Beyond Internal Gravity

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by ripple23, Jul 25, 2005.

  1. ripple23

    ripple23 Member

    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wanting to write
    one word, saying
    'forever, forever, forever'

    like one who wakes as September
    uncovers the valley
    emptied of rain,
    she must have spent
    an entire summer forgetting suns

    a pale yellow light
    on an empty road
    wearing loose clothing
    and the forecast of dreams
     
  2. EternalHunter

    EternalHunter Member

    Messages:
    290
    Likes Received:
    0
    I love this poem. My favorite stanza:

    "like one who wakes as September
    uncovers the valley
    emptied of rain,
    she must have spent
    an entire summer forgetting suns"

    Your words are elegant my friend.
     
  3. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    Messages:
    1,768
    Likes Received:
    1
    Great poem! Loved the imagery, so simple and elegant… particularly that stanza that EternalHunter pointed out… enjoyed this one a lot! :)
     
  4. verseau_miracle

    verseau_miracle Banned

    Messages:
    7,911
    Likes Received:
    9
  5. ripple23

    ripple23 Member

    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    thank you/
     
  6. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

    Messages:
    6,514
    Likes Received:
    4
    Makes me think of autumn afternoons, Lord of the Rings, and peace of mind.

    I have my reasons.

    Anyways, it was beautiful
     
  7. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

    Messages:
    6,809
    Likes Received:
    5
    '...and the forecast of dreams.'
    yep, this one has been a multiple read for me,
    kinda slippery, I love it.
     
  8. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    2
    Just beautiful~*
     
  9. ripple23

    ripple23 Member

    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOTR whaaaat??? haha. go with autumn afternoons and peace of mind :)

    i don't really have a reason for this one, nor is it about anyone in particular, i wrote it after getting back from a show really late.... maybe it's about the String Cheese Incident!

    nah not really
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice