ok, i've left the catskills and now find myself stranded in rural isolation in the little town of moravia, ny. moravia is about 25 minutes from ithaca. in ithaca itself there is plenty of pagan activity, and enough tolerance to allow a reasonable degree of openness. but in moravia, that isn't the case. when i was in woodstock, i felt like the only one in town who wasn't buddhist. here i feel like i'm the only one who isn't baptist. and i'm sure we've all experienced that, in general, by the demands of their faith, baptists tend to be a bit more agressive and a lot less tolerant of those of a different stripe than the buddhist neo-hippies i've left behind in woodstock. the local halloween parade is protested regularly by one church, and i have been advised by my 2 of my cousins to keep my pentacle under my shirt, if i'm to find work or not have my children harassed by their fellow homeschoolers. my other cousin, however, is more familiar with paganism than the two i'm living with, and is encouraging me not to hide it, insisting that others of a like mind will come out of the woodwork eventually, that i have a right to be openly myself, and that paganism is nothing to hide. there are enough "alternatives" here, that moravia supports a fairly well-known naturist camp, although that doesn't necessarily translate into religious tolerance. this is a small town, and i am a newcomer here. i am "trapped" by lack of mobility until i can get my liscence. i have to shop here, use the public library, and raise my children here - i can't just go somewhere else, because i don't drive yet. i haven't found a job yet as transportation is severely limited, and i want my children to be able to make friends. i'm also concerned about lunatics who might call CPS with false claims of "satanic abuse", mainly because i have had similar confrontations in rochester. my children's safety, happiness and comfort is my first priority. i want them to be able to make friends here, without fear of harrassment. samhain is coming up. my children are going to want to know how we're going to celebrate. and i do need to find work. so what do you think? should i hide the pent? in or out of the broom closet?
Frankly, I'm surprised you had problems in Rochester. It's the birthplace of American feminism and the most liberal, open-minded city I've ever visited. Maybe I'm tainted because I was born there... Lizzie, the only thing you're likely to find in Moravia is right-wing Christian apple farmers. I don't use the word hate very often but I really hate the southern tier of NY. It's pretty and that's just about all it has going for it.
If it were me---and it's not---I'd stay in the broom closet for the short term. I would strongly encourage you to get your license as soon as possible. Doing that will give you more of a choice of jobs, and it will help you get your pagan self to Ithaca as often as possible. People in Ithaca might know people closer to you who can help you make friends and have more information to make a decision. Good luck and bright blessings!
Totally agree Do what you feel is right. Maybe lie low for a while, just until you're settled in and people can get to know you. Then let it dawn on them. They should like you enough by then for it not to be an issue, and you'll be more confident in those surroundings. Good luck
zoomie, we'll have to agree to disagree on rochester. in my experience it thinks very highly of itself, but doesn't deliver. heron, other religions do have to consider hiding around here. in fact it'd probably be worse for me if i were muslim or sihk. zoomie's right, this part of NY is all right-wing christian apple farmers. i'm feeling frustrated and trapped. i came here because i had nowhere - and i mean *nowhere* else to go. my cousins made all kinds of promises about getting me wheels and work, and now it looks like those promises were pretty empty. the only place here to work is the factory where i will have to hide my religion or get fired. yes, in theory i could bring a lawyer, call the ACLU, etc. but the reality is there's nowhere else to work. i'm not liking it here very much either. i feel like i'm trapped in some sort of nether-world.
I find it hard to believe, I live in a small South Mississippi town, full of right wingers, but i have no problems, am very outspoken, and even had forum at the elementary school with the principal and my sons teacher. I recently taught half the class period at the local community college on primal religions, and the teacher, a baptist minister, is quite happy to tell everyone that visits the class room that he has me there to represent paganism. I guess i couldnt imagine a place worse than this before, but i guess i am wrong.
The difference between where you are, Heron, and where Kitty is, is the same difference between being a Democrat and being a Southern Democrat. You'd think they are the same but they are not. And like anything else in the world, what you say will be understood according to where you are standing FIRST and by what you say second. I come from a large hippie family originally from where kitty is, and we all claim Rochester as home because it's much less judgemental than the southern tier farmlands. We're all spread out now, but still call Rochester home. Sorry to hear that it has fallen. Stay in the closet, kitty. By law they can't ask you questions about your religion or lifestyle. If they do, you have a lawsuit. So document EVERYTHING.
Yeah I am in a place probably exactly the same as were heron lives, a small Alabama community, full of right wingers, but there are a FEW people here that are semi-open minded. Nobody really knows of me being pagan, except my friends and that one teacher, well, every teacher probably knows now... I would stay in for a while and see how things were going and then try and tell a few people, and gradually come out.
I agree with Zoomie....stay in the closet. I too live in a small town where southern baptists and the first babptist church rules. Hey they closed down a wonderful book-music store because the cds were uncensored and they sold a small selection of new age books. If it were me I would take the factory job, just to make some cash, get my license then get the hell out.
i have some leads on a better job that will use my art skills and is a lot less hellish than the factory. it's in a little town that's a lot more open than here (closer to ithaca) and is for a company where both my cousin and his wife worked and were well liked, so they'd be good references. there's no way i'm taking the dead-end factory job. my cousin says he doubts i'll have to hide my religion there. of course that doesn't make socializing the kids any easier, but maybe as i start to know more people through the co-op, around ithaca... on the "up" side, jessie (my cousin's wife) and i start our biodeisel classes this weekend. lloyd has some kind of environmentally friendly building business, or something, i guess, and i guess jess & me are taking care of the biodeisel for the trucks. knowing how to make biodeisel will also make heating the house a *lot* cheaper, not to mention getting my mind off being in hell. jess knows and organic grower who's also pagan, so hopefully i won't feel all alone out here for long. maybe i can meet some guys at the green star co-op. jess knows some people with yurts she's going to introduce me to, too. (although i'm sure zoomie's yurts are better. ) zoomie, where exactly in the southern tier are you from?
i'm wondering how far in the closet i should go? i want to order some catalogs but feel eneasy about having them sent to where i'm living. i wonder if i should have them sent to my other cousin's address instead? this is ridiculous. i have never had to be so far in the closet i had to worry about ordering a catalog to buy incense, not even when i was a teen living at home with my christian dad. i'm just wondering how much i give in? i mean, my cousins are letting me live there. on the otherhand, i thinki that there's only so much that's reasonable when it comes to compromise. i may be going back into the broom closet, but i'm not ceasing to be me.
I wish I could help... that's a hard one, I don't know if I'll ever tell some people in my family... good luck though...
You can never cease to be you, Lizzie. Not even when you pass through the veil. That's how it has always been. Sometimes we must cloak who we are to coexist in a society rife with prejudice and hate, but we always step into the light again. Good things to you, friend.
I'm out of the closet but I'm use to being "in the light" anyway. I have 20 make-ya-think bumperstickers on my truck so expression isn't an issue with me even with living in the middle of a bible thumping part of so.calif inland empire. Most folks here I think are too nervous to approach me. *g* I dunno, maybe its my scary dark skin dotted w/ tattoos or that 35ft bus in the front yard. Eh. I hope I made you smile, Kitty. It will get better so in the meantime, I would suggest picking up a couple of books from this man, Kerr Cuhulain. My guess is you'll get a lot of information from either his website or doing a websearch or his books. Here is his bio from witchvox.com (another website were you could connect to other folks in your general area). ------------------------ Bio: Kerr Cuhulain the author of this article, is known to the mundane world as Detective Constable Charles Ennis. Ennis, a former child abuse investigator, is the author of several articles on child abuse investigation that appeared in Law & Order Magazine. Better known to the Pagan community by his Wiccan name, Kerr Cuhulain, Ennis was the first Wiccan police officer to go public about his beliefs 28 years ago. Kerr is now the Preceptor General of Officers of Avalon. Kerr went on to write four books: The Law Enforcement Guide to Wicca (Horned Owl Publishing), Wiccan Warrior and Full Contact Magick: A Book of Shadows for the Wiccan Warrior. (Llewellyn Publications), as well as a book based on this series: Witch Hunts: Out of the Broom Closet (Spiral Publishing). Email Kerr: cuhulain@telus.net ---------------------------- I hope that's a start! Many Blessings upon you!
I don't want to tell you what to do, so I'll just tell you what I did, since we have very similar stories. I live in between two cities: Asheville and Hendersonville. Asheville is considered one of the most liberal cities on the Eastern seaboard, and is commonly called "the little San Francisco." Hendersonville is a little safe haven for 80-year-old rich white Republicans, ever since it was rated as one of the top places in the US to retire in the 80s. Anyway, I really didn't consider the question of being "out" until after I already was out. In Asheville, people are really accepting. In Hendersonville, I get a few strange looks (mostly because of my black hair and blatantly anarchistic behavior), but mostly no one really cares. If I'm interviewing someone for journalism, I tend to cover my less-subtle signs of paganism (mostly my pentacle necklace), just to be professional. But I've found that most people, at least around here, don't even know what a pentacle means. Most of them confuse it with a Star of David (only in the South, I tell ya). And, I do talk about my religion a lot, even around people who are generally very conservative. In fact, one of my best friends is a conservative Southern Baptist, but she has come to see me through the religion. A lot of people think I'm crazy when I'm talking about my conversations with Spirit and other things, but that's me, and I'm not going to change just to please them. I have come to see my pentacle as a shield. In fact, that is now its main magickal function. It keeps a constant barrier between me and those who I don't want to know, and draws in those who I want to meet. You can look at that magickally as well as psychologically, in which people with prejudice are repelled by what they view as a sign of Satan, and people with similar interests are drawn to me, because they recognize a commonality. Once again, I can't tell you what to do, but you'll let others into your personal life if and when it feels right for you. But, just a few final words, which I heard sung at a very moving Shinedown concert, and have always stuck with me: “How could I change so I could make you feel comfortable? I just can’t do that for you; You should never do it for anyone else. Tell them straight to their face, always: ‘Motherfucker, what you see in front of you— This is all that I am!’"
I'm quite out with my wiccan self... although some have a hard time accepting it, but there's aways rocks on the path of life
I'm kinda out but also in the broom closet. My mom knows and supports me. My boyfriend, who's an atheist, also loves and supports me and even participates in the celebrations and rituals. However, I don't see myself telling my dad or his side of the family...they're very set in their ways and they just wouldn't understand the concept. I love my dad, and I know he loves me, so I just desided I won't complicate things. Cape Town is quite liberal...we have such a mixture of various religions, people are generally very interested if in different religions and want to know more, which is great. Unfortunately, it's not like that in the rest of the country.
