I've honestly never written a haiku before, and would appreciate any (constructive) criticism that can be given. Go ahead, tear it apart if you have to, just be curtious about it. Milk swirls Cheerio grows soggy Floats as lotus on surface
2 6 7 is that a haiku format? not insulting your poem i think its great...i'm just not learned in the ways of how to do a haiku...
Haiku in english shouldn't be the traditional (japanese)5-7-5 because english sylables carry more meaning than in japanese. 3-5-3 is better. But really, that's not really as important, American haiku isn't really as structured (thanks to Kerouac, actually). As long as there's no opinion or personification. They should be direct experience, not your interpretation of it; that is the original Zen of it and should be retained, structure or not. The original post is right on in that regard. Anyways, yeah, i liked it, it's medium good haiku (doesn't make me say wow! but it's still good). Keep writing, and read some other haiku, especially originals by Japanese Zen masters so you can get a feel for it. I love haiku, it's a great form
