
:grouphug: and that is exactly what that article is saying. i didn't see one statement in that article that "made sense.." oh yea bullying is ok it makes you tougher.. whatever..... talk about low.

 

I am sorry to hear that some of you were bullied. I hope things are better now and continue to get better. Back in about 5th or 6th grade this one kid was bullying one of my friends, im not sure what happened between them, but I went over to them and then he kind of pushed me so i liteally picked him up off the ground and threw him into one of those large storage bin unit thingys. I felt kind of bad after but i think since i did that it kind of made me wanna stand up to bullies who were bullying other people. Since he never tried to do anything again i guess it worked. I think we even became friends. i know some people dont like physical altercations but sometimes it works.

 

Yeah, it ended up working for me, but I felt like I had no choice at that point, I think literally all the anger I had built up just exploded, I was like a tiger! Funny how after they all wanted to be friends with me, kind of made me feel like I was 'one of them' when that was not the impression I was trying to give at all! Ah well!

:grouphug: weeattoes, sucks that some people can stoop that low as to effect another person for possibly the rest of their life!