Big Turn off

So I met a woman quite a bit younger than myself. She is good looking, fun but a little on the heavy side. That's okay with me. The first time we had sex it was in the dark and she really made a big thing outta wearing something to bed so I didnt get a good look at her body. Since I love to eat pussy before I fuck I started down. She stopped me and told me she doesnt like it. Although I knew somewhere down the line that would be a problem I didnt make a big deal of it. She wouldn't even let me touch her pussy and acted really paranoid about it. I fucked her very hard and very well that night and many more times since then. However she started to turn me off because I never get a real look at her body and I am a visual person. Last night I open her legs and she has some terrible scars down there. She said it was from some surgery. I believe that but was like super turned off and my dick got soft immediately. She asked if the scars did that. I lied and said no because I didnt want to hurt her feelings.

There are a few issues I have with her that make me not want an exclusive long term thing with her. 1. She drinks excessively quite often. 2. She has a young son and I raised my kids and they are out of my house. 3. The eating pussy thing is something that I enjoy and turns me on almost as much as having my dick sucked. 4. The scars look really bad. 5. I think she likes me a lot more than I like her and she gets pissed when I have other things to do.

I like this woman because she is a lot of fun and very good to me. The sex is good but not completely fulfilling. I really don't want to tell her that the scars are so big a turn off, but I like to think of myself as an honest person. I'm open to suggestions as to how to best deal with this situation without hurting her. Thanks

 

You are not very honest because you are still seeing her and allowing her to think you care for her. Tell her that you have problems with the amount she drinks, that you are done with raising kids and that you should have never strung her along this long.

 

how do you know that he's strung her along for a long time? geez, no need for hostility. the guy is looking for advice on how to deal with his concerns without hurting her feelings.

 

I didn't say a long time ... I said this long. No hostility involved.

So where is you remarkabley good advice?

 

i didn't say i had a solution, just that you don't need to be rude. if he didn't care about her like you said, then why would he bother asking for advice?

 

First off I met her a little over a month ago and I have not strung her along. Why would you assume that? I do care for her and we have talked about how much she drinks as well as the fact that I'm not looking to raise any kids. She is not looking for me to raise her kid however it is a big responsibility for her. Thank you Eggsprog thats exactly why I am here.

 

I say you break up with her. I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like this is going to work. The drinking thing can be dealt with provided that she is willing to take it easy in that department herself. But the matters concerning children and the scar... Those are beyond your control. If you find her scar to be a turn-off, then she definitely could do a lot better than to stick with someone who gets soft from looking at it. And I'm not trying to be mean here. I just don't think staying in this relationship is fair to either of you, not just her, not just you, but BOTH.

So, I wouldn't say you've strung her along, but I DO agree with Tazer on one part that you're NOT being honest with her. I'm sorry if you're offended, but this is how it looks to me.

 

Are you going to make this a long term relationship? She is obviously not what you looking for, so hence you are stringing her along. Now that you have seen her scars you are turned off. .you even stated that you have lied to her. How is that being honest? She won't let you eat her pussy she won't let you see her naked.
I am just calling it as I read it. It is time to be honest with her and tell her she is not what you are looking for. If I sound rude sorry, grow up tell her the truth and not some made up bullshit reason because it is obvious that you will leave her eventually.

 

Thank you I am not offended at all. I find your comments to be fair and you understand where I am coming from.

 

What a difficult and uncomfortable situation to have to deal with. I can see all sides. Just wanted to say i sympathise, but really don't know what to advise. Sorry, this is useless, but i feel for all involved. That's all. good luck.

 

The scars may well be from a hysterectomy which, as it happens, is a procedure that most of the women I've been with have also been through, and it can leave some pretty severe scarring.

This, however, can often be a good thing, as it means absolutely no need for contraception so, apart from the obvious risk of STDs (which is always present), condoms are no longer necessary.

 

So what do you think I should have done, broke up with her last night? Maybe this is news to you but it takes time to get to know if a person is right for you and the good in her case far outweighs the bad. This was not a purely sexual relationship. We did many things together aside from that. Dining out, cooking together, dancing, we have good conversations about things. Yes I lied about the scars turning me off. If that makes me bad person to say that to keep from hurting her at that moment I am guilty. The truth is it wasn't until this morning that I felt for sure she is not the person for me. You are rude and you're not sorry. You could have gotten your point across without being that way, but if that's how you roll that's your business.

 

Thank you

 

[QUOTE=Bowlegged Scony; the good in her case far outweighs the bad.

Yes I lied about the scars turning me off.

she is not the person for me.



There is your answer.

If you are going to be on here you have to learn one thing. This is an open forum and you have to learn to take the good with the bad. If you can't do that then you shouldn't post here. You will not like everybodies answer. Sorry you didn't like mine.

 

You seem to have a lot in common and enjoy each others company,other than the sex deal. If scars turn you off and you don't think you can handle them,then move on. As far as cunnilingus goes, love,communication and patience is effective. The drinking shouldn't be too hard to take care of, with the same qualities I mentioned. But again-the scars. That part seems a little odd to me. If every woman that had to have their breasts removed for reasons known,lost their partner because of scars--well,that sounds somewhat shallow to me. But what do I know?

 

If it was your intent to be helpful I missed it in the assumption that I am stringing her along and the "grow up tell her the truth". It's not a matter of me liking the answer. I am willing to hear them all but you certainly don't have to be an asshole. However if that is your nature thanks for letting me know early. I'm not the only person that noticed it.

 

Well I think it is a little different if you are with someone before this happens, but maybe your right. Maybe I am shallow. Let me do some soul searching.

 

Being indecisive isn't stringing anyone along, you just need more time to think.

Ok, so basically you want to be able to talk to her about it, the scars and the eating pussy issue.

First you have to confess that you lied because you didn't want to hurt her...you didn't know how to handle the situation, and your sorry. Then tell her why it turns you off (is it because she hid it from you? do you need to see it more to get used to it? etc.) Then let her tell you why she doesn't want you to eat her...she needs to tell you, that's not fair if she doesn't. She sounds insecure about that and you not liking it as you are about telling the truth about how you feel....see how its mutual?

 

Well,good luck. We're all shallow in our own ways,I suppose,so you're not alone.

Although I have to add that I'm not calling you shallow--

 

My friend literally jumped from window and broke his leg when the chick open her legs . scars from pussy until the knee .