Bi men and aging

As you age, do find your desires to be with another man increasing or waning?

Or, do you find yourself leaning more towards other males, if, perhaps, your wife is no longer interested in relations?

Or, do you feel yourself adopting more of a "ho-hum" attitude towards ANY sex?

If you are a bi (or gay) male who is now a senior, do you wish to be with men your own age, or with younger males?

 

Younger guys always for me.

And yes my m2m desires have increased as I got older, and while I have had plenty of sex with both sexes in my life....probably 60-70 women and at least 1000 guys.....I wish I had been even more sexually active when I was younger.

After all, along with eating and drinking, sex is one of the pleasures of life.

So meanwhile just keep on enjoying meeting nice young horny guys ......

Simon

 

As I get older my desire for sex with a man has increased. This may have accelerated due to lessening of frequency of sex at home, and her close minded attitudes have forecasted a bleak future as well...at home, anyways...

 

I'm 63, and in full agreement with Simon; I regret past missed opportunities to express my sexuality, especially as such opportunities in the present are non-existant. At this point in my life, given the opportunity I'd generally prefer men, but being Bisexual, my tastes in that regard tend to wax and wane. While younger bodies may be more physically attractive, I've known several guys my age with whom I've had some very good times; it depends much more on who they are than how old they are. We all know younger folk we wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

 

As I'm a 65-year old masculine gay male, totally celibate for all of those 65 years), I often think about "missed chances" in my past, and, truthfully, I cannot see any at all.

Being bashed by a co-worker I THOUGHT was a friend in 1986 virtually killed off any and all desire to try to find a life partner; I am far from the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even I know that you cannot make ANY relationship work without TRUST.

And that is something I cannot do.

Back in 1996, I DID attempt to "reach out" via an ad (w/voice message) that I placed in the weekly personal section of a respectable daily paper in my area.

Nothing.

Not ONE response.

That more or less sealed the deal for me.

I was my mother's caregiver for many years (she had been housebound for a good number of years; she passed away at 99, back in 2016)

I was fortunate, in this respect, not to have had any sort of partner or relationship, as that meant I could devote all of my time to her.

My heart still aches with the loss today.

Yes, my lifestyle DOES get VERY lonely and, of course, FRUSTRATING, but, thankfully, I have many hobbies that keep me busy and my mind (what there is of it) occupied.

Being gay (or bi) in today's often bigoted and narrow-minded society is NEVER easy; this is where a man must dig deep into the hidden reserve of strength and courage he carries within him, and "hold his own" with dignity.........

 

Glad to hear that you've been enjoying yourself; after all you have been through, for so long, I think your are entitled to have "fun", with other like-minded males!

Personally, I always found the thought of inter-generational m/m relationships extremely stimulating; I truly think it quite a turn-on when there is a 40-year (or more) gap in the ages of the two men engaging in relationships.

As long it involves individuals of legal age, and, of course, is consensual (and no alarm bells are sounding), "go with the flow", live for the moment, and do what YOU desire, what makes YOU feel good!

As I've said previously, when a bi male is married, there are many complexities and issues that have to be dealt with in a mature, intelligent matter.

This is where a good reserve of common sense comes into play in a large way.......

 

As I get older. I have less desire to hook up with someone let alone be with someone outside of my marriage. Yes. She is okay with it.

 

These days, ANY "hook up" can be QUITE risky, if you are not altogether sure of your potential "hook up" buddy's intentions.

That is why it is a "must" that you trust by your common sense and your gut feelings, and NOT your libido, no matter how "tempting" this potential encounter may seem at the time.......

 

I'm 60 and have yet to notice any change in desire or capability, just recovery. But looking around at most people my age in America I'm an outlier in a not tiny, but by no means large group.

 

my m2m desires have increased as I get older and love being a strict bottom .

 

Being a 65-year old gay man, who has been celibate his entire life, I find that my "one-sided" attraction to males has not diminished in the slightest over the years.

In my case, NEVER too old to savor "eye candy"..........

 

An emptiness has just filled my void. Thank you GrayGuy57.

 

That's why I have only known and fooled around with 2 people. It's not like I don't like guys, Im just not into anyone I know that way. The senior center in town is just full of old bittys and grumpy old men. Fishing buddies always wanted to fish, not suck and fuck each other. Have you felt comfortable with a stranger? I wouldn't even know how to approach it with another older guy who is probably in the same boat

 

One adult story site I used to visit quite frequently years back had one m/m area entitled something like:

"When Best Friends Become Lovers".

In all honesty, I only had ONE truly BEST friend in my 65 years (we thought of each other as brothers and were as close) and who was also VERY gay-tolerant.

He turned me on so incredibly, in so many ways, and to this day, I STILL fantasize about us being life partners.

He was TOTALLY straight (and married) but ALWAYS 100% supportive of me.

His death to blood cancer 12 years ago left a vast void in my life that I still feel today.

Yes, I am sure many gay/bi men who love nothing more than a TIGHT and MEANINGFUL intimate relationship with a close and trusted male friend, but, sadly, all too often from what I have read, is more miss than hit.

As I have mentioned elsewhere, meaningful m/m friendships (unlike f/f friendships) are mostly "casual" in nature nowadays; just hanging out together, talking only in generalities, and really nothing of substance between the two men.

I still find it odd (and most annoying) is how f/f friendships are celebrated, whereas m/m friendships are all too often suspect.

Look at how many television commercials features either two women (or a group of women) going to a bar or a restaurant, on a vation, or sitting by a poool, with no men in sight.

Such a scenario is virtually unheard of with advertisers, at least on the major networks.

Car commercials in particular.

I have seen many commercials where two females (or more) are in a car, but virtually none where two men (or a group of male pals) are all together.

Double-standard?

Yes, I do believe so.

One of the many reasons I have remained totally celibate is my inability to trust.

I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, by any means, but even I know that NO relationship can exist without TRUST.

How do you REALLY know if your potential "partner" is being TOTALLY honest with you?

To those gay/bi men who DO indeed enjoy close male friendships and a deeper intamacy, allow me to say you are FAR more fortunate than you realize.

NEVER take what you have for granted.........

 

A I get older, I definitely find my desires to be with another man increasing. I didn't start having sex with other men until my mid fifties, about 15 years ago. I haven't had sex with my wife in many years, which is the main reason I decided to explore my sexuality. I haven't had many experiences, and I really, really want more. I've only had it once since a little before COVID, and the longer it is the more I think about desire it.

 

I've actually seen quite a few commercials lately with two or more guys in a car. Sonic fast food has an ongoing series for years. Three car commercials on recently. Buy you are right about there was and still is a dearth of just guys together. In one commercial, girls are having fun singing to Stevie Knicks, letting loose, hands in the air, cuts to the guys who want to, but look at each other, share their heads nawh. So you can be friends, just not show emotion, I guess?

 

I hear you, man.

It would seem that FEMALES can show affection for one another, with no fear of being branded "lesbian".

BUT.......MEN showing affection for one another, enjoying each other's company.......noooooooo!

Even seeing guys putting thier hands on another guy's shoulder seems to be "taboo", commercial-wise.

I jave also seen this in "America's Funniest Home Videos", which I've watched for over 30 years; COUNTLESS videos of galpals together, but FEW, if any, of only MALE buds together.

Many video clips show two girlfriends on an amusement park ride, but NEVER two MALES.

IF you see a MAN on an amusement ride, he is ALWAYS with a FEMALE.

Too, IMHO, I think too many (bot not all, of course) straight men do not know how to value a CLOSE friendship with another male, as it seems "too queer", "too gay", etc.

In my 65 years, I have had only ONE friend (who was like a brother to me, may he RIP), who, though TOTALLY straight, could have cared less that I was gay, and was NEVER embarrased in hugs, embraces, etc.

EVERY gay/bi male should have at least ONE straight buddy who doesn't believe in all this "Johnny Macho" crap.

IMHO, a man who is NOT afraid to show emotions, especially with another man, is the TRUE man.

Remember all the "buddy" movies of years ago?

They indeed have vanished into thin air.

(the animated feature, "The Road To El Dorado" is a MUST for any guy who appreciates and values m/m friendships; things DO get interesting, however, when one of the pals starts to ignore his best pal because he finds himself infatuated with a young female!

It's OK, though, it all comes out right in the end, and the buds are still "tight"!

I watch only a few hours of television each week, but, I see little "male bonding".

ONE exception (and its both refreshing and hilarious) is the cloise friendship between "Calvin" and "Dave" on the CBS comedy, "The Neighborhood".

Though Dave is straight and married, he does NOT shy away from telling "Calvin" (and everyone else!) that he is his best friend (this DOES often drive Calvin crazy, though, but is IS apparent he has a strong emotional bond with him)

That Calvin is black and Dave is white, I feel, sends a subtle, yet strong message, that, despite color differences, a m/m friendship can TRULY bond and tighten, into a sincere relationship.

And THAT should be the case for ALL m/m friendships......be open and honest with your feelings, and ignore the narrow-mindedness of those "tough" guys who fail to see the importance of a solid, sincere, m/m friendship.......

 

I was fortunate to start my adulthood during the cultural revolution of the 1960s and early 1970s. I had both male and female lovers, and also had a close relationship with a guy I have known for a long time. We still regularly communicate to this day. This is m/m love on a lifetime scale, even though we are not married. The same goes in my relationship with my girlfriend.

I know that sex does not always involve love and intimacy, but it sure is better when in that combination. It's so important to let your closest friends know that they are loved and appreciated. It's a lot easier to do that with women, because men are so conditioned to being isolated. However, when you know a guy who is willing to honestly talk about his inner life and is sincerely interested in yours, don't be afraid to love him.