Nye Bevan was this like politician yeah - and he did all this wierd shit like invented the NHS and the welfare state in Britain and then he got old and died but before he did that he also made people work in the mines during the second world war because everyone wanted to go off and get shot by german soldiers rather than face one more day living in a crap country like britain so they all signed up but Nye Bevan said No and thumped a few of them in the balls - then he threw them in the back of some big vans and made them go down the mines else coal production would have stopped. Then the rest is history except that a comedy team called "not the nine o clock news" once did a sketch where they pretended to be panelists on question-time and someone said (like the dumb question at the end) "in view of the fact that the ussr has just declared war on the west and fired several hundred nuclear warheads at us - what do the panelists think is the best course of action, and then Rowan Atkinson says in a welsh accent "well I've often wondered what Nye Bevan would have done in such a situation... And I'm prrrrettty sure he would have shat in his pants"
Jesus was like this geezer who said just run away if trouble is coming your way. JC also said " IF you do have some trouble then after the bullies hit you - tell them to punch you again on the other side of the head", in this respect jesus was like one of those blokes who think theyre rock hard and tell you punch them in the stomach "go on punch me there sunshine"! Anyhow jesus got famous and a few people at the same time tried to write unofficial biographies of him but as publishing hadnt been invented - hardly anyone read them until they put them all in a big book called the bible. Jesus had some problem with a powerful roman and even though jesus tried his "go on punch me there " routine it didnt work and for his audacity the roman dude naled jesus to a plank of wood. In this respect the roman was like the Kray twins who were ruthless London Gangsters that once nailed a geezers head to his coffee table - The romans had thought of nailing jesus to a barn door but they hadnt invented barns. anyway now everyone thinks jesus is great - well they did until the beatles came along and the beatles were super famous infact John Lenon (who was the son of god) looked a lot like jesus - and conspiracy theorists believe he may well have been jesus Nowadfays people who enjoy reading about jesus being nailed to some wood - like the books so much that they have wars with people who read books about other famous people from the roman times. Infact followers of the bible are infact expert killers and should be avoided at all cost - especially if you prefer reading about shinto - or islam
Action Man is a plastic male doll that boys aged about 5 to 12 years old play with then when the boy becomes about 13 or 14 he melts action mans head with a blowtorch. Action man is the stupid half brother of the even stupider ken (as in ken and barbie) some believe that action man is big in the gay community because of his rugged features and highly toned masculine body apart from that action man is crap and most kids know that the best thing to do with an action man toy is to sell him to some daft twatty adult on ebay for as much as you can get
Sentient: I do not know how you ended up on this forum, but at the end of each day I praise the Lord that you did.
I'm going to stay out of this one I think JC is great! Learn to forgive yourself. Learn to forgive others. There's no need for primadonnas. Everyone's got a voice. Everyone's got something to comtribute. You don't have to be clever. You just have to be you.
Come on Sentient, confess... You still have your acion man and it's probably in a dusty box in your parents's home in the loft, or the basement. You want to get it back and dress Barby/Sindy as a stormtrooper so she can whip him while Ken is at work.
Cheers whitey - BTW did you learn much about nye bevan from reading that - A publisher has offered to publish all my biographies for about 12,000,000 but only if they are educational rather than just going for the cheap laugh
Harold Wilson looked like a Bulldog Chewing a Bumble-Bee - and was something of a bore who would go on TV and pretend to have something interesting to say - except that he did once do a very famous speech in which he said that Britain would live in the white heat of technology. By which he meant that we would be a nation of innovators and at the forefront of the digital revolution. However not many people actually bothered to listen to the speech - they were more interested in watching "It's A Knockout" which was on the other channel. Infact very few people even knew he was prime minister until about two years after he left office and people started saying "dya remember that boring bloke that used to be on telly - the twat with the pipe and a funny voice? they never have him on anymore - what was his program about anyway"? It was only years afterward that anyone recollected what Wilson had said about technology and thought it was a good idea so It didnt happen for quite some time Nowadays no-one ever hears about harold wilson but he was quite a famous bore at the time - only Ted Heath was more boring. Charlie chaplin did a film about him - it was like the film he did on Hitler, called The Dictator, but the one about Harold Wilson was called "The Twat". Rumour has it that Wilson was a Russian spy but then It was Margaret Thatcher who said that and she was a Bloke in drag who bullshitted her way to the top. but thats another story - I'll be writing about that episode and her amazing balls of steel in another biography Harold Wilson died because he topped himself rather than live through the thatcher years - as did most of the working class
Margaret Thatcher was a drag act that rose to the very height of power and became britains first transvestite prime minister. Originally she was trained for power by ted heath who was her guru - he used to unleash teams of Rottweillers to track her down and at first they would bite her but eventually she learned to behead and strangle 12 dogs at the same time - that was when Ted made her a minister and she started off by taking free milk off kids of poor people who could hardly afford school dinners let alone a drink of milk for the kids. Heath was only glad that she never strangled any poor people and eventually she was made prime minister. She bullshitted everyone that she was a woman but she had massive balls that a bull would have been proud of and was hung like a donkey. People were sick of thatchers Britain and loads of Brits started a war with Argentina in the hope that the Argies would kill us all. It never worked and we all had to put up with her fascist crap for ages - she ripped off a load of cash from illegal deals with businessmen who bribed her for business favours - when she entered office she was worth about 1/2 a million but when she left office she was worth about 30 million -0 anyway she was one corrupt old bitch - Nothing she did was illegal because nothing them aristo's and politicians do is illegal (and if it is - well its made to look like its not - or they screw the investigation up so that they get off on technicalities) Thatcher is now a cab driver in Londons East End and belches and farts her way through 6 pints of beer a day, and now that dennis is dead she prefers to live as a man - Dennis, her husband, liked a bit of rough in bed with her and was her poodle in bed, often taking the brunt of her voracious sexual appetite up the arse
Isn't he that guy that was the leader of that party which used to represent the working class? I wonder what happened to that political party?
And Tony Blair is Maggie's test tube son created from her sperm. It's funny though when I hear people rant 'Bring back Maggie'. Why not bring back Bubonic Plague while they're at it?
I dunno mate, just after I wrote that I had forgotten who he was but I will never forget that he once made everyonelse look like a glitzy superstar in comparison - and quite ugly people clamoured to have their photo taken next to him so he would make them look beautiful - Only Jean Paul Sartre was uglier - but Sartre was infinitely fascinating at least - infact Sartre looked like a bullfrog (no pun intended) that had no chance whatsoever of turning into a handsome prince
