Big Bird’s Big Lie Detector! Wearing earplugs and dark shades at night, Politics are merely business if none listens! The prince of lies never opens his own eyes, Insisting only liars may reform all the liars! Insisting all the lairs, are not to be trusted! Trust is not to be associated, with politics! What I scream loudest is more meaningful! What I say once, twice, three times is True! Everybody knows its a dog-eat-dog world! Loopy temporal loops avoid eating quiche! If you repeat a big enough lie often enough, Humpty Dumpty died, in a walled in ghetto! The dog-eat-dogs will even hump your legs. Lies are the only thing protecting any truth, When paying it forward, is the only reward! Flourish of hands blue smoke, and mirrors! The moon landings were faked with cheese! Idiots all start to believe, anything you say! If you repeat it enough times, loud enough! Insisting, the whole world must lie to them! Defending the truth at all cost with our lies! Ask not what the great truth can do for you! But how do you stop the truth from hurting? Do the lies hurt worse than the stupid truth? The truth is always about personal sacrifice! Patriotism is voting for whoever advertises! Knowing whoever advertises the most wins! Loving lies, make the whole world go round! Walmart low taxes love, lies, and a shotgun! Banging your head, against the nearest wall! Running in circles screaming the whole time! Same old same old never stops going around! Thinking is dangerous when they always lie! Knowing only the most contentious can win! Even remembering crap, can be dangerous! Bullshit always leading to the same bullshit! Bullshit piling up higher than Mount Everest! Bullshit about calling out anybody’s bullshit! Thinking its illegal to vote for Mickey Mouse! Yet nobody predicted the Mickey Mouse Club! Not a single soul, predicting all of the bullshit! Hollywood writers could not make this shit up! The president cut the mass media a deal on rent. Universities teaching Vaudeville history lessons! Mathematicians, earning new degrees in bullshit! Jokes classified, as Vital to the National Defense! LaLa Land, has already moved to Washington DC! Fox News publishing A People’s History of the US. How eager to spout, endless vitriol from the pulpit, How eager to scream bloody murder from a stump! How eager to ensure you only hear what you want! How eager to despise by this are you truly known! How eager to spout smack from the church pulpit! How eager to dismiss, anything anyone else says. How eager to point the finger of blame at others! How eager to dismiss anybody else’s concerns! How eager they all scream, off with their heads! By who you hate, by this are you truly known! By just how low, you are still willing to stoop! By how often, you shoot yourself in the foot! His public becoming obsessed with big lies! Big Lies destroying, the entire mass media! Big Bird decided to buy a fancy cellphone! With a deadly accurate, A.I. Lie Detector! That was added, to the security features! Shinier, than even irradiated gemstones! More expensive, than Steve Job’s watch! The display alone cost a month’s salary. Nobody could defeat its security system! More expensive than anything he owned! Unbeatable, quantum encryption system. So complicated, it was like a real person! Tired of being accused of being a commie, Big Bird’s phone refused to work for liars! Big Bird’s phone censored out all the liars! Warning him never to talk to stranger liars. Programmed to only work, if he was happy! The judge bellowed that he was in contempt! The court found him guilty of being unhappy! Informed him, he had no right to any privacy! Demanded proof he was never an evil commie! Demanded proof any jokes, were not classified! Demanded proof he didn’t know Mickey Mouse! The Big Bird, never wanted to become a jail bird! So the judge insisted, that he inhale laughing gas! Thus, sparing the taxpayers unnecessary expense. Whilst, avoiding widespread panic among his fans! But, the Bird’s phone had the latest and greatest AI, Which told the judge, that although he was laughing, He only was only smiling because his heart was breaking.
When some idiot public mayor or whatever in Arkansas hit the news as declaring that Big Bird is an evil commie plot, I knew there had to be a lot of great jokes in there somewhere. Note that this poem describes not only the problem, but how systems logics can be used to defeat the mindless mob. You can already buy a cellphone with a built-in lie detector better than the ones the courts use. With the addition of all the AI going into everything in the next few years, this poem describe just one of the many possibilities that programmers in particular have been thinking about for decades. That's because some programmers are much more familiar with analog fuzzy logic and systems logic. Whoever uses such a cellphone, either gains an advantage or disadvantage, but there is no doubt any disadvantage is because their rights and very humanity have all been taken away. The "Big Lie" is a famous quote from Adolf Hitler, but I'm reluctant to give him credit.
