last night was my 3rd time eating boomers. the first two times were awesome,,but this 3rd time i completely tripped out. 2 of my friends and i split a quarter, but since i had bought it i chose what i ate, which was two fat stems and the biggest cap in the bag. it was at least twice the size as my friends were. i couldnt get comfortable and kept moving around the room, laying down and getting up, sitting down and getting up just feeling awkward. i almost left my friends house cos it just wasnt feeling right. i stood outside staring at the sky and realized the trip was right about to take over. i had finally gotten comfortable on the floor, wrapped in a broken sleeping bag. i was tripping HARD. colors were shifted, i was seeing designs and patterns. but once the lights went out, thaaaat is where my story starts.. ive always been kindof depressed, with feelings of outcast even in my own family. im the youngest of EVEryone, and have always felt like the annoying little cousin\brother that nobody wants to spend time with. my mom thinks i hate her, and my dad and i have hardly nything in common. my dad is going to prison for tax evasion, and me and my mom have to move to a smaller house. I found this out Nov. 09, and my schoolyear has been a total mess, i was just so unmotivated because of my family falling apart. i smoke bud everyday, and had realized that i needed something different. i wasnt sure what i was looking for, but was certain that a trip would just drain alll the stress and confusion and craziness going on in my head. i needed to deal with it all when i was most vulnerable, if thats the right word (or maybe weak, or childlike) most would probly not recommend tripping in this state of mind, but maybe someone will see where im coming from?? BAAck to the trip..(sorry im all over the place with this writing) the lights went out, and i was completely lost in my head, literally like i couldn get out. i was speaking out loud almost the entire time. there were amazing colorful visuals that almost always looked like faces looking at me. my mind was talking, but it wasnt me saying it.. During the peak, i started to think that people were just sacks of bone and flesh, and that our actions really did not mean anything. i still belive that, in a way, i mean do our thoughts mean anything to rocks? I remember saying out loud, People are only what they make of themselves, (my words may have been different, it was a Lot more meaning ful at the time ) For some reason i thought my mom was standing over me. i thought she knew that i was tripping and was disappointed that i was using drugs again (shes found bongs, pipes, pills,) I felt like she would understand why i needed to just escape through my mind and deal with whats going on in my life. i was able to understand myself,, my thought process was like nothing before. i wanted to be with my family, and i wanted them to know i love them. (almost the entire trip i was literally rambling about how i love my life and my family, which is VERy, uncommon for me.) I laid on the floor in the dark just tripping so hard. it was psychedelic, but i was more hallucionating thoughts, if anyone can understand that. it was like my mind telling me i was finally just Ok. Once i realized i loved myself, the trip went from figuring myself out to an amazing visual trip. it felt likt the whole time this sort of 'bad trip' i was experiencing while laying on the floor just untied hundreds of knots in my brain. it felt so good i stood up and the rest of the trip was great memories. the lights came back on and i wasnt afraid of anything anymore. i was ready for anything to happen in my life. I still am. This trip was lifechanging for me, and that is EXACTly what i was lookingfor. mushrooms helped me in a time of my life that was already lifechanging. Im still unaware when or how long my dad will be gone, but at least i feel like i have a better connection to my life, my family, my friends, and especially myself. AGAIN, sorry for being absolutley everywhere in my writing. just trying to get this out as i hear it in my head. Has anyone used mushrooms as i have? i didnt really go into it looking for a crazy media-influenced psychedelic trip. I knew what i wanted to do. if you read this, i respect that ha, i raaambled. thanks
thats amazing, i think everyone should use pyschedelics for this purpose, figure themselves out.. learn from them. that must have been an amazing experience.
MAPS does psychedelic therapy research... I am growing them atm also, they are a wonder to watch grow imo. And then get to eat them, you feel so accomplished creating them.
the whole time we were tripping, The wall by pink lfoyd was playing but it was on shuffle. i had never heard the wall, but all i remember is random walls of sound ending immediately and going into something else . seems like these SHulman vids could be similar
