breaking on through...

to the other side.

so, alot of the time when i am near the peak of my trip it feels like i am really close to complete ego death and unification with the universal subconscios. sometimes its just like an incredible energy inside of me that feels like if i release it i will be united and freed. once my soul partially exited my body and i experienced life through the subjective experience of all my friends and myself in the room. another time reality began to peel back and i felt god and a higher dimension. but for some reason during all of these experiences i hold back. i pull myself back to this reality, instead of truly letting go and letting the waves of the godhead take me over.

peering over the cliffs of the collective unconscious is a daunting sight indeed, and it is even harder to jump off.

so, what does everyone think about breaking through and my situation?

 

Do you feel as though you are ready? You probably pull yourself back because you are unprepared or something.

Try meditating and stuff. See what you can learn. Everything is a lesson...

Sounds epic though! congrats!

 

kinda like heaven. Everybody wants to go but nobody wants to die.

 

i think weve all gotton to a point like this but we just are afrade to go in deeper were afrade that were going to get lost and we wont return to this dimention or that we are just confortable with where we are and we afrade to change

 

I think in your particular situation perhaps you should take a large dose and force an ego death, after that you may find it easier to just let yourself go next time.

 

IMHO, forcing anything is bad.

It will come naturally when it is ready.

 

i have the same problem, always peeking over the other side but never getting there. i feel the many times i have come close something deep within holds me back. i believe it means we are just not ready, something needs to change inside us in order to go on. we have already come so close, if one works hard there is no doubt that he will be able to pass beyond.

 

Not necessarily. There is a lot to be said for experience.

Its like climbing up a 10m diving board and not being able to make yourself jump off. But if you where forced into it (pushed, had no other way to get down etc.) The next time you climb up there you know that it really isnt that bad. The adrenalin will still be rushing through you but the fear has subsided because you know that it really isn't as hard as it looks.

One of my greatest trips was a forced ego death. I learned a great deal from it and now find it easier to let go on smaller doses and get to a similar place in my mind.

I remember reading in The Psychedelic Experience that they suggest that someone who is trying to lose their ego for the first time generally needs a higher dose than someone with more experience. Its that little nudge that you sometimes need to push you over.

There is a lot to be said for the benefit of higher doses.

 

Yes, I do see your point. However, if you push a 4 year old who cannot swim into the water, chances are that when he is older he will be even more afraid.

So I guess that at if it really is too early or you're not mature enough, you could really hurt yourself. But if you have confidence in yourself, then it can work out quite well.

I didn't mean to offend you by disagreeing with your point, ad10.

lol i don't think you are offended or anything...but I love being polite when I am stoned :]

I guess it's all about how the user feels. As individuals, we are all unique. Some may be more confident with taking higher doses. Others, not so much.

But yeah. good luck desos!

 

^Well you force your kid to ride a bike until they stop falling...

 

I have to agree that a large does can help push you over the edge in a helpfull way, make it easier to find again.

 

The easiest way is dosage. Just take twice as much, and if that doesn't work, take twice that, etc.

The other thing is that this may be the old Am I High paradox that marijuana newbs often experience ("I just smoked 5g of dank in a gravity bong but i don't think i'm high?")

sometimes you have already broken throuhg, and you have ego death, but you are ACTIVELY trying to be sober. You have to relax and have an attitude of "Whatever this molecule wants to show me, I will listen."

I bet you've already been at the point where you have ego loss and oneness but it was so strange that you kept going back to your normal mindspace to make sense of it all

but it's pre-sense

 

i like your point. i think next time im takeing a double dose of what i took my first time which was 6 hits so i guess im going for 12........kinda afrade to take that much but i guess everthings worth trying once

 

yea ive been waiting for the right opportunity to unfold itself so i can take a heroic dose, but lately all the times that have been good for tripping i just havn't been in clear enough of a mindset to trip. and all of the times that i have the right midset the enviroment isn't right... so i'll keep on waiting.

 

That's a good attitude that will probably reward you, although you might consider just jumping into it without "perfect conditions". Be as brave as you can be

 

i know i have been coming really close to the other side

but at the very last second each time i have a huge buildup in a trip i always get the feeling that im about to die

which makes me think you have to die to truely break through to the other side

 

just your ego, but it's the most disposable part of you, trust me.

 

Take a higher dose, and don't be afraid of it. Give yourself time. It'll happen.
If you let go and break through, you will still come back. It's not getting there and staying that changes you. It's having been there, and coming back.

"Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." - Martin Luther King Jr.

 

For me, it was an attitude thing. When you're standing on that cliff, you CAN'T just "jump". It's more of a, relax, lie down and wait for the wind to push you off sorta thing. There is no effort required, as any effort is simply an ego action.

Another thing to consider, is what is ego loss? Ego loss is the experience of a blank state of awareness. You can call it the spirit, love, existence, everything, nothing, infinity, so on and so on, but really all it is, is yourself with no expectations or requirements. Don't say "I'll do this so that I can achieve ego loss". Say "I'll do this."

Again, something that may help, is to face completely what you fear. When you're standing on that cliff, what are you afraid will happen? That you won't come back? Big deal. You're already dead, you're just waiting to be reminded of that. Accept that you're not the one in control of your life, because there is no "one in control of your life". There is only everything, the big picture. Control is an illusion, powered by fear. The ego is FUELED by fear, every second of your life. The reason you keep running is that you are running from something that you are afraid of. Figure out what that thing is, and learn to accept that it is a part of you, and always has been. When you give up the illusion of control, peace will find you. No effort is required.

If any of this is helping or unclear lemme know and I'll try to rephrase it or add more.

Oh and by the way, when you've made it off the cliff, you'll immediately be relieved to know that falling is only an illusion. The only thing you were ever afraid of was fear itself.

"there is no such thing as you
it doesn't matter what you do
the more you try to qualify
the more it all will pass you by"

 

Amen, and welcome to hipforums.

We don't even need to try, we are one

That's the best part. Letting go is the easiest thing in the world because you realize you don't even need to try to do it; you just need to stop trying to hold on!