Bittersweet Reflection

Priceless work of art

Caged behind smooth glass -

I want to touch you.

Such sweet emotion could be provoked

By the feel of your hand in mine.



Lord knows -

It is so sweet to imagine

Us together, chasing the moonlight peeking through the trees

And gliding through seas of floating stars.



Little music box,

The intricate melody you play

Haunts my heart, again and again

With the thoughts of the gaze I never met

The touch I never felt, and

The lips I never kissed...



The feelings I have for you

are like the sand -

Sparkling,

Slipping from a child's fingers.

I can never have you, I can only

Watch the castles slowly melt

Into the sea.



*~Kristin

 

chasing the moonlight peeking through the trees

And gliding through seas of floating stars.

Now that's an image! And you're good at them. Now work on presentation. Make sure form supports your sharp imagination. Some say flow is a god. It is.

 

Thanks, Kidder, I appreciate your help.

Flow is not so much of a problem for me as formatting - making the stanzas appealing to the eye, too. It sounds good when it is read aloud... but a little jagged on the edges when it is read.

Then again, Emily Dickinson threw that out the window, didn't she?

 

I love it, very atmospheric and mood-creating.

Your husband must be the happiest man ever to have stridden through the dark Norwegian forests ( brandishing corpsepaint, axe and torch or not ) with you as his wife! ( I would be :O ssshhhhhh! )

Um yeah. Hm. Do I say too much?

 

your wording shows imagery and lots of it. also I really like how this poem sounded deep. this is a very beautiful poem I like it alot

 

This was my favorite stanza. The whole piece reminded me of a deleted scene from Something Wicked This Way Comes; I don't know why (but it's a good thing)...

Thanks for sharing this!

 

Ahhh how well I know the feeling, yet your description is so gentle and sweet, mine would have been more bitter

 

Beautiful


Castles in the sand!

 

Agree with Fulmah about that stanza - it's lush. Love the music box image. And agree with Kitten too - I love that this is beautiful, not edgy.

 

oh..dear Hippievixen...just read your poems... very nice...

I still have to ponder on them...

 

Pondering is good...