Bit of advice from wise ones please ^.^

Hello,

I've just began a relationship with a man I'm in love with.
We have known each other 7 years now and spent many of those in
A relationship. The problem is he has ended things with me twice before
And that concerns me. The first time he did, I hold my hands up
I was being a pain in the arse so I understood.
We then spent a year apart and tried things again and I was
An angel, but he ended it then, now two years later we're trying again.
He is very apologetic and says it won't happen again, me and him forever
Now and all that jazz.
But recently it has been bothering me, and I was hoping for some unbiased advice. Am I being silly worrying about the past, or am I being silly believing that he loves me and wants a relationship and giving it another chance?

Many thanks!!

 

It is bothering you. Can you live with that? Why is it bothering you, now? Something he did? Something he said? Something you've seen?

You don't say why he ended it two years ago. Another woman? Something else?

In my observations of myself and other women, we're always finding excuses for our men shortcomings. We're often in denial. I'm not implying men are doing something wrong. They're who they are. And we fantasize they're something else, a better version of themselves, and when they don't fit that ideal, we find excuses. We do that for ourselves and for others, kind of trying to make our men look better than who they are.

Can you not be bothered with him if he's just... himself? Or are you with him imagining he's changed into a better version of himself compared to two years ago? And I mean "better" from your point of view, not as in some kind of "absolute" better.

Be realistic. Don't be in denial.

Did what make him leave you two years ago change? Really? Only you know it. He probably knows it, too. I, on the other hand, have no idea.

It's a tough situation.

 

wise ones? you came to the wrong place...



i have to assume that if a guy dumps you twice, you're probably not an ideal couple. but there's really not enough info here to say anything with confidence.

 

I Want to Know What Love Is
by Foreigner
--------------------
got to take a little time
a little time to think things over
got to read between the lines
in case i need it when i'm older

this mountain i must climb
feels like the worlds upon my shoulder
through the clouds i see love shine
it keeps me warm as life grows colder

in my life, there's been heartache and pain
i don't know, if i can face it again
can't stop now, i've travelled so far
to change this lonely life

i wanna know what love is
i want you to show me
i wanna feel what love is
i know you can show me

gonna to take a little time
a little time to look around me
i've got nowhere left to hide
it looks like love has finally found me

in my life, there's been heartache and pain
i don't know, if i can face it again
can't stop now, i've travelled so far
to change this lonely life

i wanna know what love is
i want you to show me
i wanna feel what love is
i know you can show me
---

 

I'm very skeptical of people who say this about themselves, for some whacky reason.

 

I am sorry to say that IMHO, your relationship with this person does not sound like a positive one for you. It sounds as if you are the rebound girl in his life. He comes to you when he leaves his last one and moves on when he finds another. I don't want to be mean or upset you, but my personal rule is to never go back where it didn't work the first time. Might be some good advice since this is now your third time with this man who keeps breaking it off with you.. Be wary

 

Yeah, I'd worry too. Only longevity will ease your doubts.

 

Thank you, I don't take that as mean ^.^ to be honest I've had large doubts and have now decided not to continue with it, past experience has now shown me it's just going to lead the same way!
Thanks all!